Monday Musings- Arrogance and Cover-ups
Happy Monday, ladies. Monday musings are never planned. I just start typing and it pours out, so hang on for a twisty ride 🙂
Our weekend was a chilly one. Not because the weather was cold but because our furnace is broken. Please pardon the upcoming rant…I detest arrogant men.
Repair Men
Our furnace has been on the fritz for several weeks. It seems to have a mind of its own and only comes on when it feels like it. Our warranty company sent a repair guy out to diagnose the problem. He was one of those morons who discounts women and would only talk to the “man of the house”.
The problem is, my husband didn’t pay much attention to what was happening with the furnace. He knew it was broken but I knew how to explain it exactly. I’m the one who adjusts the temperature throughout the day, listens to it, and knows what it’s doing or not doing.
He declared our zone motor was broken and it’s not covered by our warranty. I tried to explain how it was acting because his diagnosis didn’t sound right to me. This repair guy wouldn’t even look towards me when I spoke to him so I knew he wasn’t listening.
He said we were on the hook to fix it because our contract doesn’t cover that and he wouldn’t do it. We hired someone to replace that motor, which they confirmed was “acting up”, but the following day, the furnace was back to acting exactly the same as before and we are $600 poorer.
How do you deal with men like that?
Bathing suits and such
I’ve been so cold the last few weeks that we’ve decided to plan a few warm-weather trips. We’re going to visit my brother in Loreto Bay, Mexico which I am super excited about, and have a very quick trip to Hawaii planned. Of course, both of those destinations will require a bathing suit. Sheesh.
My one and only bathing suit is hanging along with my exercise band on the key to my armoire to remind me I’ll soon be walking down a beach. Muscle tone is not overrated 🙂 Here’s the thing…even if I had the rock-hard body of a goddess, I’m more modest at 65, and I just don’t want everything on display so I’m exploring swim dresses and swim rompers.
Swimsuit alternatives
I’m thinking kaftans, and coverups will be my friend on these trips. I’ll be packing hats, copious amounts of sunscreen and am shopping for casual clothes and coverups with sun protection built-in.
Sun-protective fashion on my radar
My brother’s latest book
My brother Pete’s latest adventure book for children is out and you can order it here! I loved his first one and I’m collecting them for when my grandson gets a few years older. Peter is the one in our family who really inherited my Dad’s love of storytelling and writing. It’s a tale of magic, time travel, fairies, and dragons…perfect for the young children in your life.
A new “live”
One of my favorite, (perhaps the only) part of Instagram I enjoy is the Live chats. Susan from une femme d’un certain âge and I are going LIVE to chat on Tuesday at 10 am PT, 1 pm ET. The topic is going gray. This promises to be lots of fun! Susan is hosting and you can watch us here.
Thanks for reading ladies and remember to wear what makes you feel confident.
Yikes! We don’t have a home warranty, and now I am not inclined to get one. We are lucky to have a reliable group of service people who are polite and do good work.
A few years ago, my husband suffered from reverse gender stereotyping. He still bristles about it. We both worked full time out of the home, so when service people who only worked when we worked (e.g. 9 to 5 M-F), one of us would have to schedule time off to stay home. My husband could more easily arrange to be at home when an installer arrived with our custom drapes. When the installer arrived, he informed my husband that only “the wife” could sign off on his work. Apparently they went back and forth, until my husband called me at work. When the installer got on the line, I gave my husband “complete authority” ( at the installer’s request) and informed him that I was not going to take a day off work so a woman could look at his work. So the drapes went up, along with my husband’s blood pressure.
Some people have apparently failed customer service training.
Hope your furnace holds up!
That’s a wonderful story
can’t wait for your going gray video. I to am going gray and many others I know are also. Even much younger ladies. I think we are tired of being manipulated and told
How we should look.
I think you are right
Thank you for mentioning your brother’s book. I’ll check it out. I love that kind of fiction. I also like all the romper bathing suits; the two blue ones over the black, though.
Swimsuits -ugh…Since I haven’t been to the beach forever and only need swimwear when riding in a ski boat or dipping into the lake, I have resorted to wearing swim-shorts (on clearance from Athleta) an exercise top that doubles when I go to Zumba or Pilates, and a longsleeve ‘rashguard’ style coverup. I have a dear friend that wears a longsleeve Coolibar tunic shirt over the top of her suit. She’s tall and it looks great on her, I’m not sure I could pull it off. Good luck with your search.
Hopefully your husband would have supported you. Sometimes its not worth the battle. I would have just gotten my husband and hopefully he would of said you should really listen to my wife. She really knows what’s going on. I would definitely complain to the company on so.e level!
Hi Jennifer,
I have dealt with men like your repair man…many times. The way I deal with it is to have my husband say to the person that he should listen to me because I know more about it than he (my husband) does. That usually works.
Ugh, bathing suits! I guess it is time to think about that. I was surprised that sizes are out of stock already, but I guess people are buying year round anymore.
Lucky you getting to some warm places. Have fun soaking up some sun!
Good Monday Morning…☕️ I loved reading many of the replies, and certainly see myself in some of them…I fall into the “ you may leave now and your company will be getting my feedback… loved the one about taking the man’s picture! 👍
The reverse happened to my former husband and me. He had become paraplegic in his late thirties, and many people would speak to me, not him in the wheelchair, as if his brain wasn’t working . He was a neurologist! I would subtlety turn away, so the speaker would have to engage with him. Amusing , but unfortunate bias.
Lucky you to make a chilly house a reason to go and find warmth 😎
I have never had great thighs, and realized that swimsuits don’t come that long! Unless I become a Victorian!
I have had cellulite since I was a slim teen, so always looking for a thicker material across my bottom…which is actually difficult to find…since mostly tummy control selections. I use a wrap( Mexican or Hawaiian) that matches a good suit for swimming ( polyester is best since it lasts ) and feel quite confident. A stylish caftan is great for more public water areas. I think some of your readers ideas are excellent, and agree about the swim skirt… too much fabric, and instantly aging.
Acceptance is an art … especially useful as we age!
PS Jennifer, you keep up with your Monday Musings…always enjoyable reading.
I can relate to your disgust re: the repair guy. We had gutter and drain issues. I am the one who went out in the rain, took pictures of the problem area, and knew the history of repairs and cleaning. I was responsible for hiring and overseeing the job. One company had a young man (sounded like a teen) answering the phones. He wouldn’t even let me make an appointment without my husband. I hadn’t even said I was married. I told him I was the decion maker for this repair, and my first decision was to not consider his company for the job, then I hung up.
I am a big fan of your blog and I love your many helpful tips relating to dressing well,health and even household tips! I don’t mind you venting about arrogant service people. I have had my share of them,also. I think it is nice that you have had many helpful suggestions on getting good service!
Your blog feels like a wonderful community of caring women! It surprises me when you have a negative comment from someone who criticizes you for venting! Keep up the good work you do on your blog!
I am looking forward to your live chat tomorrow, Anything to do with grey hair is of interest to me now. I need to buy shampoo and conditioner soon and welcome any suggestions. My hair is still too short to tell what the final texture will be – it’s still baby fine at this stage, but the colour is definitely bright white.
As for your upcoming trips – I’m envious and will be living vicariously through you 🙂
I am so sorry that you got such a nasty man looking at your furnace. You might want to look into buying totally new equipment from a reliable company and using their extended warranty, that is what we do.
I have friends using those home appliance warranties that are supposed to cover everything in their house but out of all of them, only one got things covered to their satisfaction .
I am sorry that man was so ugly to you.
I travel to Maui several times a year and appreciate your ideas for warm weather fashion. I have two dresses from Cabana Life which I wear frequently! The high quality and versatility of these dresses makes them my go-to items when on Maui. And they never wrinkle!
I always enjoy your blog. I am also making the slow switch to gray (with the help of my stylist who weaves in the gray with the blonde). I’m liking it and at the same time wondering who this older woman is!
I have dealt with men like that before. You just want to kick them in the shins and scream “listen to me!!” When I can, I will call a manager and complain about them.
I am 76 and since we have a cottage at a lake I still need a bathing suit. I tried one once with a skirt but it made me feel even older so now I just wear a cover-up when I can. Enjoy your trips and warm sunshine !
Luckily so far (knocking on wood) the repair men I’ve encountered have been polite and efficient- they actually diagnose and fix things. They’ve question one of us on the phone call first, and do have the part on the truck! Yay! The arrogance I’ve encountered were our last house painters. Didn’t listen and argumentative. So I get it! I am sorry about lack of heat. That is bad! Well, do enjoy your two vacations to warmer places! That’s one solution. Yes- I hate my two bathing suits and will try to find suits that flatter. I like the caftan idea!
I too have a home warranty program that I have been with for years. The contractors they assign have no choice but to deal with me because I live alone. Only once has a plumber been so obnoxious that, although he did the repair work, I told the warranty company not to send him again when I had another problem. My latest problem is getting the electrician that the warranty company assigned to even call to set up an appointment. My understanding is that contractors seek work from warranty companies so that is who you should complain too in these situations because they certainly want your money. I have only used my warranty policy roughly four times in the last 20 years.
So frustrating!!!
Ok to vent! Look forward to your musings and todays only makes you more relatable ❣️ Tankinis are my go to now in my 60’s. I mix and match the tops and bottoms. The swim mini bottoms from Lands end offer just enough coverage without being annoying in the water.
Want to grow out my hair but with my current caramel brown color it seems a long road of living with a skunk stripe. Not sure how to do it.
Thanks again for the daily posts.
A good colorist can help ease the grow out with some highlights
Bathing suit shopping, yuck! I can’t do that any more . . . . summer dresses are more my style these days!
Idiot service tech . . . . . my husband has stepped in before and told techs to listen to what I’m explaining. The company should make this right for you in some way.
I am looking forward to hearing you and Susan’s live post tomorrow on going gray. I decided to stop coloring in April of 2020 when the pandemic first hit and now, almost two years later, I am artificially color-free. My hair color was like yours and Susan’s and I will be honest, I do miss it. I look at pictures and think I look younger and it was so pretty. Then I remind myself of the unhealthiness of coloring (dry, color fade…) the cost, and the time spent in the stylists chair…and I’m happy I did.
NOW the big question, does going from blonde to gray change my “colors” of what I wear? Does the colors that flattered my blonde work with gray? When someone mentions that top looks good on me, that color looks pretty, I pay attention to what color it is.
I’ll be interested in hearing what you both have to say about this and watch as you progress through the grow out. I enjoy your posts tremendously. Thank you.
I think for many of us they can shift if our value contrast changes and as our skin ages.
I agree completely with the others who said, “find another repair person.” Some people just aren’t living in this century and it’s a waste of time to try to change them. But do complain to the company who sent that person out and find another contractor who is polite and will listen to you.
Regarding the bathing suit, I have a huge birthmark on my thigh (it’s faded over the years) and I always struggled to cover it up. Bathing suits with skirts are helpful, but once in the water, the skirts either cling uncomfortably or ride up from the water. I now wear separates from Lands End, with a long top and 2 bottom options: swim shorts with a bikini bottom attached, or separate bikini bottom and shorts. I no longer care who stares at my birthmark, they are being rude.
I live by myself and own a home. I could write a book about repair people. I also have had shoddy work done and feel that if I were a man it would be a lot different.