Grandma Style: It’s a Dirty Word
I had an interesting experience last week and the longer I reflect on it, the nastier it feels. If you’ve read me for any length of time you won’t be surprised that when I feel angry about something I like to share a small rant here and get your opinion on it.
I spent several days at a business event with women who were all younger than me. That’s not unusual in my business but it can be unnerving. Most were in their 30’s, some in their late 20’s and one or 2 may have been in their 40’s or 50’s.
We shared a panel to discuss style and fashion in a shopping environment. As the conversations progressed I started tallying how many disparaging remarks were made about “grandma” style. It was made to sound like a fate worse than death.
A dinner conversation turned to how adamant some of their mother’s were that they are never called grandma…ever. They’d chosen other names like Mimi, Gigi, Glamma, etc instead.
When did grandma and granny become offensive titles worthy of contempt?
And just what does grandma style look like? These ladies were talking about frumpy, that dreaded term none of us aspire to. They were categorizing it based on age which is pretty stupid because I’ve seen plenty of frumpy young ladies in my time.
Being young doesn’t mean you’re more stylish or hip. It simply means we’re coming from different places and you’re less experienced. You can may wear higher heels, shorter skirts, and tighter garments but that doesn’t make you superior and it doesn’t make me frumpy.
Even Tim Gunn takes pot shots at grandma style which I find pretty assinine and yet…we all have an image that flashes up when we hear it. Mine is not negative, but then I’m a proud granny and dress with confidence. I’m not offended by the term grandma or granny and hate to hear it being used as an insult.
How about you?
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What do you picture when you hear the term Grandma style? Is it what your grandmother wore? Is it what you wear? Is it frumpy? Is it insulting?
Thanks for reading ladies and as always, I’d love to get your take on this.
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I truly enjoy your posts and how you write. I am a 78 year old lady who loves fashion and style. Every day I get dressed for the occasion and how I feel…. I always have…. Even in high school. We must listen to ourselves or we will lose ourselves.
Thank you for tackling this topic! As I approach my 60th birthday, I just don’t understand the fear of the title of Grandmother. When I get to welcome grandbabies into my life, I will wear the title proudly and carry the banner well! I wouldn’t trade the experience (that goes along with my wrinkles, gray hair, and fading eyesight) I have to go back to my younger years. I love the wisdom that has come with my 59 years!!
I’m so proud to be a grandmother:)
I’m with you! I became “grandma” when I was 44 and never wanted to be called anything other than that! It’s not a dirty word…it is a wonderful word of endearment! And “granny style”? I have no clue what that is! LOL I’m simply me! I love fashion, but like most people, I can fall into a rut now and then. But, then, with a quick perusal of Pinterest and blogs like yours, I’m inspired to step out and update my wardrobe. I turn 56 tomorrow and never felt more confident in my skin! #yaygrandma
Happy Birthday, Joan! Hearing my grandson call me Granny, is a sweet sound. I love it!
This was a great article. I am 60 yrs. old, grandmother of 2 and very happy to be so! I also used that term, as well as “grandpa” to describe clothing that was frumpy. (I have hidden what I called my hubby’s Grandpa jeans). I will now call them frumpy jeans. But I will still hide them! He looks so much better in nice fitting jeans; the frumpy ones look like 2 of him could fit inside. LOL.
I love your blog, and gain a lot of ideas and insights. I often wish I had more female friends that lived close by to chat with about clothing and fashion, etc. Your blog provides that opportunity, I feel like you provide the best conversations! Thank you for sharing your thoughts as well as the great photos and new products.
Thank you for being here Sharon! I’ve hidden frumpy clothes of my husbands too. He never missed them. 🙂
You are so right! Let us as women embrace each stage of life and not diminish another age bracket of women.
I have sadly used that term negatively myself and as it happens in life, when I myself arrived at that point I did not
want to be dismissed as insignificant or something that made one shudder with horror.
Embrace what we are, and lead the way to help promote positivity and confidence no matter at what point in life
you are.
Thanks for addressing this. aging, menopause and more are still taboo topics. It changes one person at a time.
It’s interesting how our perspective changes as we age. Older, wiser and more experienced is also more rewarding. Let’s build up all women.
I, too, could write volumes! Grandma style, to me, would bring up images of Granny of the Beverly Hillbillies, Aunt Bea of The Andy Griffith Show, or Mrs. Doubtfire. As with the phrase, clothing is influenced so much by the delivery, execution, or intent. It would be interesting to know what the younger ladies at your conference were picturing in their minds, as those characters are probably before their time, but clearly they were not thinking of a good look. However, identical classic outfits may look chic on a young lady and frumpy on an older lady. Going beyond your question, I would like to add that retailers and designers could do a better job in their offerings. Listening to stylish over-50 bloggers, such as you, could really benefit them. No doubt they are in a Catch 22–what they manufacture is what sells; what sells is what is available. People with arthritis and other medical issues, and are on a fixed income, need better choices. I understand that there are a lot of post-menapausal women, like myself, who begin to expand in the middle, many are arthritic and it hurts to fasten buttons, many have incontinence problems and need clothing that is easy to clean, and can’t afford to spend a lot on an outfit. I feel depressed when I see so much polyester and ugly color combinations as choices for people of a certain age and body type, even in department stores such as Macy’s. Is that ever what anyone seeks out–a tacky polyester outfit, head to toe? Maybe a Project Runway for seniors is needed!
So much wisdom in your comment Linda! Thank you for sharing. None of us go hunting for those tacky polyester outfits. And yet…they’re everywhere. Who do they think we are and what do they think we want to wear? It’s a shame brands are so clueless. I’m always happy to share my opinion in the hopes they will hear.
My Mom has been a grandma to 6 for the last 30 years and she is more stylish now at 80 than she was when she was 40!
That’s awesome Lori! Style has no age
Agree, I don’t like or appreciate the term “grandma style”. It’s terribly insulting to women of a certain age. I am a grandmother and love it, although when my grands were little and trying to say “grandma,” somehow it came out “yaya” and to this day, I am called YaYa and I LOVE it.
It was condescending. I’m not sure the young women realized it at the time.
Taking any term that is used as a title for a group of people and using that word as an insult on any level is marginalizing, disempowering, thoughtless, and unimaginative. We should all be better than that.
I agree. Thank you Melissa
Frumpy is not an age but a poorly developed sense of style. Some ladies just don’t care what they wear. Some ladies just can’t figure out their style. Those of us who read you, care and like to learn. We don’t want to be frumpy.
Thank you Linda!
Oh boy!I’m not a grandma but I’m upset that there are such condescending attitudes out there.It does not surprise me,as we live in an age that youth dominates and older people do not command as much respect.Do they realise how insulting it is to use the the term “granny style”?Probably not.I am sure they feel “better” about themselves when they look down on others.
Be proud Jennifer of who you are and continue to dress in style and inspire us readers.
PS I’m 64,have 3 children and no prospects of grandchildren,other than the furry kind.I’ve got a grandpug and grandkitty 🙂
Thank you Julie! I am proud of all of us, we are an amazing demographic.
Hi Jennifer. I’m a new fan of yours at 52 and really love the styles you present! Great inspiration!! More importantly, my mom still has amazing style at 79 and is so proud to be called Grammy!! My 20 year old daughter thinks I need to take style tips from her Grammy and I can’t argue with her! I aspire to be a well styled grandma myself someday. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!!
Hi Stephanie! Welcome and thanks for sharing. With your heritage, I’m sure you will be:)