Will You Still Need Me When I’m 64? (On the Topic of Anti-Aging)
Today is my sixty-fourth birthday. How the hell did that happen so fast? Today has me thinking about aging, making the most of the time we have, and how much I deplore the phrase “anti-aging.” I want to talk about pro-aging and the beauty of aging.
Last week I was approached by a brand (who will remain nameless) via my Instagram page, to try out and share what may very well be a lovely beauty product. And the moment I saw it was called an “anti-aging” face cream, I stopped reading. It was a hard stop. The phrase “anti-aging” is so offensive to me on a deep level. Do you feel the same way?
I want to look the best I can for my age, but I don’t want to lie about my age. I don’t want to anti-age. I am not ANTI-aging – I am pro-aging. When did we become a culture so obsessed with youth?
I recall always wanting to be older as I was growing up. To be older was to be cooler, more sophisticated, more interesting.
I’ll never forget the year I forgot how old I was. ALL YEAR I told everyone I was 38. I thought I was 38 deep in my soul. But then my birthday rolled around and I realized I was turning 38 and had robbed myself of my 37th year. Ha! Of course, I had tweenagers at the time, which probably accounts for a fair amount.
Now I am certainly a fan of products that can help soften the signs of aging on my skin. I’ve used Botox. I use Retin-A. I feel no shame about that. But it’s not because I want to deny that I am aging, or that aging is a dirty word or something we should hesitate or shy away from.
What a blessing it is to age – whatever that looks like for you. My mother died when she was nine years older than I am today. And on her deathbed, she spoke about regret that she had for things she had not done. And she was adventurous! But her time was cut short. Last year my daughter climbed Mount Kilimanjaro in honor of my mom, one of the dreams she couldn’t fulfill and carried a photo of her to the summit.
You often hear about people living in the moment. But that’s a hard thing to do. Not to mention this year, when we are all trapped at home (or in my case, currently in quarantine), and longing for life to get back to normal. And we can all feel our own version of disappointed, sad, and frustrated about the situation we find ourselves in with the pandemic, and the long list of other challenges happening in the world right now. But maybe this is indeed the best year for all of us to learn how to live in this moment. With the future so uncertain, we have to grab what we can and do what we love.
This is a great time to be a woman that is aging.
It is never too late to start over, to start a new health kick, a new lifestyle, a new relationship. We are only limited by our own fears, insecurities, and restrictions.
I started my own business in 2012. The year before, I could barely navigate my laptop! And these last eight years have taught me just how many opportunities are available to us – with the right amount of dedication and hard work.
Don’t allow anyone to dim your light, or limit your potential.
The truth is we are aging and it’s a great thing. We can be pro-aging and still do all we can to look our best. There is no expiration date on ambition, hope, and great style.
Happy birthday! Enjoy every minute. Give that wonderful daughter a hug, what a nice thing to do. As to creams, I have allergies to tropical fruits/ latex ( comes from rubber tree), so I can’t partake in most creams, Especially “ natural “ because it has allergic properties for me, no matter what the claim. I also have to read all labels, and investigate the wording, so of course I’ve read way too much about false claims. I would suggest, they market as “ beauty” creams, skin protection , or feels so soft, instead, is a more positive direction.
Happy Birthday! Every year is a blessing indeed!
Happy Birthday Jennifer!! Loved this post and I totally agree with getting SO tired of the term anti-aging…like aging isn’t a normal process. The other thing that irks me about these anti-aging products is that they are advertised using a 30 year old!!! They don’t even have any wrinkles! I will turn 63 on Sept 5 and like my mom always says…no one thinks of themselves as the age they actually are. Loved your pics of your mom and your daughter, how sweet! Blessings to you and your family on your special day.
Have a wonderful birthday to match that wonderful attitude!
Happy Birthday! Have a wonderful day and a wonderful year! What a nice way of looking at aging!
Happy Birthday Jennifer. May you and your daughter find a fun way to celebrate it. I will be leaving 64 in two weeks and don’t have a clue how I am supposed to feel, as I still feel much younger, until look in the mirror and shatter that illusion. What a loving thing Vanessa did for herself and her grandmother. As someone previously mentioned, the three of you could be a progression of a single person, all so beautiful. Have a wonderful day.
Yes to your post!! Happy Birthday! I’ve tried to look at aging as my mother did. She aged gracefully and never was hung up on getting older. She didn’t act older or talk about being older. It’s part of life. But like you, I do want to look my best. I’ve been exercising more diligently for a year now and am happy to say that I’ve dropped 15 pounds!! I have 12 more to go so, here’s to another year of being focused on strength and healthy living !! I am interested in your tips for healthy skin. I’m 64 and this was the year the skin is now totally crepey (is that a word)!!! Saggy and crepey are not attractive!! Hope it’s not too late to wake up this skin! Thanks for what you do! You look lovely ❤️
I am fighting crepey skin all over now too!! Thanks for being here
hyaluronic and retinol
Happy Birthday Jennifer! Such a well written and thoughtful post today and a lovely photo of your mother. You can certainly see the family resemblance in all three of you, and all with great smiles.
Enjoy your special day and best wishes for many, many more.
Happy Birthday & Enjoy your day even in quarantine! Grab a book or a game board like “Mousetrap” and the largest flute of champagne to CELEBRATE!
Happy birthday, Jennifer! Have a great day!👍😀🎉🎂
Happy birthday…and I loved today’s post. Aging is so much better than the alternative.
Happy Birthday Jennifer! I love your pro-aging term. If I was in marketing, I would be snagging that term! Aging is certainly a privilege, not to be taken for granted but enjoyed to the max. Enjoy your special day!
Happy Birthday! I’ll be 70 in October. As a musician this plague has been horrible. But I’ve resolved to crawl out of my depressive hole and set a new goal. I’ll start a 100 miles of the Appalachian Trail on 1/3/21. Time now to build fitness and strength for the walk!
I will be cheering you on Mary Jane!! Go for it
Happy Birthday, Jennifer! Wonderful inspirational post!
“A flower does not think of competing with a flower next to it, it just blooms”. It’s a little quote that I read a long time ago. I feel that each of us bloom with our own, very unique collection of life experiences. I still saw the 20 year old girl speaking about her life as she relayed so many amazing stories. It was my 90 year old mother! She cared for herself personally and maintained a daily routine of caring for her appearance but more importantly, she remained “current” with everything going on around her. Her children, grandchildren or great grandchildren could always count on her listening, caring and accepting their life choices.
It’s not all about how we look on the surface but to me, it’s also about how we look out at what’s around us.
It’s a great day to celebrate your beautiful birthday Jennifer!!🎂
Happy Birthday, Jennifer! Great post today about aging. I have a cousin who works in the senior housing field. She has made me aware of the prevalence of ageism in our society. It is such a limiting and degrading bias! I try every day to remember how lucky I am (a relatively healthy and active 77 year old), and I constantly try to learn new things (learned how to play MahJong and playing online twice a week with friends has kept me connected during this pandemic). Best of luck to you in your 64th year!
Happy birthday Jennifer! I’m 69. Since the pandemic, I’ve grown out my super short hair and let it go natural. I’ve been gettI got so many compliments!
I am Thankful every single day! We are so lucky to be where we are! Enjoy
Happy Birthday! I used to look at aging as, “better than the alternative”, you know what I mean.
Never wanted to have my picture taken as I didn’t look the same as when I was in my 30’s or 40’s.
Somewhere in my early 60’s, spending more time with my mom as she was aging, I realized I had some very good genes. She passed at 94. She lived a very full and active life, still living on her own, cooking all her own food, shopping and driving her car. I also realized that attitude and gratitude is what advances us to the next month, year, decade in our lives.
Now, I don’t miss a photo opp with my 6 grandkids. I’ll be 74 in a couple of months & proud of it!
Happy Birthday 🎊🎈🎉🎂🎁❤️
Attitude is everything; clearly your mom set a great example for you & you are setting a great one for your daughter. Happy Birthday, Jennifer, and many more! 🥳