What are you afraid of?
The dark?
Cramped spaces?
Getting old?
Getting sick?
Falling down?
Spiders?
Mice?
Being the victim of a crime?
The list is endless. But are they really fears or worries?
To me real fear is more serious than the worries I’ve listed above, but those do all concern me.
My fear is deeper.
It’s a fear many deny having.
May not know they have.
It’s the fear of our “social face” slipping. Our ego. How we want the world to see us.
What if we’re embarrassed and found to be lacking?
Maybe it’s just me, but I doubt it.
I think most of us are afraid of being criticized for who we really are. I think most people are beige-ing themselves down so they don’t stand out. Don’t make waves.
Because if we don’t…we’re vulnerable. Vulnerable to criticism. Vulnerability is scary.
It’s really tough to put one’s true self out there. In this online world, when you have a public presence larger than friends and family, you’re even more vulnerable.
We may start expressing ourselves honestly. But as we brush against subtle criticisms and disapproval, we’re slowly conditioned to go with the flow. Not be original.
Now perhaps everyone doesn’t want to be original. They’re more comfortable just being one of the crowd.
I’m not, but I think I’ve been stripping the real me out of this blog. I’m worried I’ve been beige-ing myself down because I’m afraid the real me, may offend or not measure up. (I say beige-ing is a word:)
WTF is that about Jennifer? At 59, that’s a pretty dumb thing to do. Life is too short to worry about what the “popular kids” think. Isn’t it?
So how about you? What are you afraid of?
Style Your Day Beautifully,
Have been the same way, but like you through blogging I am finding my own voice and my own style. I have a long way to go to being fashionable. That’s another story.
Being popular is not something that we can “become”…or at least I don’t think so. We can change and try to fit in but in the end we are what we are. SOOO, even if, like me, you are not as sparkly as you would like to be, you can in fact be the best Jennifer there is around.
We want to know you! We do not want to know the person you think we want to know.
b+
Oh I love this, especially the beige-ing! I’m afraid of not having lived. Yuck, don’t go there. Seems like we’re on a similar wave-length. I’m 59 as well, and I feel like I’ve been holding back too. Hence my inner Jane Bond. New hashtag #nobeige. xx
Well, you’ve just given us a new word: BEIGE-ING! Simply splendid, Jennifer. This is a perfect word, very expressive and we all “get it.” One thing for certain, I am not beige, and neither are you! No one in our group is BEIGE!!! Tally ho !!!
Lordy knows you’re not gonna see me beige-ing down. Well, not yet anyhow. I can’t speak for what the future holds.
After getting back from NY and visiting all those amazing women, Sue Kreitzman who actually said, “Don’t wear beige! It can kill you!” is right. Be unique, be bold, be wild. Will you lay on your death bed and think, “I wish I’d fit in more.”
I decided a long time ago I’d rather be memorable than one of the crowd.
I am afraid of getting old and not being able to care for myself or have any personal dignity left.
That along with snakes and spiders. LOL
bisous
Suzanne
http://www.suzannecarillo.com
BEIGE `~ING………well as YOU LIVE in my BACKYARD ALMOST you know I have ZERO BEIGE about me!Love the word however……..aren’t YOU clever!
My fears are over on my BLOG as well.I do believe DISCONNECTING to be my worst FEAR……….what if I took a break from ALL this CHATTER.How would I STEP BACK IN?
My fears, hmm, I’m an anxious person and worry a bit about things, well perhaps a bit more than a bit, but there’s not a lot I actually really & truly fear. Anyway, was interested in that you feel you’ve been a bit beige in your blog! Wasn’t aware of that but if that’s the case I so look forward to more of the real Jennifer!! In the meantime, yes I feel we must be ourselves as much as we can – and never ever be beige! Great pic of you in the hat, btw!
What a brilliant observation Jennifer and a great take on our BIO subject this month. I do think that many of us tone ourselves down for our blogs because of the reasons you have stated….. I’m sure that I have that fear and I’m 64 !!!! Perhaps we should be braver, let our fears go and open up a little. XXXX
Your words hit home for me. I have been stuffing my authentic voice down out of fear. Thank you for your honesty.
I agree. No beige here at all. I hope you and I can spend an evening out together, talking more. Next time I’ll have that glass of wine.
I had to really think hard at this because initially I fear nothing. Upon deeper thought, I fear the death of my father and how I will handle it. I also fear chronic pain…I can not imagine living with chronic pain. And my worse fear is not me dying alone, but one of my loved ones dying alone, in pain, suffering, without anyone…a bit morbid.
I love this Jennifer and the word beige-ing is brilliant. Definitely something to think about, but the real you…perfection!!
Much of my 20s and 30s were spent with people, husbands, boyfriends, etc who critisized who I really am and it IS something to fear. It was awful and I did not get to really be me until I was approaching 40. As a successful artist who took risks to get where I am, I say phooey to the popular kids. They are often popular because they don’t stand out. Failing to have the courage to be your real self is something I think we should be afraid of…oh,and mice.
Here’s to authenticity. Here! Here! And myriad bright colors to our liking.
This is so interesting and I have read some of the other responses Jennifer. For me I believe it is not touching enough lives and making a difference while I am here. Treasuring family and friends more and giving of myself; having any regrets in that area of life.
xoxo
Karena
The Arts by Karena
Wonderful Jennifer…I have found myself wrestling with the same issues…I have attached an article I received earlier today that deals with this very issue of inner criticism…what I call my inner critic and what Julia Cameron calls our inner censor…
http://spiritualityhealth.com/articles/how-become-stalker-your-own-mind
I am also currently reading “Taking the Leap” by Pema Chodron that deals with this same inner dialogue…obviously the universe is sending me a loud message.
Love, peace and joy
Peter
For someone who’s survived more than you can imagine… including breast cancer and a kidnapping, I’m afraid of dying by myself. BTW, as far as I know, I’m healthy and will be here for decades to come, but when my time comes, I want someone to be in the room with me. xoxox, Brenda
Hmmm. What am I afraid of? Waste…. not garbage. Not that kind of waste. Not wasted money either. I am afraid that I will have wasted time and not have achieved anything with my life. That’s partly because I did waste a lot of time when I was younger; I wasted a lot of my twenties doing things that I regret. Not getting on with more important things. Teaching was a wonderful job and I feel like I achieved what I wanted to do with that part of my life, even if I started late. And now that I’m retired I don’t want to waste this time. But I haven’t yet figured out what I want to achieve, either.
And I know what you mean about “beige-ing”… it’s one reason why I stopped attending one of my book clubs. Too beige. And I acted beige when I was there… and it took me a long time to figure that out. Now I attend a different book club. A not-beige one. Much more raucous, and not as polite, but the discussion is a lot more interesting.
The Jennifer I have been honored to know this past year is not beige….bring her on!!
To be honest, I’m not afraid of much. Well, spiders, and being eaten by a bear in the wild, bad stuff happening to me. Those are my only fears. AT this point in life I have no fear of being me. In fact, I can’t be anything BUT me!