Who Am I Without My Wrinkles?
Wow, when you remove all my wrinkles and expression lines I look scary. Sort of like a plastic version of who I might have looked like 40 years ago! But still not really me because I never had waxy looking skin.
I had some new headshots taken a couple of weeks ago. It was past time for new ones. Every photo I use now is a selfie or a group shot I’ve cut the rest of the group out of. I’ve been told that is fatal in the world of head-shots.
My last professional headshots are so old and scary, I don’t even recognize myself. Right before I had them taken, I’d gone in for a light body wave and come out with a perm!
And YES, that’s the last time I will ever have a body wave put in my hair.
Visions of me suffering through Mom’s kindly inflicted home perms still dance in my head. Do you remember those Toni perms? I would sit at the kitchen table, clamping a towel over my face, in a futile attempt to avoid the noxious fumes. The results were never flattering :)Why…I wonder, was baby fine, poker-straight hair unacceptable in the ’60s?
But I digress.
I’d asked the photographer to leave my wrinkles alone but if I had a big red spot somewhere obvious…go ahead and blur it out.
She tried some new software on a picture she sent for approval and it freaked me out! I need my expression lines! I can tolerate my chipped front tooth…although I’m getting that puppy fixed soon. I look weird with no crows feet, no smile lines, and no rings around my neck. It was bizarre.
Perhaps it was the sudden loss of character vs the gentle improvements I’m getting from drinking more water, wearing sunscreen, using Retin-A, and great skin products. There are a few more things I use on my skin…but that’s for another post!
It reminds me of the time I cared for my Mom after she had her facelift. She loved how she looked when the bandages came off and the staples came out. I thought she looked like a strange version of Linda Evans.
I remember she looked unusual for about a year. Then I don’t know if her face “settled” or I got used to seeing her look the new way. She looked terrific… but different.
Upshot…I’m not thrilled and joyous about my wrinkles but I am also not comfortable seeing them totally wiped off my face. I haven’t decided if I’ll ever have a nip or tuck done on my wrinkles, but to obliterate all expression is scary
Have you ever had a photo of yourself photoshopped? How’d you like it?
I had a flashback moment you mentioned Toni perms! I too have fine straight hair and my mother thought they were the best solution. The smell alone was scary, but one time the right side of my hair turned out much curlier than my left side! It took a long time for them to even out!
Good times! Haha!
Lol, those perm horror stories stay with us a long time!
Hi Jennifer, The “aging” face is an interesting thing. There are TWO kinds of wrinkles – dynamic wrinkles (caused over the years by movement of muscles) and fine wrinkles that make your skin look like crepe paper (caused by loss of collagen and elastin). Botox only treats one kind of wrinkle. You need to treat the collagen and elastin loss as well.
The reason people look strange with wrinkles photo shopped out is that they still have another major problem – drooping fat pads. Fillers can help by adding volume to the area where the fat pad used to be but the fat pad has still dropped. Only surgery can relocate fat pads back to a youthful location.
I have known several women who have had plastic surgery that, unless you had known them before the surgery, you would NOT know. The work was done by very skilled and very expensive surgeons. The people you notice are the people who have used less skilled surgeons.
If your turkey neck is bothering you, I would have that done in a heartbeat. That is one surgery that is almost impossible to mess up.
Smiles from Carol
Thanks, Carol! I also notice my wrinkles look worse the thinner I get. My skin is looking crepey too. I certainly don’t have the budget for a very expensive surgeon, but if I did I think I may have some things tightened up.Like my neck. But I worry it would look out of cinque with my face!
Oh, Jennifer – I’m SO happy to hear you have stick-straight, baby-fine hair, as do I. I, too, endured Tonette home perms when I was a kid – dreadful!! As an adult, I also permed and colored my hair until one day my stylist said it was time to pick one – curls or color. I ditched the curls and now have highlights and I’ve never been happier with my SHORT hair (loved it when it was long, in my teens and twenties, but then it just no longer looked good long….). I get my highlights about every 4 months, and then maintain them with L’Oreal EverPure Cleansing Balm, for color treated hair. Great stuff!
I am SO sorry to hear you’re enduring hair loss; thankfully, I’m not dealing with that….yet. I hope the Nioxin helps!
Now, with regard to wrinkles….I’m just a few years older than you are (I’ll be 64 in January), but fortunately, I don’t yet have a lot of wrinkles or crow’s feet (I think it may be my Slavic heritage that helps). But I’ve been proactive with my skin, too – I gently exfoliate morning and night, then mornings I apply serum, sunblock (at least SPF 35) and then whatever foundation I’m wearing that day. For work, this summer, I’ve kept it to a L’Oreal product whose name escapes me at the moment, but it’s an instant bronzer with SPF 20 in it. Love it! At night, I gently exfoliate again, followed by serum and retinol (I like the Neutrogena product).
Other than the exfoliation, my “secret” would be that I’ve never smoked, I drink alcohol only occasionally, and I drink a LOT of water. Exercise and diet apparently help, too; I’ve done both diligently since the start of the year (joined a gym and Weight Watchers), and the results have been pretty great, both in my body and my face.
I’ve never used Botox, although I’m intrigued by procedures to get rid of “chin fat.” Don’t know if I’ll ever go there, but I AM intrigued!
Love your blog – I’m fairly new to it (as a Chico’s customer, I was introduced to you in their “Inside Chic” blog), and I look forward to each of your posts!
Thank you for being here, Candy! It’s readers like you that make this such a great community. We share and learn from each other’s experiences. I’m not as careful about serums as I probably should be but have been on the subscreen bandwagon ever since my bout with melanoma! Water goes make such a huge difference, doesn’t it? I hope you’ll share with us often and thanks again for joining us.
Can’t say I have ever been photo shopped, nipped tucked, or filled, ( Lie I tried botox at 40 ) we wont go there !
think we learn to accept quite a lot as we get older and wrinkles are minor by comparison, I do remember the fumes and the rubber roller things and the papers lol, yours looked pretty good to me, I came out look like Micheal Jacksons ( the early years lol )
Love your blogs, love your attitude, Love Lyn xxxxx
http://www.thelavenderbarn.blogspot.co.uk
Hi Jennifer, I cannot contemplate surgery on my face but don’t berate those who do, it’s so entirely personal. You can always tell who’s had work and imho that ages you more than anything else, so to me it’s self-defeating. My eye bags drive me crazy but I’ve had them forever so they are just part of “me”. Acceptance is the road I follow, plus Retin-A, lipstick, sunscreen and a sense of humour.
Oh yes, I did perms in my twenties, and thirties too! Then in my forties I blew my hair out straight. The funny thing is I have a natural wave in my hair. For the last 7 years or so I have just let it mostly air dry and then use a diffuser on it. I get way more compliments on it now and it’s so easy.
I could never do any nips or tucks…maybe some light peels or something but nothing invasive. I think what cures me from even contemplating it is seeing all these celebrities that look like hell from too much plastic surgery. Even my sister had work done and she looks different now.
Linda
I’ll bet your sister is happy with her new look. I have a girlfriend with “Trout” lips, cheeky implamts and enough filler to sink a ship, and yet she thinks she look fabulous. Each to her own. I see many disasters but I think the good ones we don’t notice!!
Lucky you…having wave in your hair!!! Isn’t it funny how long it takes us to appreciate what we have:))? Thanks for sharing Linda.
You know, even though I now know how to totally photoshop wrinkles out of a photo, I wouldn’t do it for my own. Because, eventually, someone who saw the photo would meet you and the look of confusion on their face would tell all! Kind of like in online dating when someone clearly lies about their age. For now, I am at peace with my wrinkles. The belly fat is another story…
You brought back a lot of memories with this one…I use to give my mother perms…I can almost smell the stuff now! I began working on a video and was appalled when I saw myself…in my head, I am not that wrinkled….but the camera says otherwise. But, I would not want to look like one of the Real Housewives, so some how must learn to cope with the Real ME. I need to get a new head shot, but I think I need to avoid Photoshop and embrace who I am. I have been surprised at how many people say to me when they meet me OH YOU LOOK JUST LIKE YOUR BLOG! Does that mean a lot of bloggers don’t? I better keep looking real and avoid the touch ups. All of this was good food for thought.
What would we be without out wrinkles, laugh lines, scars, freckles, etc? I cannot imagine my face without them, it is what makes me me. Then again my income does not depend on my looks…
I love this post and all of the comments!
I think you look even better now. Those blank, youthful faces are so uninteresting. It’s always all about the eyes. Movie actors are always told that the camera will focus on the expression in their eyes more so than body language.
I can’t speak to the whole home permanent thing, since I have always had naturally curly hair.
The last time I had professional headshots done was in 2006 for my website. I had may hair dresser blow out my hair, and I did my own make-up. I asked him specifically NOT to “fix” anything, as I wanted to look “real” and totally myself. He did, however, remove a shadow on my neck in one shot caused by my hair, which I agreed to. If you look closely on one of them, you can see a scar on my arm, which I told him NOT to take out.
All the pictures on my blog are pretty much cell phone shots that somebody else took, and the only thing I have done w/a few of the darker ones was to lighten them, which is really quick and easy to do. Beyond that, I’m clueless about “fixing” photos.
I long ago made the decision not to have any cosmetic surgery or plumpers or fillers. I have had so much surgery in my life out of necessity, that the thought of going through all that for something not necessary does not thrill me.
Talk soon, my friend.
Cheers, M-T
While I haven’t had a professional head shot done – I did have my daughter who is such a good photographer take some pictures a few years. She tried color and black & white. Did a really good job. You look so cute in straight or curly hair. I smiled to see you posted on this topic the same day my purple clover piece on face wrinkles and the effects of gravity published. It’s been on both our minds apparently.
I am due to have a new head shot quite soon. I certainly want to keep my laugh lines etc. but may consider having a little photoshopping on my teeth. I have had them straightened but have two that are longer than the rest and can look dracula like in photos.
I haven’t tried Photoshop yet but I wouldn’t mind a little “tweaking” of my wrinkles in my next head shot or in reality. I do agree that to “erase” all signs of a long life would be a bit scary looking. We have all seen those women! But hey, if they are happy with their appearance, who am I to judge.
btw – Those Toni home perms were still going strong in the 70’s.
I hope Toni has been banned by now. Lord knows what we were doing to our lungs!
As I said, I’m not ruling out a nip and tuck myself, but it would be subtle, so as not to scare myself
I think photo shop is ok if you do it subtly and not too much…I guess same applies for plastic surgery. If its subtle and well done, it ok but never go over board. I think you look wonderful as you are but these are great pics too 🙂
Nora
http://www.jacketsociety.com
Thanks so much. These are old photo’s.
Great observation Nora. Subtle is best for any type of cosmetic intervention. Actual or photographic.
You know what I must do? Is whiten my teeth!
I did it years ago. Be careful and use desensitizing gel.