How Do You Become An Old Lady?
Several months ago I decided to reveal my age and shift my focus to being an “Over 50 Blogger”. I was already a Lifestyle blogger, so throwing another category into the mix seemed harmless.
I hadn’t been hiding my age, I just hadn’t thought it was relevant to my readers. The flood of (presumably young) unsubscribers, proved me wrong.
I made the shift for several reasons.
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- I’d become a grandmother.
- My husband began thinking about retiring.
- I’d resigned myself to being referred to as ma’am, whether I liked it or not. I don’t.
- I noticed every skin care and beauty product aimed my way had anti-aging in the name. Which infuriates me.
- I lost 15 pounds and Every. Single. Pound. seemed to come off my face. You’ve heard the adage, “at a certain age, a woman must choose between her ass and her face”. Delightful…and sadly true. It added 10 years to my face but my clothes fit so much better. An improvement? I’m not certain.
- I don’t care what’s hip anymore and realize just using the word hip…proves I’m not.
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- I realized that unless I live to the ripe old age of 118, I’m past middle age.
- And bingo, just like that, being a Baby Boomer seemed important.
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And now for some random musings:)
I looked up the term, A WOMAN OF A CERTAIN AGE and was surprised what I found.
The Urban Dictionary says it refers to a woman who doesn’t want to state her age.
“The phrase was popularized in a 1979 book by the psychotherapist Lillian B. Rubin, “Women of a Certain Age: The Midlife Search for Self,” in which midlife spanned 35 to 54.
And now to the point: is that certain age getting older?
“When I wrote the book in 1979,” Dr.Rubin said, “the ‘women of a certain age’ were in their late 30’s and early 40’s. I think that has changed with the baby boomers and the lengthening of the life span. I’d say the ‘certain age’ has now moved to the age of 50 or 55.”
My guess is that the age scale has slid even higher now. After all, I’m 58.
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Last week, my grandson and I were getting down to earth. Discussing dirt. He’s not speaking a language that I understand completely, but is chattering his little heart out with great enthusiasm that delights me, no end.
If you’re a grandmother you may find this cute. If not, sorry, bear with me. It gives me incredible delight to watch this little man grow and develop.
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It was right after my shift to Over 50 Blogging that my email and blog got hacked. Connection? I don’t know. The hacker creep even mentioned my age in his extortion emails! As though I was a pathetic, incompetent, old lady he could take advantage of! That really torqued me, but I digress.
Does the term “old lady” bother you?
It doesn’t bother me at all, so long as a derogatory adjective isn’t added to it like dumb, silly, crazy, nutty, etc.
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Another little video of my grandson “reading” his favorite book.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXkkfJqa54I
Becoming this little man’s Granny has had an enormous effect on how I feel about my age. I’m embracing it more than ever and recognizing the wisdom I have to share.
Are you a Baby Boomer?
Well I guess I fit right in!!
67 and a great grandmother of a gorgeous little girl she’l be 5 at the end of the month,
Primary caregiver for my disabled son 34 years old, projects projects,
Never too old to have fun, and I enjoy being an old lady.
You have a wonderful attitude Jo!!
I am a baby boomer age 68. I do not feel “old” and exercise daily and follow a healthy eating plan. My body has certainly changed but I do not believe that you need to ” feel old” as you travel thru life. I believe that attitude and an enthusiasm for what tomorrow brings are important. I learn something new every day and look forward to tomorrow’s adventure.
I agree! My body may feel creaky and sore at times, but my mind never feels old.
Hi Jennifer
Absolutely devoured your blogs. I’m 70 now & I went thru a depression for awhile. After coming across your lovely dissertations on aging & wonderful helpful hints I feel so good! Thanks doll I’ll be in touch.
Hi Susan,
I’m so glad you’re here, welcome!! Please share your voice here. We all learn from each other. Cheers!
I’m a 67 year old Baby Boomer who’s eagerly anticipating the birth of my first grandchild in June. Age doesn’t really matter to me, I just want to be healthy to be able to enjoy the fun times ahead with her (yes, it’s a girl!)
Being labeled an “old lady” would bother me because I certainly don’t consider myself old, just wise and full of experience. I have to admit I fortunately haven’t had some rude person view me as invisible. Instead, people of all ages seem to recognize my age by holding doors for me and allowing me to exit an elevator first. Whatever the reason, my age is working well for me right now, and I’ll take it!
I’m sure you’re having fun in Nashville, but looking at the weather I’m wondering how fashionable one can look in long johns! Maybe that was the origin of the layered look…
…and bravo to you for saying your age! As someone who has just turned 50, I’m beginning to think about things a bit differently myself. This eternal quest for youth so many women seem to be on has given me pause for reflection. If I look my age, is that a bad thing? I am my age. I’m not advocating letting oneself go, by any means, but suggest that endlessly striving after what one is not and can never be again, is a fruitless waste of time (and money). Why do we women do this to ourselves? This is not healthy, mentally, physically or spiritually. I, for one, have better things to do with my time and money.
Saying my age out loud doesn’t bother me one bit. I’m proud of it! A lot of water has passed under my bridge to give me the wisdom I have. There is nothing wrong with looking my age…I just want to look healthy and vibrant.
Amen to that!
Hi Jennifer, I loved this discussion, so many wonderful ladies and answers. I literally laughed my (behind) off when I realised that this is one of the only choices I have left! At the moment le derrier is winning. Right I am gonna have a bit of a rant – the thing I really object to, I live in a very small town, not a very affluent area, and I love to wear my nice clothes, bags makeup etc, great you might think, however, a lot of women in this area seem to label me Mutton dressed as lamb! (I am 52!) I dress appropriate, no cleavage, no short skirts, see through stuff etc, and try to emulate my version of french chic, but I get absolutely slated for trying, sigh, I know these people do not matter, but its hard enough staying positive whilst going through menopause, and mourning my ever changing face and figure, right rant over! Thank you. Suzie.
Thanks for sharing your rant! It sounds like you’re dressing to please yourself, which is the right way to go. Their complaints are just their own insecurities showing. They’re jealous or unsophisticated or mean. Either way, I’d ignore them, best you can.
I feel so lucky that this is the first post of yours I read! I’m attending the BAM conference and wanted to see who else would be there–what a treat to find this. I’m 58 and never think of myself as old. (my neck disagrees, but that’s not my problem) Thank you for a wonderful glimpse into what we all feel.
Kimberly
http://www.fiftyjewels.com
Necks are an issue. Fun to see you’ll be there. Let’s meet for dinner.
What a delightful piece! You are funny being honest or honestly funny…just really spot on! I’m way past boomer age at 70 but don’t consider myself an old lady yet! At least in the negative use of the phrase. Senior discount and grandma to five…he’ll yea. But I can Zumba with the young ones and ride my bike and climb Stone Mt so I’m not oldish or even a lady for that natter! HA dressing for BAM will be a challenge. Great writing and insight, Jennifer!
You look terrific!! Are you going to BAM? I have no clue what I’ll wear, but it will be with comfortable, flat shoes:)
Definitly senior discount time. We got discounts at all the national parks on our Motorhome trip because my husband is 64!!
Jennifer I adore you and I wish we could have a visit and drink wine together while we chat. Your grandson is so adorable and seeing him always cheers me up, this is the true, good stuff of life.
I guess I’m not a baby boomer because I was born in 1970. Still, I’ll be 45 this year and glad of it. The years going by, that’s success, I don’t mind getting older one single bit. Actually I like it.
xox
I hope we will get to share that wine and chat one day Dani!! Really I do. Age is in our attitude and actions. I feel about 25…until I pick up something too heavy and throw my back out 🙂 Aging has such great privileges…one being the confidence to tell it like to really is. xo
Well, well, well. How serendipitous! You published this post on my 63rd birthday. I generally translate “une femme d’un certain âge” as you don’t ask and I won’t tell, but I find great comfort and joy in embracing my age. Welcome to the Club, my dear friend. Remember………you’ll always be five years younger than I, and I love hanging around with youngsters.
Great post, as usual. I can’t believe there were those silly enough to “unsubscribe.” I guess there’s no accounting for taste. BTW, yours is impeccable.
Cheers, M-T
You don’t look older than me, act older than me or think older than me…that’s what really counts.
Loved your last post!!
xo
Funny about women and age. Neither my mother or grandmothers ever said their age out loud in my lifetime nor would anybody have ever asked them. It just wasn’t done then. When I was a boy, I’d always ask my mother and she’d always say ’29’ which is a running joke that continues to this day!
I think it’s a generational thing. When seem to love announcing their age these days…it’s a badge of honor. xo
We’re the same age, so I’m definitely a baby boomer. No sense hiding it. I have three little grandchildren that are so much fun to watch develop. We just celebrated the youngest’s first birthday this afternoon.
I read something somewhere about an 87 year old woman who was so active her children could hardly connect with her. Her advice was to never start a sentence (or thought) with “at my age” and to live each day as if one was 40. Sounds like great advice to me. Let’s life each day with gusto and enjoy the blessings of the years – like those cute grands.
I’m a fairly new subscriber and I hope you gain many more.
Welcome Lorrie! Other than the aches and stiffness, I feel the same as I did when I was 30. Well, maybe a bit wiser:) That does sound like great advice. 40 was a very good year.
How do you become old? Well the last blog I read described a gents visit to his local village theatre. He was sat next to an ‘old’ lady dressed in leopard print who snored and slumped in her chair. He wondered if she were dead.
So snoring and slumping is the answer.
Perfect Anna! My husband swears that I snore, but I think he’s wrong! I better work on my posture though:)
“slump” is a serious problem! Look at pictures of yourself!
I saw pics of me at Grandparent’s day…..at Thacher school…..serious slumping!
Pilates teacher alerted to deal with immediately!
Serious older problem!!!
Penelope
The slump is happening to me!! I must get myself back to yoga or try pilates. I’ve been told pilates is the very best for posture!!
Now that you’ve lost subscribers I wish I could subscribe twice! Hey, you’re a kid compared to me. I adore being a grandma and would get furious with Oprah when she would describe clothes as granny clothes. I thought I was the oldest blogger on earth at 72. Now I’m 74 and I could care less. I’m lucky to be alive and enjoying myself. Of course I shouldn’t even be writing because I’m shivering with a fever. Flu? Virus? Who knows. I’ll be back. I can’t make it to Bam but I may go to Blogher in New York. My daughter wants to go to NYC with me. Let’s try and hook up!
I hope you’re feeling better soon Sandra! I wanted to go to BlogHer. I love NYC, but I’m already committed and scheduled for a Chopra retreat in southern CA for the exact same time:(
Just you wait!
When you next turn around; he will be 18 or 16, or 6 feet tall plus!
I reveled in my grandchildren….still do! They are now all but one taller than I am and two about to go off to college!
One (who is about to go off); called me 12 years ago…..and left this message: “Granny; can I come over to play today? Mommy says you might have a meeting!”
Thank God I cancelled my attendance at that meeting and victoria came over to play that day! We saw the chickens; we fed the chickens….and she tried on my clothes!
she is 18 and on her way to college……..yowzers….it is so fast it makes your head spin!!!
Yowzers! Sandra I discovered your blog recently…..and I sent it to a friend up here who has been best friends with Yvette mimieuix for life; and I forwarded it to her. She called Yvette and Yvette will not do “computer stuff”; my friend convinced her she will love seeing these pictures….I am sure there will be follow up!
Computers can do wonderful things…..just like anything else….downsides exist!
I bet you get a thank you note! (my friend was friends with Yvette in those days…..early twenties…..I am sure it will bring great joy to see those pictures for Yvette!)
Have you sent them to Albert Finney? He would love them immensely also!
We live our lives….we had no way of sharing things like your great photos of that moment in all of your lives!
Now we do!
It is a gift!
Thank you soo so much!
Penelope
ps can I subscribe by email?????
ps Their “early twenties” Not “The early twenties!” Yvette and my friend Trish were not born yet!
Fascinating about the computer!
I just hired REALLY young (well; not twelve) people to redo my website….I am happy with it…I LOVE them!
She said to me; “we are ‘digital natives'” Makes total sense!
I am not, at 67 , a “digital native” in fact, I am a complete illegal immigrant….who barely speaks the language!
Interesting, isn’t it???
ps don’t get mad at Oprah! She is my next-door neighbor on two sides…..and she is the loveliest most amazing woman. She just doesn’t want us to ‘LOOK” like Grannies….and you don’t; and I hope I don’t!
She means it the most loving way! Oprah is walking talking love …..the positive energy she radiates is astonishing.
I have a little blog. I have to write a post about when I first met her “over the fence” in my chicken coop! I started it! I said “HI”!!!
to be continued…..so so embarrassing……
First off, that top picture of you is beautiful. Happy to join you in the over 50 crowd and so excited how many of us there are online. I do not like the term “old lady”…in my mind I see a crotchety, cranky, aging woman, waving a cane and screaming at people! I am an older, vibrant, strong, and joyful woman laughing and working hard through life. I hope there is nothing old and stodgy about what i do! I just want to be referred to as a strong woman….no matter my age! See you soon in Nashville!
Stodgy is out!! I can’t picture anyone thinking of you that way!! Excited to see you in Nashville!!
I am 65 and continuously surprised by that number. I don’t look at many blogs by those younger than 40. Just as some of the younger bloggers may not be interested in a 50 plus blog I am not interested in a 20+ one. This is fine by me. There are lots of us out here who are keen on reading about life style, fashion and fitness for our demographic. A lot of the same info the 30 plus are getting but they don’t need to know that. No grandchildren as yet but fingers crossed. Just as we loved learning about all things child centered when we were young mothers it is time for us to learn about grandparenting as well. All stages of our lives benefit from attention paid. Keep on keeping on! We’re out here.
You’re so right Mary! I’m happy to find more media attention focus on our demographic. I’m not ready to hang up my “chic” yet:) Grand parenting is so very different, and rewarding. It’s makes up for all the crap my kids put me through!!