Is It Wrong To Choose Plastic Surgery?
Pardon me while I rant…or don’t. I’m mad as hell and don’t want to hear this poison anymore. And you shouldn’t either.
The recent news and commentary about Rene Zellweger’s “transformation” has been hot and heavy.
The media seems surprised, disillusioned and downright horrified by her plastic surgery. Most of the discussions I’ve seen on social media express the same or worse.
Why, in this youth obsessed society are we surprised when a woman has plastic surgery? A woman in the entertainment field, no less. Seriously people!
Which has me wondering…
Why are women bashing each other? Why are we so critical of each other? Why do we criticize women who don’t conform to our standards?
Does it stem from our own insecurity or an anger that someone seems to have “broken” the unspoken rules?
Why do women criticize women…
~ who choose to color their gray hair…and those who don’t.
~ who choose to have cosmetic work done…and those who don’t.
~ who choose to date younger men and those who don’t.
~ who choose to choose to go makeup free and those who don’t.
~ who choose to maintain a svelte figure and those who don’t.
~ who choose to dress eccentrically and those who don’t.
Why do the women who choose to gray naturally, feel superior to women who choose to cover their gray hair! This one astounds me.
Why do we put down, ridicule and make fun, at the expense of other women?
I remember how prevalent female bashing was during high school. Perhaps you got off easy. In my high school, the girls were downright vicious.
Why haven’t we gotten past that? Why can’t we cut each other slack?
Is the competition so tough or are we so insecure that we need to align ourselves with one group against another to feel strong? For validation.
Gay bashing is abhorrent. Racial bashing is disgusting. Body weight bashing is totally unacceptable. And yet women bashing, is alive and thriving. It seems like the bashing of older women is the worst.
It seems to me that it’s our lives, our bodies and our choice!
What do you think?
Women bashing other women, it’s a huge problem and sisters it’s only holding us back. Stop the petty nastiness and let us live our own choices, including the work we choose and the way we look… The things we can do when we support each other will be amazing.
XOX
You’re so right Dani! We need to support each other.
We rant because in some twisted way, it makes us feel better, more superior. It’s a petty, small-minded thing to do. I support women unless it’s concerning something that will drive them off some cliff. Even then, I must be careful to check if that’s MY cliff, or theirs.
Brenda
Good morning Jennifer ~
I’ve so enjoyed your travels lately, I always find your posts are very in tune with what I’m living or what I might be considering. I love that you keep it real and that you write YOUR personal thoughts. It’s what makes blogging fun and therapeutic as well, right?
If you recall, I discovered you and your “Well Styled Life” when I was researching different ways of protecting myself from the sun. Your tips were very useful. This discovery was on the heels of my personal journey into skin rejuvenation. Writing “Skin Deep” was the most personal journey I’ve ever shared on my blog. I will tell you that before I clicked the publish key, I made sure that I was emotionally prepared to deal with criticism from readers. Fortunately they were kind or chose not to comment. I’m quoting you when I say that I too prefer to surround my self with “Women with backbone, manners and kindness in their hearts.” Aren’t we lucky that there are so many of us still around!
If you don’t mind, I’d love to share with you an article that I have saved regarding the emotionally loaded & spiritually conflicted choice to change ourselves into the women we want to be. I hope that you and your readers might find the author’s perspective helpful.
One more thing before I wrap up this extremely long comment ~ thanks to you, I now keep a sunblock stick in my car and have been spotted vigorously covering the tops of my hands at stop lights!
Thank you Jennifer ~ keep writing your inspiring “Well Styled Life!”
Xoxo Lisa
http://spiritualityhealth.com/articles/plastic-surgery-six-things-i-learned-about-emotionally-loaded-spiritually-conflicted-choice/page/0/2
Thank you so much Lisa! Your comments mean a lot to me.
It’s very hard for me to open my heart and expose in such a public forum. In fact, my whole hacking experience this summer, followed by his cyber stalking and invading my privacy, has definitely changed how I feel about exposing myself.
I had a very hard time pushing publish…but I’m so glad I did.
Ultimately blogging IS about connecting with like minded souls, and I’m finding many wonderful friends through this medium.
I do like to share informational posts that I’ve learned as an Image Consultant and think might be helpful. But the reaction to my latest post reminds me it’s a personal connection as well.
Thank you for sharing this link. I’ve already “liked” them on Facebook!
You were brave to tell your story. You look wonderful!! I’ve seen two doctors in the past few years, to check if I can have the procedure you did. I really want to repair the many years of sun abuse I suffered (caused).
Unfortunately, they tell me I will de pigment, and end up with a ghost-white face. All scars or burns I get turn ghost white, so they assume my entire face will do the same:(
It’s scared me off but I’m hoping something else will come along I can try.
Heading over to read your link. Have a wonderful day and loving holiday season.
Many thanks and love,
Jennifer
I enjoyed your comment and wholeheartedly agree with everything you said. I have never seen a sunscreen stick but will be looking for one now. Several years ago I found on Amazon a pair of summer driving gloves that give sun protection. They not only protect my hands from sun damage while I am driving but allow me to hold onto the steering wheel when it is too hot to touch with bare hands.
Interesting discussion. I don’t know or associate with women who are nasty and jealous — I can say that my friends and I only build each other up! As for the discussion on plastic surgery — I see it as another feminist issue; just as women wore crippling corsets, powered their faces with toxic white powder and had their feet bound — all in the name of beauty – some women today seek youth & perfection and seem to have become addicted to removing any – god forbid – sign of aging, or perceived flaw. While of course everyone has the right to choice I wonder what message it sends to young girls — aging is horrific! I look up to my mother & aunts who all embraced their age, looked wonderful, loved clothes, and felt age was just a number.
You’re so lucky to have the friends you do. I let friendships go, that weren’t supportive. Life is too short to waste on people who undermine me. The message our young women are getting is horrific!! I worry for their future.
Sooo complicated right?? My personal opinion is that a lot of us grew up with her and her hiding her age is only making it more obvious but she reminds us of our mortality…it’s scary bc we are truly conflicted. Eat cake be happy then but you’re fat unhealthy and your husband has left you so what on earth were you thinking eating cake etc. unfortunately I don’t see this criticism ending and women will always be critical of looks but then go easy on other things so it balances out?
I don’t see this criticism ending anytime soon either. It is complicated.
I continue to read disparaging comments about her choice, and it continues to baffle me! People who are self confident and secure do this less, but I do think part of it is gossip laced with old fashioned meanness.
Wow. What an interesting dialogue you’ve got going here Jennifer. And I love that you shared your ‘rant’ because this is a topic that strikes a cord on so many levels. The Rene topic has baffled me (since when is plastic surgery that dramatically changes one’s looks so shocking in the movie industry?) angered me ( about the anti-aging messages all women get in our society) and made me sad (for Rene, or any other young, pretty woman who feels insecure and inadequate as they are). And I do agree with your point about women being the worst offenders when it comes to criticizing other women. I think it’s all about self confidence and esteem, don’t you? When someone feels genuinely good about themselves, they don’t need to put other people down. That goes for men as well as women. Great post. 🙂
xo
Leslie
I am late to the party, I truly believe it is insecurity. I come across as a very strong and confident person and I am always surprised at how many people, both men and women are put off, envious and downright nasty just because I appear to be in control and confident.
These people truly do not believe we bleed the same as everyone else and they attack with a vengeance.
I always remember what my grandmother told me, be glad they are attacking you-you can take it-rather than attacking someone they could truly hurt and make cry.
Nola
Your grandmother was a wise woman! I appear tougher outside, than I am inside, and tend to get hurt by callous, mean comments. You’re never too late to my party Nola. Thank you for stopping by!
I do think it is all personal and there should be no judgement here but as a society, it seems there is always criticism. I really try hard to focus on lifting one’s spirits with good positive comments! (or say nothing at all!)
pve
I think our society struggles to say nothing at all. Our social media explosion seems to have thrown “being graceful” out the window. xo
I seriously do not care! The one thing I absolutely abhor is the continuing publicity of Kim & Kanye. I mean seriously, is this all we have to do? And, the “is she or isn’t she” of Jennifer Aniston? I think we have some real authentic movie-star icons but none of this type fit the bill for me.
It’s amazing how wrapped up people are in the lives of “celebrities”. These folks are just that, folks. Nothing more or less.
Great points Suze! Feeling inadequate makes some people strike out which is no way to empower oneself!