Monday Musings: Knowing What’s Right For You
I spent a lot of time in dressing rooms last week. Maybe too much.
I came out finding the Spring trends all a bit… predictable. I’m reminded of the Miranda Priestly quote from The Devil Wears Prada…. “Florals? For Spring? Groundbreaking….” (by the way… I loved that movie, and can’t wait to see the sequel!)
And so while standing in yet another fitting room, staring at a puffed sleeve that had no business being in there with me, I had a moment of clarity that felt worth sharing.
The stores aren’t dressing you. They’re chasing trends, testing what sells, and moving fast. That’s their job. Your job is something different…it’s knowing yourself well enough that you can walk through all of it without losing the plot.
That sounds simple. But sometimes it isn’t. Because the sheer volume of what’s out there is designed to make you feel like you’re always missing something. A new silhouette, a fresh color story, a detail that’s suddenly everywhere. And if you don’t have a firm grip on what actually works for you, it’s easy to get pulled along. You come home with things that felt exciting in the dressing room and confusing by Thursday.
I’ve watched this happen to women with great taste and real style instincts. The problem usually isn’t that they don’t know what looks good. It’s that they haven’t fully committed to it. They hedge. They try on the trend just in case. They buy the thing that’s everywhere, and tire of it quickly.
The women I see getting dressed well aren’t necessarily buying the most. They’re buying the right things for them, even when that means walking out of a store empty-handed. Especially then.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not anti-trends. But I know sometimes I have to accept that what’s showing up in a season simply isn’t for me. Not because it’s bad. Just because it isn’t mine. There’s a real freedom in that once you stop fighting it.
A Little Home Refresher
And while I struck out at the spring clothing trends this week, I must tell you that Spring is not on the outs around here. I’ve adored my daily walks on the seawall, the gorgeous tulips and daffodils blooming, and the magnolia and cherry blossom trees.
At a home store this weekend, I noticed this pretty hanging woven basket, filled with faux hydrangeas. I absolutely loved it, and it came home with me to freshen up the living room. I found a similar look online that you can try if you are interested. I like the idea of refreshing it with the seasons, and while I’ve always loved flowers, I must confess that arranging bouquets is not my strong suit.
In our apartment here in Vancouver, there isn’t much room to keep seasonal decorations, so this is just perfect.
Another Book Recommendation
My daughter Vanessa has another book recommendation for you: This Book Made Me Think of You, by Libby Page. The main character, Matilada, has recently lost her husband to cancer, and on her birthday, she receives a call from her local bookshop. He has left her a book, each month, for the entire year! It is a really sweet story that follows her as she grieves and rebuilds her life. She rediscovers her love of reading and goes on adventures. It’s a true book lover’s book, with tons of book references and suggestions scattered throughout. It is a warm hug of a book! She gives it five stars.
As for me, I just finished reading The Briar Club, which she recommended a few weeks ago. I absolutely loved it. I loved how descriptive it was of each character, and I could feel them come alive as she delved into their lives in each chapter. It was a real page-turner, and I know quite a few of you enjoyed it as well.
Have a wonderful Monday, and thanks for being part of our community.
OMG..This is so true!!! Puff sleeve at 75….I don’t think so…Chicos has a beautiful coral rain coat…made for a 10 year old! I am a “2” in their sizing….I tried on a 2, 1.5 and 1….I still looked like I was going to my first day of school on a rainy day. The color is beautiful but the style is a little girls style. The sales person told me it is their best seller. Since, when does a store like Chicos who caters to 50+ women have a A-line Raincoat. I just needed a little salt and I could have been on the salt jar. Why not a slimming straight line coat. Who are they making this for?1?
thanks for your tactful funny letter about crazy ruffles on real people. I live in the Detroit area in MI and doubt I will see anyone in that stuff that is older than 20 and out on a date.
I really enjoy your newsletters-am a fairly new reader …because of you I have purchased a couple pieces that you modelled. I am already an Eileen Fisher fan and have appreciated the brand a lot this year. CHEERS Keep writing! Pam Hansen
Welcome Pam! I’m so glad you’ve joined us.
Thanks for the book recommendations.
What a good outfit on you! I love the unexpected pop of color I the red shoes. Your new haircut is very flattering, too. You have it together!
Thanks Renée
Totally agree. I’m a retired 65 yr old woman who lives in a beautiful but laid back community. I’ve had to do some thinking about what my life really looks like and plan from there. I’m a minimalist at heart so in the past 5 yrs ( retired at 60) I’ve pretty much stayed shopping in 3 places. Nordstrom, Frank and Eileen ( the bulk of my wardrobe) and few mix ins from Talbots. What do all these pretty much have in common in they provide slow fashion and that suits my new life. I find shopping exhausting and yes, most clothing either cheaply constructed or not in sync with the mature woman. I seldom share but this topic hits home!! Have a great day!
Thanks for sharing today Lorelei.
I had to laugh at your puffed sleeve comment – I identified with this 100% regarding an item I returned recently. 😅😁😍
Thank you for sharing your style information and experience – I’m enjoying your blog, etc.
I would like to know more about your daughter’s cool sunglasses please?
I know they’re so fun. Here they are.
How exciting to see “This Book Made Me Think of You” featured! I checked it out from the local library a few days ago and am halfway through. Couldn’t agree more with your daughter Vanessa’s recommendation and your comments. Despite the loss of her husband, this book is very uplifting and hopeful, which all of us need.
Thank you for writing about being in the dressing room “with the puffed sleeve that had no business being in there with me.” It helped me come to grips with the fact that this year’s long dresses with puffy sleeves and giant floral patterns, along with shirt dresses with full skirts are just not for me. Thanks for giving me the resolve to resist trying to follow trends that don’t flatter me.
I’m so glad it was helpful!
I’ve actually grown to hate shopping. The selection in the stores is very limited (I’m a petite) and you’re really forced to order on-line. I still like to see and feel the clothing I’m purchasing but that seems to be a luxury these days. I’m 65 and everything looks like it would be perfect for my daughters or my mother. Very confusing.
I agree Ann
Jennifer you look smashing in that scarf! However the price is way out of my league as are many of the fashions highlighted. I just cannot stomach spending that much. I do love your newsletters and use your try-ons to look for fashions that are more reasonably priced if you’ve done a higher end shop. It is very frustrating to shop these days, the styles, prices, etc, just seem so out there. It also frustrates me that many of the companies that have catered to older women have not changed their styles/fabrics since I was little and watched my grandmothers dress. I don’t want to wear an oversized house coat or tent looking dress. I frequently leave shops empty handed!
I just finished The Briar Club in 3 days. I will be recommending this to my book club. Thank you for your book suggestions.
I was with two of my goddaughters in their early 20s last weekend and both were complaining about how hard it was to find clothes they like. Both tall, beautiful girls are living in Boston with one studying architecture and both love fashion. They were laughing about how terrible they looked in the huge puffy sleeves and the droopy oversized shoulder look. It was interesting. I see very petite influencers wearing milkmaid dresses with lots of fabric, and they look sweet, but nobody I know would wear that look. Clearly people are though? I mean, it’s still selling?
I assume it’s selling. Just because other people wear it doesn’t mean it works for me or you.
I agree wholeheartedly! Lately I have been emailing certain companies to ask them to use women of all ages in their publicity especially women over 60. I am getting so fed up being ignored. I know that is why I am loyal to certain brands because I feel represented. Over the weekend I drove over an hour in heavy traffic to visit a store which had a particular deep color dress in their new season that I just had to see. I tried it on and then walked out into the store to show the assistants and I felt so wonderful and free and beautiful. A real celebration for the summer. So worth it to feel you are present front and center. On another note, love love love that scarf on you Jennifer, such a celebration! Enjoy!
Thank you for sharing Francesca. More and more brands are using older models but we have a long way to go.
Both books are great.
Nobody mentioned your pop of the red shoes. Loved that touch with scarf over column black!
❤️❤️
As much as I love a puffed sleeve, not for my 75 year old body. I’m sticking with my classic t-shirts, which now I spend a little more, for better quality and linen shirts. I’m trying to accessorize a bit more. I do look at the Amazon ‘capsule’ wardrobes and see if there is anything that works for me, usually 1%, but right now my go-to is Quince, quality and greet prices…….and they have classic looks….just picked up two cardigans that will be used heavily.
Quince is a great value! I’m hoping they’ll add more colors soon.
Me too. I’m just loving this brand….
Oh, so true, Jennifer! The trends are not my best fashion self, but it’s so easy to be sucked in by pretty floral prints and puffed sleeves or ruffles! Reminds me of the fashions in my teenage years. It’s hard to acknowledge that I will have buyer’s remorse. Thank you for your blog! You provide the needed reminder that I should stay true to my best style and stay focused when I shop for clothes!
It’s so easy to get sucked in. I finally donated the huge wide cuff jeans I had decided were me, which weren’t.
That scarf is gorgeous. Just a little out of my comfort zone $$$ but I would if I could.
I bought the big one in wool/silk, but they also make several smaller sizes in silk which is apealing for warmer weather.
Just read an interesting article in the New York Times about designers showing older models on the runway. They call them “generational models”. Worth a read.
I’ve seen a lot of older models on the runways this season! It’s wonderful.
Wonderful post, Jennifer. I find I am still buying the items that I know will work on me, but they are just harder to find. No sleeveless, cap sleeve, puff sleeve, or short sleeve for me, so a difficult search for elbow-sleeved items. No deep necklines that show my bra, bateau necklines that require some tank or chemise underneath. Then the tragic wide-leg, barrel-leg, or lantern pants. Ugh.
I do love Eileen Fisher, but even that line has ridiculous spaghetti strap tops and dresses that are impossible for me to feel comfortable in. However, maybe I don’t really need those dresses, anyway. As a positive, I have found a couple of Banana Republic dresses that are generous, modest, and easy to wear. I am loving linen pants by a company called Nomad the Label. Their Sahu long line pants are incredibly comfortable and work for me. So really, do I actually need more stuff? Probably not.
That is a great point! I think it’s better to double down on what we know works for us.