How to Use Fashion to Combat the Invisible Woman Syndrome
There’s a quiet frustration many women over 60 share…the feeling of becoming invisible. It actually has a name, called the Invisible Woman Syndrome. I call it a cultural blind spot. It can happen at work, in social settings, or even while shopping. It happens to me too often, and each time it feels both annoying and discouraging. The more I think about it, the more I realize that visibility isn’t just about age, it’s about presence. One of the fastest, most powerful ways to reclaim your presence is through your personal style, so let’s look at 6 powerful ways to use fashion to combat the invisible woman syndrome over 60.
Fashion Over 60 Isn’t About Dressing Your Age, It’s About Dressing With Intention
Society gives us too many messages suggesting that women over 60 need to tone it down. If you want to do that, great! But if not, know that you have the right to wear whatever makes you feel confident, alive, and expressive. Great style isn’t about youth—it’s about alignment. When your clothes reflect your personality, your mood, and your values, you naturally stand out.
Here are 6 powerful ways to dress to be seen, remembered, and respected—at any age, but especially over 60.
1- Embrace Color Like You Mean It
It’s no secret that I love to wear neutrals and am often seen wearing black. And while black may feel powerful and chic, wearing black head-to-toe can be a fast track to blending in. If your closet is a sea of neutrals, try injecting color strategically. Bold shades like cobalt blue, emerald green, lipstick red, or rich magenta are not only energizing, they command attention. Check out Easy Ways To Add Color To Your Wardrobe.
Style Tip- Pair a brightly colored blazer or coat with a neutral base. A red trench over an all-white outfit is unforgettable. Add a red lip to match and you’ve got instant impact.
2- Invest in Structure and Fit
Nothing says “invisible” like clothes that don’t fit. Baggy, shapeless clothing hides your body and your presence. A structured or well-fitting blazer, tailored pants, or a defined-waist dress instantly elevates your look and sends the message: I’m here and I know who I am. A great tailor? Worth their weight in gold.
Style Tip: Find a good tailor. Even mid-range clothing looks luxe when it fits properly. Men get things altered all the time, but women assume things should fit perfectly right off the rack! Don’t overlook structured shoulders because they instantly elevate your posture and presence. Dropped shoulders can look schlumpy and drag your look down. Also see What Length Should Your Pants Be?
3-Wear Accessories That Start Conversations
Accessorize like you mean it because they’re more than just decoration; they can be conversation starters. Unique accessories show your personality, tell a story, and keep the eye moving. Many of us have inherited accessories that no one else has. Bring them out and wear them with intention.
Style Tip: Trade your delicate necklace for a chunky, colorful one. Swap your beige tote for a leopard-print clutch. Try funky frames instead of invisible rimless glasses that have no “presence” on your face.
4- Say Yes to Signature Pieces
A signature piece becomes your visual shorthand, and people remember you because of it. Think of Diane Keaton’s hats or Iris Apfel’s oversized glasses…you know them because they owned their look. Whether it’s a leather jacket, a headwrap, or bold boots, signature style creates instant visibility. Brooches are another great option, as is a signature color. Be that lady in red or the one who is known for her unique handbags.
Style Tip: Start with one bold piece that feels “so you” and build outfits around it. Own it. Repeat it. Make it your thing.
5 – Mix Prints & Textures for Visual Interest
Prints and textures are natural eye-catchers that add dimension and personality to your outfit. Think leopard print, florals, plaids, brocade, velvet, tweed. These patterns naturally draw the eye, and when styled with confidence, they elevate your presence. I only have a few pieces of velvet, but I feel so fabulous whenever I wear it.
Style Tip: If prints feel intimidating, start with a printed scarf or blouse. Pair it with solid, structured pieces to balance the look.
6 – Choose Shoes That Let You Stride with Confidence
We talk about sore feet and comfy shoes a lot here on AWSL, and we can all agree that you can’t feel powerful if your shoes are killing you. Visibility starts with your posture and how you carry yourself, so choose shoes you can actually walk in. A confident stride is more stylish than any trend.
Style Tip: Opt for block heels, sleek ankle boots, fashion-forward sneakers, or elevated loafers. Comfort and style are not mutually exclusive.
You may also enjoy Best Comfortable Shoes for Spring for Women Over 60 and How to Make Your Shoes More Comfortable
Final Thoughts
I’ve had several readers mention their frustration about being overlooked and feeling undervalued, so I thought we should discuss it and share ideas to help support each other. Does the invisible women syndrome impact your life, and how do you dress to combat it?
As always, wear what makes you feel confident, and refuse to be invisible.
Great post Jennifer! Some days I like to be invisible and blend in (like at the gym)so I can get my workout done and get on with my day, but most days I do feel a little discouraged at the amount in invisibility that there is in the public once your of a certain age. Dining out and shopping are the two biggest areas where I see it occurring. Since I retired I am trying to adopt a minimalist approach to my wardrobe so I don’t buy many items now but rather look for things to work with my basics that are interesting and add color. Some of my favorites are items that were my mother’s. I have several rings that are both real and costume and I always get remarks on them when I wear them. Also a few scarves that add punch to my wardrobe. One is a leopard print and it matches so much it’s unbelievable. I enjoy your blog and look forward to reading my daily email from you.
Leopard print is so fun!
Jennifer, where did you find the beautiful purple blazer and the paisley scarf? They look terrific on you, and are the colors I love to wear!
They’re both from Talbots several years ago.
In my grad school days as an art and retail salesperson, I can vividly recall which customers we were told by mgt. not to approach in the store: Those that look like they don’t have any money. It wouldn’t surprise me in these polarized times if this is still the case in certain walk-in retail stores.
Wow! That would not be acceptable today.
Due to being only 5’2″, I have always had an invisibility issue. Now, at 75, I am careful to dress quite “grown up” — NO ruffles, bows, or puffed sleeves. And I am frequently dressed in colors such as red, burgundy, emerald, and sapphire with my dark neutrals. And for heavens sake, we must always remember our mother’s advice to stand up straight! That is step one to confidence, second is the smile. I always find I am treated better by doctors, sales people, bank teller, etc. when I am neatly dresses and made up.
It happens to me a lot. Especially when I am shopping (not for groceries). The customers that look “wealthy” get better service. Very frustrating. Thanks for your blog. You are right on.
Great topic today! I noticed the syndrome when in late 50s. I was fortunate to look much younger and was still working in ICU as a nurse. If I stopped into Dillards or Macys to pick up some Clinique I found that I was ignored. I would have to speak up that I was next to get waited on. It has been my experience that salespeople are the worst! Remember Pretty Woman? Julia Roberts got noticed dressed to the nines and then walked out on them. I buy online and don’t have to deal with salespeople ignoring me. Retailers should take notice. Our generation generally has more money to spend than a young woman just starting out.
Retailers need to know when their staff in inattentive which is why I always report it.
These are good tips, but I am not sure they’d help a lot in the situations that I am invisible. Connie is absolutely right about hair color, but I’m keeping my silver hair. Where I encounter the most invisibility, though, is not with people I want to meet. The key offenders currently are retail and restaurant staff and need I spell it out – M-E-N. Men often try to bulldoze by if you are waiting for a store bathroom, and don’t like getting in line. Being assertive and speaking up are all that works. To Memee: a few Talbots are like that. Call them out (‘do you work here’) or just make work for them … yes, it’s passive aggressive, but if you leave a load of tried on clothes in the cubicle, they may actually remember you next time, lol.
Yes!! I believe in being as assertive as necessary. I refuse to be ignored.
This is an interesting topic. I refuse to be invisible. I recall running along a city sidewalk on my lunch hour a few years ago, and encountering several women walking three abreast toward me. They made no move to yield half of the sidewalk. I braced my elbows and kept on going! I didn’t knock anyone over, but I did get their attention. Were they surprised that I didn’t just step into the gutter?
On the other hand, if one is not getting service, be a bit assertive and speak up. It can be done in a friendly tone, but there is no reason not to say, “I believe I was next!”.
I don’t allow myself to feel invisible, at 67. I agree that it’s important to stand up straight, look people in the eye, smile, and make an effort to connect with them, no matter what I happen to be wearing.
Still too young to shop at Talbot’s! 🙂
Bravo Julie. I had a similar experience on a sidewalk last summer.
Usually, I just stop in place — I’ve gotten surprised looks sometimes, but nobody has run into me yet.
When i was still working and probably in my 50s still, I was helping an older lady. I knew her mom had recently passed away so I asked how she was doing. Her answer was such a surprise, she thanked me for remembering because as she was in her 70s she felt invisible. I was so surprised because she was always so nice, pretty and had an artistic style. Now at 70 I do see what she meant.
I think it’s important to give compliments to each other. Yesterday a lady gave me a compliment and it felt great. I gave another lady that I saw on the street in her mid 70’s a compliment. She loved it. She looked absolutely gorgeous in her bright green sweater and her black shawl. We deserve to be recognized!
I agree!! Compliments are so powerful
I notice the “invisible woman” effect mainly when shopping for clothes. Sometimes I walk in a store (typically clothing) and can be in there for some time before any of the sales people acknowledge me or ask if I need assistance. Maybe that’s a good thing but at times it just feels weird especially when they are greeting and helping others. I dress casually stylish and lately loving the coastal grandma vibe….there is something freeing about wearing loose, comfy but stylish clothing. I let my hair grow gray about 7 years ago and wear it in a messy, spiky pixie. I do get lots of compliments on it but I can tell that sometimes when strangers look at me and see gray hair, they automatically think “old person.” I think it’s just a mixed bag out there….some people just see the old person and others see the person! Smiling helps too I’ve noticed….just makes us more approachable.😊
Great post! I do have funky eyeglasse frames and I get lots of compliments on them. I notice, too, that it the younger people that compliment.
Love this post. I find it so true, that feeling our best is vital in how we are perceived. Comfort first, and a bit of polish/style goes a long way. Finding that style and using it to make us FEEL even better, is great advice. Thank you! I learn a lot from you, Jennifer.
I am a women who loves colour ! I am recognized for it. When my red vegan leather moto jacket wore out my husband first asked if I needed to have a funeral for it, then asked if I needed to go shopping for a new one. When I have important meetings I show up in my vibrant jackets or blazers over neutrals. I stand out in the sea of black. In my out of work life I have started to experience the hidden woman, I don’t like that. It is especially bad in one particular clothing retailer in Canada. If I am dressed for work excellent service if I am casual I tend to disappear. Perhaps I will try some of your other suggestions in my casual attire! Thank you.
Also, project a confident smile, make eye contact, don’t cower from expressing an opinion. I live in a 55+ community and it is filled with older women who hang their heads, shrink into themselves, won’t say boo if a man is around. We matter in this world!
At age 75 I’ve had my fair share of feeling invisible. Especially after losing all my hair from chemo. I love all your great ideas about adding color and inherited jewelry. I need to find a more reliable tailor. Being petite is great but has challenges with everything being too long! Having a chic hairstyle and staying in shape has made me feel better about myself and people do notice that. Great post, thank you.
Thank you. I was just thinking of tossing all the beautiful, antique brooches I’ve collected over the years – maybe I’ll give them another chance.
I love a splash of color or wearing one statement piece, but I feel so out there in a world of younger ladies who all seem to wear clothes and style their hair like identical paper dolls.
Often we are overlooked not because of the clothes we wear but our age. Notice your daughter will be the one people zero in on no matter how well dressed you are, whether you wear a vibrant colour, unusual piece, etc. It is youth they notice, especially men of all ages.
Hi Jennifer,
I loved your piece today. It is full of excellent suggestions. I have seen many articles recently about invisible woman syndrome. It seems that most of them talk about becoming invisible as we get older. (Maybe I am just more aware of the stories about older women since I turned 70 in October.)
I do agree that the way we dress can contribute to either being seen or being invisible.
One memorable occasion of feeling unseen happened to me when I was “just” 30. My husband and I had just bought our first house. On a weekday when he was at work, I decided to take our 5 year old daughter to lunch at a local, fairly inexpensive, sit-down restaurant. I had spent the morning unpacking boxes and cleaning. I was wearing jeans – decent ones with no stains or holes – and a plain solid colored tee shirt. My hair was brushed, but the only makeup I had on was a bit of mascara. My 5 year old was dressed nicely and had her hair groomed. I certainly did not look shabby, but I also certainly was not dressed up. The hostess decided to seat me and my daughter at the very back of the restaurant next to the door to the kitchen. It was an out-of-the-way location. There were other unoccupied tables closer to the center of the restaurant. A server did take our orders in a reasonable amount of time. However, we never saw her again. She did not show up to ask how the food was. She did not ask about needing drink refills. The restaurant (a Frisch’s for those in -the -know) was famous for its hot fudge cake. It’s chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream in the middle, drizzled with fudge sauce. My daughter asked if she could have some for dessert. I told her yes. It was very unusual for us to go out to eat, but we were kind of celebrating being in our first house. We waited for a very long time after finishing our entrees. We never saw our server or any other server since we had been seated in a backwater. I eventually told my child that it looked like no one was ever going to come back. I told her we were leaving and that I would take her somewhere to get an ice cream cone. Needless to say, that server did not get a tip.
I have assumed for 40 years that my child and I were treated badly that day partly (or maybe entirely) because of my appearance. I had the impression that because I was not dressed my best, and I did not have a guy with me, the hostess assumed I was a poor, single mother who was not likely to tip well. Therefore, she seated us at the worst table in the restaurant. I suspect the server felt the same way and decided to only do the bare minimum. The affair still makes me angry 40 years later!
I would like to add one more thing to your excellent pointers. (Sorry this reply has gotten so lengthy.) Body language!! I have joked with my husband for 51 years about being invisible, though it really isn’t funny. I am a very shy, introverted person. I suspect that even though I always dress in contemporary, fashionable clothes that are usually in my signature bright colors, I carry myself in such a way that says “ignore me”. I think I have had imposter syndrome my entire life. I think I telegraph to strangers that I do not need to be paid attention to. I suspect a combination of posture, facial expression, not looking directly at people when I am waiting for attention, and other body language messages I send, tell people I am not important and can be ignored. In the past few years I have more often been able to speak up, act in a more assertive manner, and stand in such a way that says that I am worthy of attention. It does not feel natural to me at all, but I have noticed that when I act as though others should take note of me, they do! I think I have decided that as a person who has lived longer and gained some wisdom, I deserve a little attention. Invisibility is less of an issue for me at age 70 than when I was a young, pretty 20 year old.
Great topic. Posture is so important and you’re correct about your shoes. I, personally, know if my shoes are killing me, I walk slower and my gait is kind of limpy. So, finding shoes that support and still add style to an outfit is important.