Musing on The Quiet Story Our Clothes Tell
One of my quiet pleasures in life is noticing how other women express their style. Not the overly styled or Instagram-perfect kind, but the real-life kind. The woman in line at the market with the perfect scarf and elegant chignon. The friend who always finds jewelry that tells a story. The stranger at the airport whose outfit simply made me think, That’s good.
I saw two women last week who reminded me just how powerful personal style can be when it’s done with thought and intention and the quiet story our clothes tell.
Woman at Airport
The first was at the airport. She wore head-to-toe black—slim pants, ballet flats, and a simple top with pleated sleeves that gave it just enough interest. Her auburn hair was cut in a modern, confident shape that framed her face without looking fussy. Simple diamond (or maybe CZ) studs added a soft sparkle, and her glasses had distinctive, artistic frames that suggested a creative eye. Beneath the collar of her blouse, I noticed a tiny gold bee pin…subtle and almost hidden, but clearly placed with intention.
There wasn’t a single element that stood out about her outfit, but rather how everything worked together. The effect was clean, strong, and quietly elegant. She looked like someone who understood her style and used it to express something thoughtful and assured, without needing to announce it.
Woman at Concert
Later that week, I sat next to another woman at a Paul Simon concert and felt that same quiet spark of admiration. Her outfit was understated but carried a certain clarity that made it hard not to notice. She wore black pants and a matching jacket, both with a slim silver stripe running down the sides. They were simple pieces and perfect for the venue. Her flat boots were practical but grounded her look in an intentional way.
Her dark brown hair was sleek and straight, worn without fuss. She didn’t wear earrings, but her hands told the story: several slim gold rings stacked across her fingers, distinctive but unshowy. They felt like part of her that added to her story…rather than something added on.
What I noticed first, though, was her cane. The handle was shaped like a silver rabbit head, elegant, unexpected, and just a little whimsical. I complimented it, and she smiled. “If I have to carry one,” she said, “it might as well be interesting.” She’d found it on Etsy.
It was a small moment, but it said a lot. She hadn’t chosen the ordinary version of something functional like medical equipment… she’d chosen the one with character. And like everything else she wore, it felt deliberate. Not styled to impress, but fully her own.
Just like the woman at the airport, she reminded me that great style isn’t always about the clothes themselves, it’s about the clarity behind them and the quiet story they tell. The choices, the details, the confidence that comes from dressing in a way that reflects you.
Style Reflection
I must admit, as I spotted each of these women, I felt inspired. I liked what I was wearing and I’d chosen it thoughtfully then added accessories I enjoy…but something about their presence made me pause.
With color removed from the equation of their outfits, the details stood out in a different way. The silhouette, the texture, and the proportions seemed intentional, but not overthought. It was the overall feeling of their outfits that made an impression, not any one thing they were wearing.
Lately, I’ve found myself craving a little more intention in how I dress. Not perfection, not a full reinvention, but a recalibration. I want my outfits to be a clearer reflection of where I am now, and who I’m becoming. I’m in a season of quiet change. Not dramatic, but meaningful. I want to look as thoughtful, grounded, and quietly interesting on the outside as I feel on the inside.
That’s the kind of style I noticed in those women. Not attention-seeking, but attention-holding. A sense that their clothes weren’t just worn, they were inhabited.
I’m slowly editing toward that feeling in my own wardrobe. Less about what looks good on paper, more about what reflects the kind of presence I want to carry into my days. It’s not always clear, and it certainly isn’t quick, but it feels worth it.
These women didn’t inspire me to shop. They inspired me to pay closer attention to my choices, my details and what I want my clothes to express about me. Our clothes don’t need to scream who we are. But it’s worth remembering that they do say something. Whether we mean to or not, we’re speaking through what we choose to wear.
If someone saw you across a room, before you spoke a word, what might they assume about you based on your outfit? Would they see someone creative, curious, polished, approachable? Would you look like an interesting woman who had stories to tell?
I too loved the article and reminded me of my mom who was thoughtful in putting her outfits together all the way down to the hat and jewelry accessories. I have often emulated the same and I even see my daughter putting outfits that are her style and elegance. This article also inspired me to keep loving what I am living in clothes-wise. I don’t need the most expensive or flashy to be noticed but a quiet confidence that I look the best for any and every occasion for me to feel confident. Beauty comes from the heart-not the clothes but sometimes the clothes are a true reflection of the heart.
Would you consider doing this type of post on a regular basis (as you do for your dressing room diaries)?
That’s an interesting idea. Let me see what I can do.
Loved this post! Am 71 and need to do better. I used to care but have lost interest with some eight gain. Still … need to get back to caring!
You deserve the care, no matter what you weigh!
I am receiving pop-up ads for finding out my “Archetype” style of dressing. It wants me to take a quiz to unlock my “style” based on my unique profile. I subscribe to 3 Fashion Bloggers including you, so that is probably why I am receiving these unsolicited ads. Curious if you have ever heard of the Archetype?
I know a lot about style archetypes. Perhaps I should write about it. The ads you see usually give you an answer if you subscribe to a paid service which sends you collages to buy outfits. I can’t speak to their value or authenticity.
Jennifer, as always you articulate a thought so beautifully. Reading your post, I realize I’d love to have the confidence of those two women, and how you present yourself. I’m one of those people who have a closet full of nothing to wear..i’m most comfortable in my standard jeans, white t-shirt or shirt, gold hoops, watch/Fitbit and bracelets. If I go out of that ‘uniform’ I always feel overdressed, not sure why, just have a very casual lifestyle…. At 74 I guess i still have a lot to learn…….
I agree with Nancy D. Everything you wrote hit home. I need to go through my closet and really identify what items express my style and what needs to get donated.
On another note sometimes I have an option to send a comment. Other tini, I can only reply to a readers comment. Not sure wht.
I’m also in a “season of quiet change.” I didn’t have the words for what I was going through, but you gave the them to me. I really care about how I present myself, not in a pretentious way; but in a way that feels good. I have been shopping my closet and adding modern pieces to what I wear. I put thought into the jewelry I wear, and I feel the pieces I choose can really make my outfit pop. In the cooler months, I accent my outfits with scarves. Mostly out of comfort as it can get chilly in an office. I call it my Liberace Era.
Jennifer,
Like you, I try to pull myself together when leaving the house. Recently, I met friends for coffee, one gal wearing jeans, baggy sweatshirt and flip flops asked me why I dress up just going to coffee? It was hard to think of a nice answer right off. I felt I had to defend myself for looking nice, anyway… my thoughts, that is how I was raised, self-respect, don’t want to look like I just crawled out of bed. I was wearing white capri’s, blouse and jean jacket with sandals not my idea of dressed up. I do notice a well styled woman, and so does my husband.
I have weekly coffee with friends, and they both are very casual, jeans or shorts and tees. I’ve been trying to dress more intentionally, and they have noticed and complimented me a few times. I think it’s funny though that they always think I’m going somewhere afterwards, like I wouldn’t dress that way just for coffee! 🙂
If I wear anything but black pants and a neutral top I feel clownish. How to wear any accessory is to not wear tons of shrieking colors around it. I wonder what the story is behind the bee pin.
Agree with the other readers, you have expressed yourself well with your blog today. At the mature age of 80, I still dress with attention everyday. My mother taught me that at a very young age. We had very different style sense, but each of us expressed who we are, she with flamboyance and I with simple more sophisticated style. Now it is weather appropriate, mostly white or cool off white linen or gauze columns that are comfortable and stylish but casual. I’m petite, silver and white haired, always with one of my hats on while out walking our little dog Trixy. It is who I am.
This is great. I chuckled at the cane since once again i will need one. My husband bought me a pretty flowered one that always gets a comment. I was so embarrassed to use it that these people had no clue how much their comments meant. My shoe choices will need to be sneakers again. I know what I want, but will i be able to get my foot in them…lol. I noticed an interview this AM on the news and this woman was so pretty in blue which looked like she just tossed it on perfectly. Always love your content!
Recalibrate….that’s exactly the word I’ve been looking for! I’ve felt a need for change, not a total makeover….just a shift….but recalibrating is the perfect description.
I don’t know how others see me but I think We all see with different eyes. For instance….the save or splurge? Putting price and color aside, I was drawn to the splurge dress because I thought the tailoring set it apart. Simple, structured elegance, at least to me. That’s what I want from my recalibration.
Thank you, Jennifer…..thoughtful, well written post.
Hi Jennifer,
Such a wonderful post thank you. I love seeing the unexpected. There is an artist l follow who is a silversmith and she makes hand forged jewelry, organic forms inspired by nature and the sea, she makes these gorgeous pieces that are just incredible. I have a few of her necklaces and they are now part of me.
They sound amazing!
Great column. I, too, am trying to be more intentional in my clothing, etc. choices and focusing on expressing myself more clearly. This season (last 3rd of our lives) is a time for quiet reflection for many of us. To answer your question, I think people seeing me across a room would think ‘active’ and sometimes ‘interesting.’ I would like to add two things: you love black, and impressions are cultural. Would you have felt the same way if the airport woman was dressed exactly the same but in white? Two women who stood out to me recently were from an African country. They were outrageously colorful but totally comfortable in their identities. I don’t think the word quiet was in their vocabulary.
The lack of color allowed the shapes and details to pop on both outfits, so I think I might have been just as struck, if they were wearing white.
One of the best AWSL emails! Thank you for your comments Jennifer. I often have a habit of looking at what women are wearing where ever I am & if there is a particular outfit or look I find appealing I try & break it down as to why. And if I am able I compliment the person. Dressing with intention is a good mantra.
Thank you again for today’s posting!
Regards
Nancy
You are my favorite blogger and this is a favorite post. Back in my corporate days, I chose my outfit the evening before including accessories and made sure everything was ready to go, steaming any garment that needed it. Never took more than 10 minutes, but I am not a morning person and 5 days/week had to get up by 6am, if not earlier. Shower/wash/blow dry every morning, plus make-up. No one even wore pantsuits back in the day, always skirt suits or dresses, but I wore more color and slightly edgier designs than other female professionals. Pantyhose and heels daily. It was too formal for my life these days, but it was always INTENTIONAL. And I always felt good about the way I presented myself. Reading this blog, I realize how much I have let ease and comfort be the tail that wags the dog. I can still (thankfully) avoid pantyhose and choose flats/low heels but this blog inspired me to make more of an effort at each day’s start.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Sheila
As I live, I find that the shoes that support me and my specific ‘issues’ are where I must begin curating outfits, and, thankfully, sneakers/trainers can be worn most everywhere! Daily dressing for humid, East coast weather is ‘FUN’ and a privilege ! It could be snow and ice!! For now, I have an arsenal of happy, joyous cotton and linen dresses – a few cherished, lightweight slips and hopefully, a breeze! Love your musings!
And isn’t it interesting that as older women we are told not to wear black by fashion advisors all the time? I wear what I please, and have always felt the most comfortable and elegant in black. Flowery prints, tiers of ruffles, big bold graphics just don’t feel me at all. I feel like the clothes wear me, rather than the other way around. Thanks for the essay about elegance and intention.
That is an interesting observation. I often feel my best in black too.
I want to be these women at this stage in my life. Quietly confident in my own way, true to myself, stylish and comfortable. Very insightful post and love all the reader comments.
This is such an interesting post. I am 75 and retired and although I love clothes, I find myself wearing the same things over and over and not putting enough effort into what I am wearing. I plan to change that. It’s funny, I am on a few FB cruise groups and the question of what to wear on cruises comes up ALL the time. The majority of people (women) say, “whatever you want, just be comfortable, no one notices or cares.” I always want to say, “I do!” and I can’t be the only one! Some get downright rude and say they don’t care what anyone thinks of them or what they are wearing. I do compliment strangers when I like what they are wearing. It really can make a difference to someone.
Clearly, some poeple do notice what what others wear.
Jennifer, I love how you articulate “intentional” style vs “attention-seeking” style. And how you plan to apply intentional style more to your own day-to-day dressing. I always find your posts informative and entertaining, but this one really hit the inspirational mark for me. Thank you for all that you do for our community of women.
Thanks for being part of our community, Nicole!