How to Decide Where to Retire
My husband retired a couple years ago and we’ve been on the hunt for where to live ever since. We bought a trailer to see the sights but mostly to visit towns and see what we liked. To be honest, we have spent more travel time vacationing in our trailer, but we do consider every town for it’s potential.
As background, 
Here are a few important things we’re keeping in mind as we look for the “perfect” place to retire if such a place exists.
Proximity to good medical care
The older we get, the more likely we will require medical care so it needs to be top notch and easily accessible. Living in a remote place with a podunk clinic that may necessitate being medevaced out for emergencies, is not our idea of smart.
Accessibility to big box stores
We buy many of our staples at Costco, Target and other big box stores. It saves money and makes life easy. Living too far from those stores means we will pay more for what we need and settle for less than what we want.
Crime rate
The older we get the more vulnerable we become so the crime rate is important. I don’t want to feel unsafe heading for my car in the evening when leaving a grocery store.
Climate
The older we get the less tolerant we are of weather fluctuations. Extreme heat, high humidity, freezing rain and constant clouds are not our idea of fun. A temperate climate without massive swings in temperature is high on our list. That said, we do love the change of seasons.
Cost of living
Living on a fixed income that isn’t adjusted for increases in the cost of living mean we want to live where our dollar goes furthest. Traveling in our trailer we have seen gasoline swings as much as $2.00 a gallon!
Cultural and recreational resources
Our idea of retirement is not sitting on the couch watching endless hours of television so we want to live in a place with options for both entertainment and physical activity.
Proximity to family and loved ones
The older we get the more precious our time spent with loved ones becomes. Our daughter lives in Canada and our son lives in the Sacramento area. It would be so much simpler if they lived closer together.
We’ve visited quite a few small towns in the last 2 weeks and ruled most out because they didn’t meet enough of our criteria. It’s hard to say with certainty which of these is most important so we judge each location individually.
What do you think most important when deciding where to live in retirement?
Thanks for reading ladies and have a great day!
We have lived in the same small town on the Canadian prairie for over 40 years. Since retirement, we too have been considering whether or not to stay here or move elsewhere. Like you, we’ve spent some time in our trailer this summer exploring other possibilities. Unfortunately, I was diagnosed with an incurable cancer five years ago and we feel the need to remain within reasonably close proximity to the cancer centre where treatment is available. That limits our search area significantly because my cancer is rare and treatment is only available in one place in western Canada! We presently live approximately two hours away. Other considerations for us include the availability of senior care, which is very limited in our present location, and proximity to a good, affordable golf course which we presently have at the end of our street! Decisions, decisions… not easy to make!
I’m sorry you’re desking with that Elaine! Everyone’s situation is unique and we need to do what’s best for us.
I’d like to add there are real benefits to living in a University town. Much more diverse, educational opportunities for seniors. etc. I live in a temperate area (KY) so enjoy the seasons-fall is stunning here, and winter not that long. To me friends are a vital part of growing older too–the kids are mobile and can move around. I’d never move to be close to my kid, as then she would get another job and move on. The unhappiest most discontent people I know did that…
With a one story house and a good community, I’d be happy. There is always the possibility to move one more time to senior assisted living or personal care that they have here. Assisted living is quite independent, personal care is where meds can be administered, and then nursing home if we get beyond that. At that point I probably wouldn’t care much anyway. Sounds cynical but I put in 10 years caring for my Mom and now we are both caring for his Dad, who had to move here from FL.
That’s not fun Susan. My parents both died very young but needed help in the end. A university town has great benefits. My parents both lived in assisted living before my dad needed nursing care. My mom fought it all. My dad accepted it gracefully. Hang in there
I live where there are mountains of snow to shovel in the winter. It’s still too early to tell where our only child will land. He is about to start university in the fall. If we stay here, which is where all my family lives, I think we’ll relocate to a place where snow is taken care of — a condo. My husband can work remotely for his job. We think it might be best to relocate before retirement. So much to think about, and so much still uo in the air. It’s too early to decide.
At the moment, my parents ard frail and elderly. Someone asked about moving in with a mother with dementia. I would not do that. Before long, they need 24-hour care, and caregivers must be hired. I would sell her house, and use that to pay for her care in a dementia care facility. Many people don’t realize how difficult dementia caring is, and that hired caregivers often do not show up for work, or that you can never go on a holiday. It can also be very hard on the caregiver’s health, marriage, family life and friendships. It sounds very noble until you live the 24-hour grind. Don’t think siblings will lend a hand, either. Care home exist because they are needed.
Thank you so much for sharing that! Dementia care is serious business and quickly requires a professional facility. There is so much to consider about where to retire.
I moved from a one story house in a mild climate, to a one story house in a retirement community in a hotter climate in Sacramento California. The two things that are missing is walk ability to shops/ stores/ parks, and mild climate. I find living where people get sick and pass away at a greater rate than a normal community concerning, the topic of who “can” drive is common. So living closer to a more mixed age community, I would consider an advantage. I’m still working, and enjoy being around all ages, I may not retire, as I work for myself. Things to consider.
I hear you Eileen!
Forgot to add – friends too are close by.
My list included:
No big city -too much noise, too much traffic, too much stress ( I want to be able to drive well into my old age)
Low crime rate (high on list)
Close to hospital (✔️)
Close to ocean (it’s my zen place) ( love to boat)
Lots to do (✔️)
Enough shopping to suffice (big box stores such as Home Depot, Costco, etc)
Weather ( no or very little snow, no high humidity, etc.)
We found everything we wanted in our community by the Sea. I do miss some of the bigger clothing stores but then I would only buy more stuff that I don’t need since I’m not working. The rain in the winter sometimes gets boring but it’s still better than snow. The trade off is we don’t have the hot, humid summers and the mosquitoes coming out in the evening to drive you back indoors. My kids live nowhere close but that’s ok. We visit them and they love to come out for a visit to our laid back, beach community in the summer and/or to escape the snow at Christmas. We’ve travelled and lived around the world and know other lifestyles but this community meets all our needs. We couldn’t be happier with our home, neighbourhood and community. I hope you find yours soon!
Where are you?Joanna?
On Vancouver Island. You?
Great list Joanna! You’re so lucky to be settled where you’re happiest.
As a Canadian I’ve enjoyed reading all the choices/decisions re where to live when one retires.
I live in a major city on the west coast and nearing 70 – still working a few days a month and currently will be staying put. We live in a house. We have a change of seasons here – good weather – access to excellent medical care – which unfortunately is needed right now re my husband – 5 min drive to downtown. Enough big box stores – that I don’t go to – within a 5 min drive. Community centres close by – either can walk/drive. Can walk fortunately or drive to some small shopping areas. The bus is 1 block away. Relatives are either a 20 min drive away or a short plane ride. US relatives are scattered throughout the states. I visit the ones in Washington. Either drive or take bus/Amtrak. Mexico/Hawaii are short enough flights if one wants a change in the winter. When housing prices skyrocketed here we did think of perhaps selling and moving to the Island – cheaper homes – but what would have been the real benefit of moving. Yes we would have extra $ for sure but what else.
You sound very happy with your choice Rose. You live in a gorgeous spot. We loved the pace of life on Vancouver Island but had a very unfortunate experience with the medical care which nearly cost my husband his life. We do have a great fondness for the PNW so are keeping our options open.
I found this topic of real interest as I read of couples retiring. Jenifer your list is a great start; however, being a few decades older and alone; I’d like to add a few things to your list:
a. being able to keep an independent lifestyle
b. being close to a major airport (trips to Canada via air instead of driving)
c. becoming part of the community (i.e., making friends, volunteering, etc….hugely important as one gets older.)
d. staying very near children & grandchildren; the quickly passing years make proximity essential; especially when you need each other.
Thank you for expanding the topics from fashion & styles to life’s larger issues; it’s a great forum & quite helpful.
Those are excellent points Marlene. Thanks for sharing them. The fact is many women out live their husbands and need to think about that. If I were single I think I’d feel quite differently about where I’d want to be.
We live in Bowling Green, Ky. It’s a university town about 50 miles north of Nashville. My husband took a job here in 1980, when we were living in Louisville, to join and help open the Corvette plant. We have raised two kids and have loved it. We have theaters, restaurants, rivers, lakes and creeks. Great medical care and if we need more specialized care we can travel to Nashville in less than an hour. We have big box stores, little boutiques, and caves, too. We have four seasons which fall and spring are our favorites. Western University has a beautiful campus and lots of amenities for the public and is very active in the school systems and community. We have a son and grandkids here and a daughter in Nashville. If our son were to move, we would still stay here. I’ve heard of so many people moving to be near their children and then the children up and move through a transfer or whatever. We have many friendships and are active in church. We love it here!
I’ve heard the same stories about people who move to be near their children who then leave. It reminds me that each day needs to be taken as it comes.
Hi Jennifer! My husband retired several years ago and while he waited for me to finish working started researching where we would retire. My two children are in California; one in LA & daughter with 4 children in San Diego. While we had the same list as yours, we often remembered the wise words of a dear Aunt, “Nothing is perfect”. With that in mind, we sold almost everything in NY and moved to a golf/tennis resort community in Palm Desert, California. Cost of living is a bit less than NY; close to great shopping; very walkable; excellent medical care. One negative is the hot summers. We are close to the grandkids & have escaped the weather traveling to San Diego every other week; a good respite & we get to help our daughter out. Going forward we plan on traveling during the hot months. When I retired from 25 years as a librarian in NY one of my gifts from my wonderful colleagues was a plaque saying ‘Home is where you’re needed most”. With 4 children under the age of 7 and a Navy Seal husband , our daughter really needed us. We think of it as our contribution to the country! If and when they move (which could be in 3 years) we’ll reset our compass & take it from there. With this move I unloaded so much “stuff” which was great; I let it go, as they say, and I’m ready for the next chapter,
That’s a great attitude Linda! I hate feeling weighed down by possessions. Sadly my husband does not feel the same. I’d be doing exactly what you’re doing if my daughter needed me!’
We are hoping to retire in two years, but may have to work longer due to finances. Our number one goal is to stay close to our children and grandchildren who live in the same town we live in. Our second goal is to to have access to good medical care and our third goal is to live in an area of town with a low crime rate. Summers are extremely hot where we live, but we are not willing to move away from our children for a better climate. We also don’t want to retire and sit at home watching television. We like to spend time with family and we want to be able to be able to afford to continue eating out a couple of times a week. We have a trailer and it is important to us that we can afford to maintain it and travel on monthly trips to the coast or mountains and take twice yearly longer trips to see National Parks. If one of our children move, we will stay in the town with our other child and grandchildren and use our trailer to visit the other child and grandchildren as often as possible.
That sounds like a great plan Lori. We love traveling in our little trailer too so that needs to be worked into our budget.
For me, friends and continued professional involvement are an important factor as well. I am retiring in stages – or as my friends and I say “it is preferment” – doing more of what you like to do and are good at. My husband and I love to travel and take trips with our kids, friends and family a few times a year. We also love being involved with our grandchildren and going to their games and activities. We are looking at selling our home and moving to a condo in the next couple of years – one floor living is very appealing. I think not taking anything for granted and being grateful for each day is so important to a happy retirement.
You’re exactly right Katie! Each day is a blessing. I’m not against a condo but my husband is.
Near a major airport (no more than ~ one hour travel time) is on our list. We currently live more than two hours out. Our friends and family are pretty scattered and the distance to the airport seems to add at least half a day to the time it takes to get to them.
That’s a great point about the airport. We’ve always lived within an hour of one and hated the drive at that!
Enjoy all your thoughts. My husband is 74 and I just turned 70. We own a home in Brenham, Tx. It is a two story home but we have everything we need on the bottom floor so we are good. We also own a farm about 35 mins away where we also have a home. We raise cattle with our children who also live close by so that is my husband’s outlet and all we need to do is to stop and get a few groceries and we can stay there is we want. I work 16 hrs. a week. The one thing we know that we won’t always be able to do is the yard care that a home requires. We are 45 minutes away from good doctors and hospitals. Although we do have fair care in our town but for anything major it is to go 45 minutes away. We have our church where we are both involved in things beside Sunday Services and friends here. Since I was sick at the end of last year made us think about our house which does not have handicap bathrooms but we have a plan that make that work with some minor renovations if necessary. Will I want to live in this big house if he were gone not sure about that. But will decide that when the time comes.
Thanks for sharing Elizabeth! It sounds like you’ve got a fabulous plan. I do know any choice we make needs to be flexible so I won’t beat myself up about needing it to change.
We are from Cincinnati, retired to Fl, adult community with a golf course for him, tennis for me. Your list is similar to ours. We live in a city full of theatres, art gallerys, concerts and restaurants. I unfortunately have needed medical care and I’ve had the absolute best. The one thing we found we just couldn’t meet on our list while having all our other wants was living near our 3 children. They are far spread from one another, they are vulnerable to transfers, they live in the cold! There are planes. I’m not one for long road trips. So that’s what we do. Another option is to rent a place near the kids for longer visits. A bonus living 15 minutes from the #1 beach in the US is the grandkids always want to come. We enjoy lots of family visitors. They hardest part is how fast the time is going – can’t seem to solve that one. This was a great move for us. Ben u years already. We are here until they have to come for us!
I’m sorry to hear you’ve had medical challenges but that struggle is real for many of us as we ago. I love how you’ve decided what works best for you.
This is an issue I think about often. Our children/grandchildren are spread out all over the states, so there’s no chance of being near all of them. It also seems crazy to move somewhere in the middle of them where we don’t know anybody. So with the help of this post and other ideas in the comments, I will make my criteria list and see how it goes. We have moved several times in our marriage for my husband’s career and while it’s sometimes challenging, I think it’s also made me more independent, courageous and creative. I think the main thing is once you make your choice, to make it work.
Thanks for sharing Stormy. I often need to refer to our list when we see something enticing that meets very few of them. It keeps me on track.
Oh my gosh; my husband and I feel like we are alone in this quest. Thank you, Jennifer, for talking about it. We live in downtown Chicago, which is perfect in every way except for winter and cost of living – can we make it work? Don’t know. Our other options are Galveston or Las Cruces – both very very different. We can’t decide around where his kids might live – but I know he wants to be close to them. I want some travel time thrown in as well . . . I’ll think about it tomorrow. 😉
You are not alone “Scarlett!! It’s a big decision.
We have children and grandchildren scattered up and down the east coast of the US and we see our early retirement years as seasonal migration! To faciliate the summers in Boston, the winters in Atlanta and spring/autumn in DC, we’ve “bought” a bedroom in each of their homes. Once we can no longer migrate, we’ve identified a community in Mexico where we can afford to live with assistance. So we’re learning Spanish now!
Brilliant Dorothy!!
Would love to know more about the Mexico option, Dorothy – where can I find info?
I think your list is excellent but would give a weighted average to proximity to either of your children/grandchildren. You can’t replace time spent with them plus as you age, being close to an adult child will be a big help.
I completely agree Suzanne.
I really appreciate your list, Jennifer. My husband & I are nearing retirement & are starting to think about where to live long term. In fact, we’re visiting Florida in September to check out a few areas to see if any of them appeal to us. We also have an RV, so we can plant ourselves in a spot for a while then move on if it doesn’t suit us.
The RV is a perfect way to check places out! Getting to know a place before you jump into it seems really smart to me.