Still Waiting: A Life on Hold
Happy Tuesday ladies. Several weeks, (or was it months ago?) ago I mentioned I was having some health challenges and awaiting a few test results. Several ladies have written to ask how they turned out so I thought I would give you an update.
Let me start at the beginning.
Last year…oh crap, this is going to be a long one…I had a CT to check the health of my lungs. I’d been a 2 1/2 pack a day smoker for many years when I was young and dumb. It seemed like everyone smoked back then, but I smoked a lot. Remember when tennis tournaments were sponsored by Virginia Slims? How crazy is that?
I have three friends who’ve had lung cancer and one who started a fantastic lung cancer foundation so I asked my doctor to schedule me for a CT. They discovered a tiny, and I mean tiny spot. Nothing worried the doctor so they decided to just watch it. This year, my doctor suggested I find an oncologist closer to where we live to monitor it because this was out of her field. I went to see the same top-notch oncologist at UC Davis who is monitoring my husband’s lung spot for any changes.
He ordered a follow-up CT to see if it had changed. One week later, he phoned me. Gulp, how often does that happen? He said the small spot on my lung had not changed so not to worry, they would just continue to watch it. Whew! But… they did find a small tumor in the center of my chest, between my lungs, in front of my heart. He was referring me to a thoracic surgeon because it had to come out.
WHAT?
After scraping myself off the ceiling I googled everything I could about this type of tumor. It’s on my thymus, called a thymoma and conventional wisdom says it needs to come out. OK, I’m on board with that. If we have to, we will and deal with the consequences.
I couldn’t get in to see the surgeon until we got back from our trip to Palm Springs. It was a long and stressful wait. I upped my daily walks, meditation and kept on keeping on because what else can you do? Every time I found myself going down the dark hole of worry I would shift my thinking to something positive.
The current health crisis was just ramping on the day of my appointment to see the surgeon but there was no way I would miss this meeting. So hand sanitizer at the ready, we went. The surgeon told us she thinks the radiologist may be mistaken and it might just be a cyst or lymph node. I sure hope she’s right. She’s ordered an MRI but of course, no one wants me to go near a hospital right now, so everything is on hold and I wait.
A few weeks ago I also got a call back about my mammogram. Apparently the radiologist saw something they didn’t like the look of so they rushed me in for a diagnostic mammogram, followed by an ultrasound. The waiting was nerve-wracking, and I was not alone. The room was filled with nervous women, sitting quietly, lost in her own thoughts. I did notice that every other woman had put her purse on the floor. I never do. Do you?
The radiologist finally came in to tell me they’re still not happy with what they see so they’ve requested a breast MRI. I’m currently waiting for my insurance to approve that one. Right about now, I’m sure my insurance company is regretting they ever heard my name:)
It feels like our lives are on hold while we wait for this nasty situation to go away. I know I do.
I’m not going to lie, this is tough. I’m trying not to obsess over these upcoming MRI’s because I’m a huge believer in the power of positive thinking. In fact, I’m on my third fourth viewing of this movie, and will likely watch it again just to bolster my mood.
In the scheme of life these days, I know I am blessed. I can’t control many things these days, but I can control how I dress, whether I put on lipstick and what things I allow to fill my thoughts. I know many of you are also dealing with things that had to be put on hold. The best we can do is support each other, encourage positive thinking and be kind to ourselves and those around us.
Please we well and remember to wear what makes you feel confident. Our wardrobe, cosmetics, and perfume may seem frivolous to some, but I believe they are powerful tools we can use to keep our spirits up when life gets tough.
xx
Sending many positive thoughts and prayers your way. I fully agree positive attitude has a big impact in the way we deal with EVERYTHING in life! 🌸🌼🌺
What disturbing news and especially during this dreadful time. I am thinking of you and feeling so for you that you have to wait for your insurance to approve an MRI that you need for proper diagnosis. I have recently had an MRI in Australia. The cost was AUD$530.85 and our Medicare paid $380.85 of that leaving me with a $150 gap to pay. That would be equivalent to USD$93.00 out of pocket. I am not sure if my insurance will kick in anything but at that small gap, I wouldn’t need to rely on their cover anyway to get peace of mind. I hope that they come up with an answer soon for you and I pray that the results are good as mine were.
Jennifer
Sending love and prayers to you and your family!
Thank you for sharing.
Deborah
The waiting is the worst. I agree with you that a positive attitude is everything. You will be in my thoughts and prayers Jennifer. ❤️
Staying positive today for you!
Positivity coming your way!👋❤
I am constantly reminded how fortunate we are to live at a time when the medical fields have made such tremendous advances. I have a lengthy list of things to be grateful for and this is certainly close to the top.
Waiting for test results and now trying to schedule appointments can be frustrating! Stay strong Jennifer!
Sending you bunches of best wishes, jan
Dear Jennifer. You will be in my prayers. Thank you for sharing this post. Please keep us posted. Blessings to you and family. ❤️🙏❤️
Praying for you.
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Lots of women look forward to hearing from you each day so stay positive and remember that there are many of us who will be with you in our prayers.
Thank you for the update. I have been worried and wondering what was going on. I’ll continue to put you in my prayers and please keep us posted. We all love you!
Prayers for you! A friend went thru something similar recently (with her mammo) and I know how extremely stressful this can be. Please keep us updated so we may provide continued support.
Keeping you in my prayers and stay positive.
Thinking of you Jennifer, and sending Love and Prayers ……From Scotland! X
Positive thoughts & energy being sent your way!
Don’t worry as long you don’t have a final result. I was in a similar situation and after many tests they find out a histoid adhesion. It could be removed just with a local anaesthesia. Anyway fingers crossed and all my best wishes. …and yes, you do right how you behave in these times…..positive!!..
and yes, putting your handbag on a floor is a bad Fengh Shui
I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this. It is a lot , especially with virus worries thrown in. I’m in awe, actually, of the way you are handling this. And you will be in my prayers. Sending positive thoughts💗
Jennifer,
Waiting is excruciating! Sending hugs and prayers. Keep up your positive attitude!❤️
You and the doctors are proactive in this.
Early screenings are so important. You are perfect
to remind us.
Wishing you peace Jennifer. The grace you exhibit as you deal with this is inspirational.
I’m sure this is an extremely stressful time for you. Sending you my positive vibes hoping it helps calm your day!
I will keep you in my prayers