How to Get Into the Holiday Spirit When You’re Not Feeling It

Some Years Are Just Harder

There are years when you can’t wait to deck the halls. Then there are years when the thought of untangling lights feels like a personal attack.

Maybe you’re juggling too much. Maybe the holidays remind you of someone you’re missing. Or maybe you’re just tired. Mentally, emotionally, and physically tired. I know I am.

Whatever the reason, not feeling festive doesn’t make you a Grinch. It makes you human.

The truth is, life doesn’t pause for the holidays. Sometimes the joy takes a little coaxing, and that’s perfectly fine. It’s not about plastering on a smile. It’s about finding small sparks that still feel like you.

Redefine What Festive Means

Somewhere along the line, festive became synonymous with doing the absolute most. Perfectly wrapped gifts. Homemade everything. Themed tablescapes. Coordinated family outfits. (Who started that tradition anyway?)

This year, what if the festive season looked a little simpler? Maybe it’s lighting a candle that smells vaguely like cinnamon rolls. Or buying pre-wrapped gifts and calling it a day. Maybe it’s doing less and actually enjoying more.

If the idea of decorating your whole house makes you want to hide under a blanket, start with one corner. A candle, a vase of greenery, a string of twinkle lights. Done.

For me, it’s the little things. The smell of pine, a quiet evening in fuzzy socks, or hanging out with my grandson. If that’s all the holiday spirit I can muster, it’s enough.

2. Pick One Festive Outfit Piece

CASHMERE V-NECK SWEATER size M / STRAIGHT-LEG VELVETEEN PANTS IN LEOPARD PRINT size 10 petite

Nothing boosts my mood faster than clothes that feel like an occasion. I don’t mean sequins, unless you love them. I mean something that feels special, like a cashmere wrap or sweater, a velvet blazer, or even a red lip. If all else fails, pajamas count, especially if they’re soft enough to make you cancel plans.

3. Smell Is Powerful

My Favorite Reed Diffuser

A candle, essential oil, or diffuser can do what a playlist can’t. Scents like pine, clove, or orange instantly set the scene without any effort.

4. Create a Mini Ritual

Maybe it’s watching your favorite movie, sipping hot cocoa at night, or writing cards by hand. Tiny traditions bring a sense of continuity even when everything else feels different.

5. Get Outside

When all else fails, step outside. A brisk walk resets your mood better than any sugar cookie. Bonus points if you admire a few Christmas lights.

Connection Helps

There’s this idea that the holidays are all about togetherness. And they are, in theory. But if large gatherings leave you feeling drained, you’re not obligated to attend every single one.

Instead, choose the connections that feel good. Invite a friend for coffee. Drop off cookies to a neighbor. Send a card to someone who’s had a rough year.

If you’re alone this season, make it intentional. Plan a day you actually want. Cook something indulgent, watch a favorite movie, or spend the day in cozy clothes without an ounce of guilt.

Simplify Everything

If you’re struggling to feel festive, the last thing you need is more pressure. Let’s be honest. Most of us are doing way too much.

Try this instead:

• Skip a tradition. If it doesn’t bring joy, retire it. The family recipe no one actually likes can go.
• Say no more often. A polite “I’ll have to pass this year” works wonders.
• Buy the cookies. The bakery won’t judge you.
• Pick your battles. If the lights go up crooked, consider it character.

The holidays don’t need to be perfect to be meaningful. In fact, the imperfect years often stick with you the most, usually because you learned to let something go.

When the Funk Feels Deeper

If the season feels particularly heavy, please don’t white-knuckle it alone. Sometimes it’s more than a slump. Talk to someone. A friend, a therapist, your doctor. There’s no shame in admitting you need help.

Joy might feel far away, but it’s still possible. It just might look quieter this year, and that’s perfectly fine.

Remember…Festive Isn’t a Competition

The longer I live, the more I’m convinced the holidays are less about cheer and more about pacing. Some years, you glide right in. Other years, you feel like you’re merging onto a highway where everyone else is already going eighty. With cookies.

You don’t have to match anyone’s speed. Let the enthusiastic bakers and décor lovers do their thing. If your contribution this year is lighting a candle and remembering where you hid the gift wrap, that counts in my book.

And honestly, half the people who look wildly festive are probably just as tired…they’re simply better at disguising it with twinkle lights.

So if your holiday spirit shows up late or lightly caffeinated, welcome it anyway.

What’s one small thing that feels doable for you this season… besides hiding until January?