Ageism and Style Over 60: What a Style Insult Taught Me
Some mornings, I open my phone, and it feels like stepping into a crowded room where everyone is talking at once, with opinions flying and images everywhere. If you’re a woman navigating ageism and style over 60, that noise can feel especially pointed. It can be overwhelming, even when you’ve chosen to be there.
Being online is my choice and my business. I show up here because I care about thoughtful style, real conversation, and the women who read what I share. But even when you choose this path, even when you’re clear on your purpose, there are moments that stop you cold.
A woman recently commented that my outfits reminded her of what she sees on women going in and out of nursing homes. And yes—she meant it as an insult. She wasn’t offering a gentle opinion or a quirky association. She was trying to cut me down.
Now, I’ve been around long enough to know that comments like that say more about the person delivering them than the one receiving them. Still, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t land somewhere. She wanted it to sting. And for a brief moment, it did.
Not because I believe her. But it reminded me how easily age is used as a cheap shot…a quick way to diminish a woman without saying anything of substance. The fact that it came from someone in her 40s adds another layer entirely. It speaks to the way our culture still pits women against each other, feeding us the idea that youth is currency and age is something to fear. That kind of comment isn’t just about me, it’s about the insecurity and internalized ageism that tells younger women they gain value by tearing older ones down.
There’s this tired belief that dressing your age means giving up. That if you choose comfort or subtlety over flash, you’ve somehow surrendered style altogether.
I reject that. I wear what reflects who I am now… a woman with experience, confidence, and a wardrobe that fits my life, not someone else’s expectations. If that’s too subtle or mature for some, so be it.
Judgment is everywhere, but for women over 60, it can feel especially pointed. Choosing to be visible, online or off, is a quiet act of defiance. It’s how we push back against a culture that still hasn’t figured out how to value women as we age.
If you’ve ever hesitated to share a photo or wear what you love because of what someone might say…consider whose voice you’re prioritizing. Let it be your own. The one that knows what fits, what flatters, what feels like you. That’s the voice worth listening to.
I invite you to subscribe to my newsletter here and join our positive conversation about aging in style.
If you’ve ever questioned whether your style is still ‘relevant,’ this post on Style Myths Women Over 60 Should Ignore may feel like a breath of fresh air.
FAQ: Ageism and Style Over 60
Q: What does ageism look like in fashion and personal style?
A: Ageism in fashion often shows up as subtle (or not-so-subtle) criticism when older women dress in ways that reflect who they are, rather than chasing youth. It can sound like backhanded comments, surprise that you “still care about clothes,” or assumptions that style has an expiration date. It’s rooted in the belief that aging should be hidden, rather than lived out loud.
Q: How should women over 60 respond to ageist comments about their appearance or style?
A: With clarity, not apology. You don’t need to defend your age or your style. If someone takes a cheap shot, it says more about their own discomfort with aging than it does about you. Confidence is often the most unsettling outfit of all for people who don’t know how to wear it.
Q: Can personal style really push back against ageism?
A: Absolutely. Every time a woman over 60 dresses for herself…not for approval, not to look younger, but to feel like herself, she’s quietly challenging the idea that aging makes us invisible. Style isn’t just about clothes; it’s about presence. And presence at our age is powerful.
What would you say to a younger woman who’s never been told that aging can be its own kind of freedom?
Jennifer,
I did not see the post you referred to about the ageism and your wardrobe and I’m glad I didn’t.
I am 69 years old and read your posts. Sometimes I think that I wouldn’t wear an item on your blog, but not because it would make me look old, but because it just wouldn’t flatter me or be true to my style. You always look current and well put together.
I just spent five days in Hawaii with 6 of my high school friends. We will all celebrate our 70th birthday this year. There was a wide spectrum of fashion on the trip and everyone looked great but definitely had their own style, from bathing suits to dressing for a luau.
We had fun, supported each other and discussed ageism and how older women are often invisible in our society and how to stay relevant.
Keep up your goo work on the blog. I enjoy reading it.
Allison
Your trip sounds amazing! I love to see other women’s style. It inspires me.
Bravo, Jennifer!
My mother always taught me “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” I agree that the person who made the rude comment is probably insecure about her own appearance and life, therefore, needs to cut someone else down who IS secure in their appearance and life just to feel superior. Looking for attention is her goal. One motto I have is “Sometimes the best response is no response.” When you don’t respond, maybe, just maybe the other person will wonder what they said or did wrong without you having to point it out.
I am a young-looking almost 70-year old. When someone says to me “you don’t look (fill in the blank age)!” I tell them “This is what (the age) looks like!”
Thank you for the replay of this post. I’m keeping it as a confirmation of my own style and life.
Jennifer, my first response to that gal is unprintable actually, but I TOTALLY agree with a statement in FAQ that says presence is EVERYTHING, I am nearing 72, and I have found that women who feel the need to tear down another woman are usually very unhappy about something in their own lives. And though I can sympathize with them for that, I find it deplorable that they feel the need to denigrate another to make themselves feel better. I don’t always agree with you or like some of the things you wear, but, YOU are YOU and I am ME. I love your column and look forward to your posts because another perspective always stretches you to look at new possibilities. Thank you for that. I hope you have a great weekend.
I’m disbelieving of the way some women spew poison at other women. Thank you
I love that you understand where this comment came from but acknowledge that it still stung. Ive been following some blogs where the writer dresses completely different from me. Its fun and freeing to say…thats not my style but she pulls it off beautifully. There is much joy in letting others be themselves and in being kind. Thanks for your ideas,your thoughts and your blog!
It really bothers me that someone could write something so callous and caustic, comparing your style to a nursing home.
I am much older than you, and I am thrilled to still be here and to still enjoy putting on makeup and dressing well. And also thrilled to still be in good health.
Yours is the first blog I have ever read and I enjoy reading what you’ve found and how you’re styling what you have found. I spent many years in retail management as a young college graduate. I appreciate your classic casual, but personal approach to style. A while back there was conversation about “coastal grandma” style. We laughed, but it was real and transcended generations. Please don’t be discouraged by one naysayer. There are many, many others who appreciate you and your posts. I’m one of them.
Thanks Melanie.
A 40 year old often has much to learn, although often they don’t realize it. I truly believe it’s best to speak about what you know. We know what it is like to be 40, she has no clue what it is to be 60 or in my case 70. By our age we aren’t as worried (hopefully) by what others say and can wear what we want with confidence. I hope you keep addressing the mature reader. We need you and I look forward to all your future blogs!
Some people thrive on putting others down in order to build themselves up. We all have choices to make. If someone does not like your style they can choose not to follow you. I am 82 years old, very independent, in good health and often get compliments on my appearance. I enjoy your blog very much and have purchased a few of your suggested outfits. I always get compliments on them. Keep up the good work. You are appreciated.
Thanks Patricia
I’m sorry someone was so harsh with her comments. You do a wonderful sharing content for your readers. It’s easy to throw stones, but what goes around comes around. Let’s hope she ages well. For me I’ll continue to dress to make ME feel good about myself. If I happen to turn heads… that just means they are jealous!
I am so sorry you were the target for this thoughtless woman. Too many people navigate life in Me First mode. My mother, who had great flair & style right up to the day she passed, would have said that (young) woman had too much time on her hands! To comment on a subject she obviously has no understanding of, on the internet, to a stranger only shows her immaturity. You have helped me navigate my 70+ years with your thoughtful look at fashion for “experienced” women. I appreciate you. Thank you.
Bah, humbug I say!
I appreciate your blog and you!
I love your style…there is no way you dress like a “grandma”. Your clothes are very classic and I have gotten a lot of inspiration from your daily newsletter. Just keep up what you are doing…there are many things I have purchased from ideas I read on your posts. Her saying that about you just shows how much she lacks self esteem. Tearing someone down makes her feel better. So sad for her
I really like the quiet looks you modeled today. Keep up the good work.
Wow…I missed seeing that person’s comment. I don’t know why some people feel the need to put others down. Boggles the mind.
You always look put together and well dressed. If that’s how someone dresses when they go to a nursing home, then that’s how I want to dress!!