Ageism and Style Over 60: What a Style Insult Taught Me
Some mornings, I open my phone, and it feels like stepping into a crowded room where everyone is talking at once, with opinions flying and images everywhere. If you’re a woman navigating ageism and style over 60, that noise can feel especially pointed. It can be overwhelming, even when you’ve chosen to be there.
Being online is my choice and my business. I show up here because I care about thoughtful style, real conversation, and the women who read what I share. But even when you choose this path, even when you’re clear on your purpose, there are moments that stop you cold.
A woman recently commented that my outfits reminded her of what she sees on women going in and out of nursing homes. And yes—she meant it as an insult. She wasn’t offering a gentle opinion or a quirky association. She was trying to cut me down.
Now, I’ve been around long enough to know that comments like that say more about the person delivering them than the one receiving them. Still, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t land somewhere. She wanted it to sting. And for a brief moment, it did.
Not because I believe her. But it reminded me how easily age is used as a cheap shot…a quick way to diminish a woman without saying anything of substance. The fact that it came from someone in her 40s adds another layer entirely. It speaks to the way our culture still pits women against each other, feeding us the idea that youth is currency and age is something to fear. That kind of comment isn’t just about me, it’s about the insecurity and internalized ageism that tells younger women they gain value by tearing older ones down.
There’s this tired belief that dressing your age means giving up. That if you choose comfort or subtlety over flash, you’ve somehow surrendered style altogether.
I reject that. I wear what reflects who I am now… a woman with experience, confidence, and a wardrobe that fits my life, not someone else’s expectations. If that’s too subtle or mature for some, so be it.
Judgment is everywhere, but for women over 60, it can feel especially pointed. Choosing to be visible, online or off, is a quiet act of defiance. It’s how we push back against a culture that still hasn’t figured out how to value women as we age.
If you’ve ever hesitated to share a photo or wear what you love because of what someone might say…consider whose voice you’re prioritizing. Let it be your own. The one that knows what fits, what flatters, what feels like you. That’s the voice worth listening to.
I invite you to subscribe to my newsletter here and join our positive conversation about aging in style.
If you’ve ever questioned whether your style is still ‘relevant,’ this post on Style Myths Women Over 60 Should Ignore may feel like a breath of fresh air.
FAQ: Ageism and Style Over 60
Q: What does ageism look like in fashion and personal style?
A: Ageism in fashion often shows up as subtle (or not-so-subtle) criticism when older women dress in ways that reflect who they are, rather than chasing youth. It can sound like backhanded comments, surprise that you “still care about clothes,” or assumptions that style has an expiration date. It’s rooted in the belief that aging should be hidden, rather than lived out loud.
Q: How should women over 60 respond to ageist comments about their appearance or style?
A: With clarity, not apology. You don’t need to defend your age or your style. If someone takes a cheap shot, it says more about their own discomfort with aging than it does about you. Confidence is often the most unsettling outfit of all for people who don’t know how to wear it.
Q: Can personal style really push back against ageism?
A: Absolutely. Every time a woman over 60 dresses for herself…not for approval, not to look younger, but to feel like herself, she’s quietly challenging the idea that aging makes us invisible. Style isn’t just about clothes; it’s about presence. And presence at our age is powerful.
What would you say to a younger woman who’s never been told that aging can be its own kind of freedom?
I was in retail for 18 years but In the past 2 years I have followed you I have learned how to dress to satisfy myself and most importantly to dress with intention. The intention is hardest, I spend time switching out accessories to get it right. But I am loving it and feeling my best at 77. Thank you and do not let one cranky woman get you down!
I’m so happy to hear that! Dressing for how we want to feel is so important!
Well said
Great post today.
I look forward to seeing your blog each day and to see the outfits that you style. I think you always look so classy.
Just like Taylor Swift says, haters gonna hate. Shake it off.
I love 💕everything you say about age and clothing.
Wish I could afford 1/3 of what you show but try to adapt in my price range .
Ps love your new haircut
Yes what people say hurts at times but I try to brush it off
Thankyou and keep on
Diane Ragot from Quebec
My 98 year old mother is still very conscious of what she wears. She has always
said that as you get older you have to be even more conscious of what you wear. She still dresses to suit herself and loves new clothes and is a big fan of scarves, she has many scarves they always brighted up any wardrobe. She is a hard act to follow!
She sounds fabulous. You’re so blessed to have her.
So sad that a stranger feels better about herself by putting another person down. I’ve learned a lot from you, not only about styles that work for me, but also about a better “age” attitude. I have a question about the brooches you’ve been wearing. I have quite a few lovelies from years back. I stopped wearing them because of pinholes in clothing from their useage. Is there a new way of attaching them (I can’t imagine how)? If not how do you handle the 2 little pin pricks on your outfit when not wearing one? Thanks for all you do. Sandra
Amazon carries little magnet sets that you thread on the pin and “stick” to the magnet on the inside of your clothes. I try not to use brooches on delicate fabrics.
Some women can be so cruel! Unfortunately, it starts young. I am a retired high school teacher and the stories I could tell. ( I won’t though.) I would take a classroom full of teenage boys rather than girls any day. LOL
I truly enjoy reading your posts each day. I think you are elegant, kind, and intelligent. You also have such a great sense of who you are. I love your humor.
Thank you for being a true voice for women of a particular age!
Thanks Suzanne.
You are an inspiration to so many ladies who are petite, or short with a little extra flesh, and I have really enjoyed seeing the different outfits you style. I appreciate your dressing room try ons ( it helps me to see how it may look on me). Please continue. I look forward to your blog every day !
Life is too short to let negative opinions ruin your day and get in the way of living well. Whether you prefer casual classic clothing or bohemian style clothing it’s best to avoid hurtful criticisms of other women’s style. I’m not sure if it’s again or just another mean girl comment meant to cut another girl down. That’s been a problem with some women in any age group! Aim to be kind and respectful of everyone!
Kudos to you!!! You responded to this issue beautifully! Love your posts and so do many others! Cheers!!!
I like what you have to offer and enjoy your comments very much.
First of all that was a very unkind, uncalled for comment. If this young lady is fortunate, she will live to our age and have choice in what she chooses to dress and style herself. Kudos on your thoughtful selections and posts!
You are my daily inspiration Jennifer! We seem to be in an era of rudeness online, on the street, in stores and even on the highways. I refuse to give up my manners. I’m 81 now and still like to dress comfortably and nice. My haircut is current and appropriate for my face. Age gives a woman a lot of freedom to be exactly who they are and I’m one of them. Keep on being you Jennifer and I will be here to read your blog everyday.
I’m loving the freedom age brings! Thanks for being here Sydney.I love to hear from you.
Der Jennifer,
Thank you for your post and sharing great style with all your readers.
I will be 70 years of age next month. I too have encountered ageism, and it does hurt. I want you to know that on those days, your post gives me nourishment to keep going. Taking pride in your appearance and wearing stylish comfortable clothes helps me bring my best self to the world.
What would I say to a younger woman who’s never been told that aging can be its own kind of freedom?
As you age, the need to prove yourself fades, allowing a secure, authentic style to emerge. You stop comparing, because you realize your path—and look—is uniquely your own.
Thank you for all your polished and stylish posts.
I LOVE this-“As you age, the need to prove yourself fades, allowing a secure, authentic style to emerge. You stop comparing, because you realize your path—and look—is uniquely your own.”
Well said!!!! Love it 🥰
Loved your response to that little dig! Your style is classy. I vote for dressing well for our age rather than trying to dress like a 20 year old and look silly.
AMEN. JENNIFER.
I love the idea of prioritizing MY voice, something I don’t always do. But I will from now on!
Yay, Barbara!
It’s a Tawanda moment like in the movie “Fried Green Tomatoes”. We can all say “bless your heart” to the woman who left that comment.
LOL
It’s hard to believe anyone could be intentionally hurtful, but it happens. Personally, I feel sorry for that person. Thank you for asserting yourself and encouraging others.