Why I’d Rather Be Overdressed (Every Time)
Happy Monday, ladies. I hope you had a wonderful weekend. Mine was uneventful and rather quiet, with load after load of laundry and several hours of ironing, which, truthfully, I find relaxing and rewarding. I know, weird. Today, I’m musing about the act of putting ourselves together as a powerful form of self-care.
Dressing as Self-care
Last week, I ran into Whole Foods to grab some organic raspberries. Just a quick midday errand, nothing fancy. I was wearing a crisp white shirt, medium-wash straight-leg jeans, and a pair of flats I’ve had forever. I carried a crossbody to be hands-free and wore my favorite silver hoops and a fun vintage brooch.
It certainly wasn’t anything flashy but I did feel pulled together. I was surpised when several people commented on how nice I looked. Compliments always feel good which got me thinking about overdressing and underdressing and why I always err on the dressed-up side of things.
Truthfully, I think I got this tendency from my mom. Every morning, without fail, she got up and took out the brush rollers she’d slept in (remember those torture devices?), got dressed, then as she liked to say, “put on her face.” She believed in presenting herself well, even if the only one seeing her was the mailman. I watched that growing up, and I think it quietly took root, not as pressure but as self-care.
That’s the thing about getting dressed…it’s never just about clothes. It’s about care and dignity. It signals that today matters, and I matter. And in a world that seems to be sliding into anything-goes territory, I’ve found I feel better when I make the effort.
Why This Matters
Getting dressed with care isn’t about being fancy or impressing anyone. It’s a quiet way to care for yourself. It can lift your mood, bring structure to the day, and remind you that you’re worth a little effort…even when no one else sees it.
Applying This to Your Wardrobe
- Keep a few easy, polished outfits on standby.
- Choose real clothes and things that make you feel like yourself, not invisible.
- Add an accessory or two that you love, even on your quiet days, especially on quiet days. You may also enjoy How to Feel More Put Together in Under 10 Minutes
I realize that, for me, this is part of living a well-styled life.
Did someone in your life model this kind of everyday care? Or have you discovered it for yourself along the way? I’d love to hear how you use personal style as a way to feel like you.
Digital Detox
Over the weekend, I went on a little digital detox. Not from social media entirely but from the mountain of influencer emails and Instagram accounts that constantly shout about new arrivals, the latest drop, or the one piece you need to own that will make every outfit look perfect. I unsubscribed from a bunch of them, and it felt oddly rebellious… like throwing a catalog in the recycling bin before flipping through it.🤣
The truth is, all that consuming was starting to confuse my personal style. The more I looked, the more I added. The more I added, the less connected I felt to any of it. I wasn’t building a wardrobe…I was just reacting and exercising my add-to-cart finger. The whole thing suddenly felt overwhelming and stressful. It made me focus on lack rather than abundance, which isn’t good for anyone’s state of mind. It drove me into my closet for a cleanout again, and I was slightly shocked at the clothes hanging there that were not my style!
Obviously, I do share links here on A Well Styled Life. It’s part of how I support this blog and keep it going. If I find something I love and think might work for you, too, I’ll share it. I also enjoy curating outfit collages that may ring your sartorial bell. But I never want to be that person who encourages overconsumption or makes you feel like you need to keep shopping to have great style. That’s not what this space is about.
What I really hope to do is help you rediscover, refine, or simply feel more at home in your own style. To help you dress in a way that feels authentic, confident, and true to where you are in life.
Great style isn’t built through nonstop shopping. It’s built in the editing and curating. Having a larger wardrobe doesn’t give you better style. In fact, I’ve found the opposite to be true, so I needed to cut back on the noise so I could hear my own voice again.
Have you felt this way? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comment section.
Splurge or Save
So many of you ladies love the splurge or save outfits, so I have another one for you today.
This one has straight-leg jeans, a white linen shirt, a black & white bandana, red cat eye sunglasses, black earrings, red ballet flats, and a leopard print crescent bag. Can you spot the expensive one from the budget-friendly option?
In case you haven’t heard, Talbots is kicking off the summer with a Cyber Monday sale, online only…save 40% off your entire order. It’s for today only, so if you need something to round out your wardrobe, this would be a good time to look.
Here are my favs:
Thanks for reading, ladies, and be sure to wear what makes you feel confident. Please join the conversation in the comments, and let’s chat about the self-care aspect of dressing with intention.
Enjoyed reading the blog this morning! Especially the part about digital detox. I push the “add to cart” button too often. I have unsubscribed from all fashion blogs except for yours, une femme d’ un certain age, and Cindy Hattersley. From these I get good advice, answers to size questions, answers to comfort questions, etc. Thank you,!
Thanks for staying with me. My goal is to always provide value for your personal style not just be another shopping catalogue. There are already enough of those.
Whew…..that ‘splurge or save’ was a hard one and a good one!!! The bag, shoes or jewelry are normally the tell but much more difficult this time. And agree regarding the triggers to buy clothes….good advice re digital detox.
A late comment on your travel shoe post last week. Thoroughly enjoyed and also a bonus to read the posts from your friends.
I’m so glad you like it. Those gals are so stylish!
I love this post! Yes, I too can get bogged down into thinking I need to buy more but staying true to your style is more important. I also try to dress for the day even before I walk there dog. Putting on a polished, casual outfit, a little makeup and earrings is my daily routine. It helps the day start off bright! Thanks for your blog!
Karen in Austin, TX
Jennifer, this post really resonated with me. I am almost always the most dressed person at an event, and I could care less. In fact, I HATE being under dressed. I am actually sad over the way women dress today, although I do feel that it’s a bit geographic. We live in Naples, FL where the majority of the women dress better than I tend to see in other parts of the country. We summer in a shore community in Massachusetts, and that is clearly a more casual environment. I had to chuckle that, while you looked very put together, you got compliments for being in a crisp white shirt and jeans! I believe that women who don’t care to make themselves presentable in public just don’t plain don’t care about other areas of their lives, unfortunately. My mother definitely cared about how she looked on a daily basis, and my daughter has gotten that from me, I like to think. She always looks put together, even while chasing after three young boys. Thanks for the post!
That’s a great point about locale. Perhaps the age demographic makes a different too? We are so influenced by what we see around us.
Reading today brought back so many memories of my mother. She also would say “put on my face” and I say the same thing.My mother believed, as your mother did, to present herself well even if she was not leaving the house. I loved your comment about feeling rebellious like throwing a catalog in the recycling bin before flipping through it. Love the splurge or save, I think the one on the left is the save.
It always struck me as a funny expression and I thought unique to her. That’s fun to hear. Isn’t it funny how we feel compelled to flip through a catalogue or read a post, just because it arrives. Is it our politeness in overdrive? I wonder.
Great post today! And I find ironing relaxing too!😂😂
Score another one for team ironing. 😂
Good Morning Jennifer. Everything about this article is a big “amen”. A perfect read to start the week. I think we had the same mom. I “put on my face” and take pride in my apparel appearance before I leave the house every day. It doesn’t take any longer to put on a decent pair of jeans and a blouse than it does baggy cargo shorts and a ratty t-shirt.
Good morning! Your point about the time it takes is spot on! Terrific observation.
Good morning, I enjoy reading awsl! Your tips and especially the clothing try ons are fun and helpful! I noticed the red shoes in today’s splurge or save are round toed. I never know what type of shoe is in style, round or pointed toe, maybe both? I have a nice red shoe with a rounded toe so I guess I can pull it out?
Round, almond, square, and slightly pointed are plentiful this season. Pull yours out and enjoy them!! Have a great day.
Dear Jennifer,
Thank you for reminding us that what we wear is a reflection of us, and the importance to care lovingly for ourselves by taking the time to put ourselves together, on Mother’s Day morning, I hastily choose a work out ensemble to wear. I thought ” Do I really want to show up to my family in theses clots, not truly reflective of my grateful heart on Mother’s Day. I thought, I’ll pull together bright colors from my wardrobe. Chose a lovely pair of JCrew Brught wide legged slacks, and a pretty pastel floral blouse which I tied at my waist to add a punch of fun to my outfit! I received a few compliments that day which affirmed my decision to brighten up my look. My Mom as well was a major influencer as she also lived out prioritizing some self care which was a win! Win! for her as she was always in step with trends and had a very keen sense of fashion. She went home to Heaven, three years ago this coming August. Please know how much your writing means. You’re an effective and kind communicator and your content is heartfelt and appreciated. God bless your family, you, and your endeavors. Marcie
You are so kind, thank you Marcie. I love the sound of your outfit and the way your thought process worked. Your mother sounds like a a classy, chic lady. You’re a lucky woman to have had her.
You’re an effective and kind communicator… what a beautiful comment!
And true
Your post in combination with a weekend shopping trip made me realize how much my inbox is being inundated by so many emails from fashion vendors that I’m just automatically deleting them
without reading. I think your digital detox of unsubscribing is a great idea and will be spending part of my lunch break following your example. BTW, you’re not the only person who finds ironing relaxing. There’s something comforting about a shirt being transformed from wrinkled to smooth and tidy.
Yes, agreed.
This is one of your best postings ever. Thank you for your insights.
I’m glad it resonated and you enjoyed it. Thanks
Sure, I would dress up every day if someone else washed and ironed the clothes! I live in a very casual college town. I do dress up more for work (also a casual dress code) but not for errands and such where athleisure rules. Where my self care comes in is now I’m totally comfortable without makeup some of the time. I still love makeup, wear it to the office and for going out, but for work from home days and errands I’m fine without. That’s a big step for a child of the 80s and a mother who also put on her face.
That is a big step. I’m so colorless without makeup I don’t know if I’ll get there.
Jennifer, I’m not Shari but wanted to answer your comment. I have similar coloring to yours (hair a bit darker because I’m not gray but light brown) and feel the same as you. Without makeup I have no color and my features disappear. The need for makeup varies with our individual coloring and some of us truly need it. I’ll be “putting on my face” at 90 if I’m lucky enough to live that long! BTW I thoroughly enjoyed today’s post. Bravo!
So glad you liked it!
You are the lady we all look at say OMG isn’t she just adorable (in a grown up way) and envious that she took the time……love the brooch idea on the shirt.
You’re so sweet! I love that old brooch but it’s too heavy for the front of a shirt so it works perfectly pinned through 2 layers and the front placket.
Your blog today could have described my recent four month world cruise experience.
I packed outfits which coordinated with color and function.
The compliments I received from fellow travelers and more importantly the ship’s employees was unexpected but welcomed.
Like you, my mother totally influenced my way of dressing; she was always dressed for whatever the day would bring.
Back to the cruise: I was appalled at the way many people dressed.
Respect for others can start with our respect for ourselves by how we present ourselves.
Thank you for a well written and thought provoking article.
It surprised me on several of our latest cruises too. The effort needn’t be massive to look nice and put together. As you say, it also shows respect for those around us. I totally agree with you. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
My grandmother used to always say, “There’s no reason why you shouldn’t always look your best.” Good advice! 😊
Yes
Ironing is my Tuesday chore and I enjoy the memories of learning the art on my Dad’s handkerchiefs and the families pillow cases. It’s a disappearing art but my grandson knows where it falls in my weekly rotation and occasionally show up with a shirt! Thank you for your daily posts. Its one of the ways I start my day.
Ah hankies! I remember ironing them too.
I am completely hopeless picking which is the cheap vs expensive option, but would have more luck if seeing and feeling the outfit in person. It takes discipline to look put together every day and I admire how you do it. As for style, I have become quite the slacker. After 40 years of getting up at 4.30 am, running on the treadmill (or aerobics workout) the. shower/wash and style hair/full face of makeup before heading off to work at 0630, I finally retired from work. These days, if I have doody myself up, by the time I shower/hair/makeup, I am ready to pack the day in. However, I still enjoying reading style blogs such as yours.
I’m with you, Susan M! I do skin care, fix my rebellious cowlick, and call it good. I know I’ll be going to the gym and spending at least an hour in the garden, so makeup is not required for everyday. A healthy, natural look and a friendly smile is always in style!
I love your spurge or save section
Good morning
I always put on make up and perfume even if I’m home all day. Makes me happy and feel good about myself. Enjoy your day
Me too:)
Thank you for this! I totally agree with everything you said! And I thought I was one of the very few that still iron. I hate wrinkles!
Ditto but I also like the process of ironing. I find it relaxing 😉