Ageism and Style Over 60: What a Style Insult Taught Me
Some mornings, I open my phone, and it feels like stepping into a crowded room where everyone is talking at once, with opinions flying and images everywhere. If you’re a woman navigating ageism and style over 60, that noise can feel especially pointed. It can be overwhelming, even when you’ve chosen to be there.
Being online is my choice and my business. I show up here because I care about thoughtful style, real conversation, and the women who read what I share. But even when you choose this path, even when you’re clear on your purpose, there are moments that stop you cold.
A woman recently commented that my outfits reminded her of what she sees on women going in and out of nursing homes. And yes—she meant it as an insult. She wasn’t offering a gentle opinion or a quirky association. She was trying to cut me down.
Now, I’ve been around long enough to know that comments like that say more about the person delivering them than the one receiving them. Still, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t land somewhere. She wanted it to sting. And for a brief moment, it did.
Not because I believe her. But it reminded me how easily age is used as a cheap shot…a quick way to diminish a woman without saying anything of substance. The fact that it came from someone in her 40s adds another layer entirely. It speaks to the way our culture still pits women against each other, feeding us the idea that youth is currency and age is something to fear. That kind of comment isn’t just about me, it’s about the insecurity and internalized ageism that tells younger women they gain value by tearing older ones down.
There’s this tired belief that dressing your age means giving up. That if you choose comfort or subtlety over flash, you’ve somehow surrendered style altogether.
I reject that. I wear what reflects who I am now… a woman with experience, confidence, and a wardrobe that fits my life, not someone else’s expectations. If that’s too subtle or mature for some, so be it.
Judgment is everywhere, but for women over 60, it can feel especially pointed. Choosing to be visible, online or off, is a quiet act of defiance. It’s how we push back against a culture that still hasn’t figured out how to value women as we age.
If you’ve ever hesitated to share a photo or wear what you love because of what someone might say…consider whose voice you’re prioritizing. Let it be your own. The one that knows what fits, what flatters, what feels like you. That’s the voice worth listening to.
I invite you to subscribe to my newsletter here and join our positive conversation about aging in style.
If you’ve ever questioned whether your style is still ‘relevant,’ this post on Style Myths Women Over 60 Should Ignore may feel like a breath of fresh air.
FAQ: Ageism and Style Over 60
Q: What does ageism look like in fashion and personal style?
A: Ageism in fashion often shows up as subtle (or not-so-subtle) criticism when older women dress in ways that reflect who they are, rather than chasing youth. It can sound like backhanded comments, surprise that you “still care about clothes,” or assumptions that style has an expiration date. It’s rooted in the belief that aging should be hidden, rather than lived out loud.
Q: How should women over 60 respond to ageist comments about their appearance or style?
A: With clarity, not apology. You don’t need to defend your age or your style. If someone takes a cheap shot, it says more about their own discomfort with aging than it does about you. Confidence is often the most unsettling outfit of all for people who don’t know how to wear it.
Q: Can personal style really push back against ageism?
A: Absolutely. Every time a woman over 60 dresses for herself…not for approval, not to look younger, but to feel like herself, she’s quietly challenging the idea that aging makes us invisible. Style isn’t just about clothes; it’s about presence. And presence at our age is powerful.
What would you say to a younger woman who’s never been told that aging can be its own kind of freedom?
Bravo! You go girl! ❤️
Age brings wisdom and life experience that a younger woman simply doesn’t have. Bless their hearts.
A few thoughts:
I’m going to take a leap on an assumption that the woman who made that comment wants to feel superior for a moment. She may feel inferior to others in her life or who she experiences on line. Her feeling won’t last and she’s soon onto another target about something- e.g. weight is often a weapon. It’s her story until she realizes making others feel worse doesn’t make her better.
I’m never sure what older women mean when they speak of being “invisible.” Does it mean they don’t stand out in a crowd? That they no longer get noticed for how they look? If it’s about being noticed for my appearance, sign me up. I had a long career in corporate life beginning in 1980, often the only woman on a male team. I worked really hard, put in long days, took a break for dinner then did more paperwork. It paid off and I earned a huge promotion at age 30 to a regional staff. The role required regular presentations to groups of mostly men. I would exhaust myself in preparation before these meetings. There were sleepless nights of anxiety.
Then, I’d give my 15 minute presentation. Often, the feedback was about my appearance. “You look nice.” “My wife has a similar outfit. Do you shop at (blank)?”
“Do those shoes hurt your feet?”
My colleague weren’t being mean. Appearance was what they were taught to notice about young women. So, I find the idea of people not noticing my appearance first rather appealing.
Fascinating comment Susan. I had no idea it was like that in the corporate world. Thanks for sharing
Well said! I have learned to avoid nasty people who say nasty things whenever possible. I appreciate you and your blog 😊
Jennifer,
I’m a bit behind in reading your blog…life happens!😀 I am so sorry that you had to experience this woman’s insecure nastiness! On a personal note, your advice has been so helpful to me…dressing for weddings, trips, reunions, coffee with friends, and just for every day. Know that you really are providing a valuable service…we grandmothers like to look nice too! Dianne
Dear Jennifer,
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I don’t understand mean girls and think you are spot on that such unwarranted criticism speaks volumes about the critic and not you! Why such a person can’t just “take” what works and leave the rest is beyond me. I for one love receiving your blog and value your opinions and suggestions; assembling such informative suggestions week after week can’t be easy (although you make it seem so!). Thank you for being a voice for us older gals who still want to look our best.
Jennifer, I just had to leave a message to you and say how much I admire you and your posts. Today I just had to respond for fear I wouldn’t latter. You are so correct in your post today, I am heading out the door to walk my dog in what I like to wear, my style, casual and comfortable. I’m 76 and can still walk and talk with the best of them. If they want to S E E me fine. Thank you again for the post. Linda H
Great article, thank you!
Rudeness is unflattering. Just because you think it doesn’t mean you should say it. I was at my granddaughter’s 1st birthday party over the weekend. There were many ladies in their thirties in outfits I would have never worn when I was that age – very tight, very revealing dresses and one lady was sporting see through white pants over a black thong(!). Our style is personal and changes as we age. Someday your rude reader will hopefully realize this and regret her actions.
I am so sorry that that women had nothing better to do. Most of us try to make another person’s day better NOT worse. I really appreciate your response too. I rarely post here but I read you every day and I certainly have taken to heart many ideas and suggestions you give us. I am really appreciative. I also have purchased things that I read about through this post and have always always been so pleased. So, thank you. And shame on me for not taking the time earlier to say so. I often refer to you and suggest others read the blog. Thank you for being vulnerable and positive. You help me be that way too. Becky
I’m so glad you’ve joined the conversation. This community is filled with wise, loving, supportive women and we all grow stronger together!
I have been reading your blog since late winter and it has really helped me to understand my own style and what I’m comfortable wearing. It has also cost me some money to add pieces that filled out my wardrobe! But I’m really happy with my closet now, thanks to you! I love your style and that you choose comfort WITHOUT losing a sense of style! I look forward to your posts. Keep up the good work!
Insulting opinions – please IGNORE
If you feel confident in your own skin, that’s all that matters.
Please keep producing your fabulous blog for us. Happy Monday!!!
I’m sorry you were subjected to a mean spirited act. Your post today was very informative. I just retired and it’s like I have been put out to pasture. I still do some consulting work and people are shocked when I come to the office well dressed. Your posts have helped me make the transition from work wardrobe to a more casual style that suits me.
I have looked at people in my age group (60’s +) and not agreed with what I see, but I shut up. I’ve also had people say things insulting to me (some in my own family) while good friends are complimentary to me. Yes, it hurts but I would not give these people time or space in your head. I stick with my theory that mean people are unhappy people with low self esteem. And a woman in her 40’s attacking someone in her 60’s – guess what, she’s going to be in her 60’s one day, if she’s lucky! That 40 year old has time on her hands and needs a social life. That being said, what I notice most is not how mature women dress – it’s the hair and makeup that need help. Some women seem to get stuck in what they always did in the past, and it doesn’t work anymore. But I would never ever say something to hurt a person’s feelings. Even if I were asked my opinion, I would proceed with caution!
Since your blog is targeted to women over 60, it makes you wonder why someone in their 40’s is reading your blog. Just browsing the internet and looking for someone to insult?
Hi Jennifer, I’m sorry this happened to you. People seem to be getting so hateful. I know right now many are upset, worried and frustrated, I just wish everyone could find a productive way to channel it. BTW, I’m a retired nurse and spent a couple of years working in a nursing home. I always think you look stylist. What does being “dressed like you’re going to a nursing home” look like anyway🤷♀️😊
That’s what I wondered! Her comment was just meant to insult older women and hurt me. It made no sense
Thank you … that was beautifully said! Some people just seem to have a mean spirit and have a need to put others down. I’m thinking that it’s poor self-esteem.
Keep on sharing. I love how you combine colors and outfits in ways I would never have thought of doing. It has greatly expanded my wardrobe, and I feel great when I wear unique and interesting outfits.
Dear Jennifer, I am a long follower of your Blog- needless to say : I love it! Lot of efforts, tons of inspirations, sometimes I like, sometimes I have to think about suggestions, sometimes I don’t – but: that is life! You do a great Job- thank you! Women going in/out nursing homes do a great Job, too and I think nobody should comment what they wear! You are absolutely correct: we should respect each other – so, bitte,go on and just be….Jennifer!
Thank you und viele Grüße aus Deutschland ( presently in Denmark looking for fashion in small Shops in Blavand/Henne) – yours Angela
Have a fabulous trip!
You are wonderful ❤️
You showed style and class in the way you handled that situation. That other woman clearly has issues!
Well, that person needs to learn kindness and manners, for sure! I am amazed that the anonymity of social media can produce such vile words when people such as yourself work to bring us such quality content. We appreciate you and all the background work you do to create this blog, a daily read to start my day. One thing I particularly like is that you present clothing for the fashion conscious not fashion slaves. I wonder what the nasty person wears? Are they a fashion plate, busy keeping up with every new item on the store racks? My heart is saddened for you and others that receive such comments. Age is a privilege many do not enjoy. We should be proud of it, and others should accept our wisdom. Please know you have a following because we identify with you and appreciate you.
Thanks Irene
I remember seeing the first post and feeling pangs of sadness for you. Feeling it again, that you’re feeling that way. You have wonderful style, and I hope the support here buoys you up today. We want to see and hear what you have to say!!