Monday Musings- Arrogance and Cover-ups
Happy Monday, ladies. Monday musings are never planned. I just start typing and it pours out, so hang on for a twisty ride 🙂
Our weekend was a chilly one. Not because the weather was cold but because our furnace is broken. Please pardon the upcoming rant…I detest arrogant men.
Repair Men
Our furnace has been on the fritz for several weeks. It seems to have a mind of its own and only comes on when it feels like it. Our warranty company sent a repair guy out to diagnose the problem. He was one of those morons who discounts women and would only talk to the “man of the house”.
The problem is, my husband didn’t pay much attention to what was happening with the furnace. He knew it was broken but I knew how to explain it exactly. I’m the one who adjusts the temperature throughout the day, listens to it, and knows what it’s doing or not doing.
He declared our zone motor was broken and it’s not covered by our warranty. I tried to explain how it was acting because his diagnosis didn’t sound right to me. This repair guy wouldn’t even look towards me when I spoke to him so I knew he wasn’t listening.
He said we were on the hook to fix it because our contract doesn’t cover that and he wouldn’t do it. We hired someone to replace that motor, which they confirmed was “acting up”, but the following day, the furnace was back to acting exactly the same as before and we are $600 poorer.
How do you deal with men like that?
Bathing suits and such
I’ve been so cold the last few weeks that we’ve decided to plan a few warm-weather trips. We’re going to visit my brother in Loreto Bay, Mexico which I am super excited about, and have a very quick trip to Hawaii planned. Of course, both of those destinations will require a bathing suit. Sheesh.
My one and only bathing suit is hanging along with my exercise band on the key to my armoire to remind me I’ll soon be walking down a beach. Muscle tone is not overrated 🙂 Here’s the thing…even if I had the rock-hard body of a goddess, I’m more modest at 65, and I just don’t want everything on display so I’m exploring swim dresses and swim rompers.
Swimsuit alternatives
I’m thinking kaftans, and coverups will be my friend on these trips. I’ll be packing hats, copious amounts of sunscreen and am shopping for casual clothes and coverups with sun protection built-in.
Sun-protective fashion on my radar
My brother’s latest book
My brother Pete’s latest adventure book for children is out and you can order it here! I loved his first one and I’m collecting them for when my grandson gets a few years older. Peter is the one in our family who really inherited my Dad’s love of storytelling and writing. It’s a tale of magic, time travel, fairies, and dragons…perfect for the young children in your life.
A new “live”
One of my favorite, (perhaps the only) part of Instagram I enjoy is the Live chats. Susan from une femme d’un certain âge and I are going LIVE to chat on Tuesday at 10 am PT, 1 pm ET. The topic is going gray. This promises to be lots of fun! Susan is hosting and you can watch us here.
Thanks for reading ladies and remember to wear what makes you feel confident.
After spending a fortune on highlights and lowlights, I decided to let my hair grow out naturally….because of all the colors, it was almost impossible to tell new growth from the highlights….so now I’m totally white, get oodles of compliments from women who tell me they wish their hair looked as pretty as mine….course that’s not appealing to live with the change rather than overnight. I’ve saved lots of $$$$. Now instead of being a blue-eyed blonde, I’m a “white-hair” blonde.
I would for you to do a post on swim coverups. I am looking for a light , airy one- but not see thru, that goes almost to my knee and long sleeves.. I am thinking linen.. too many are very short, and very see thru ..
I have to confess I often make my husband deal with repair people and contractors because I know he will get better service.
I did fire a financial advisor years ago because he was arrogant, condescending and used a belittling attitude. We found a better advisor and never looked back.
I agree about modest clothes in general. it’s not so much about covering flaws as it is about comfort for me. I have found swim shorts and tankinis can be a good option fo the beach, but I still prefer a one piece most of the time because I am an apple shape and my legs are ok.
We are far too obsessed with perfection. I agree with others who have noticed that other cultures are much more accepting of loose bits and wrinkles.
I understand your frustration with repair men. I’m usually the only one home when they come and sometimes I feel like we’re on different planets! I really hate wearing a bathing suit. I’m down to just one now because I don’t want to try them on. Your brothers book looks awesome.
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Absolutely love your blog!
Gave up on home warranties years ago – they seldom cover what you need & the repair people they send are not always the best.
Good for you booking a couple of warm getaways! I must say I swear by Miraclesuit tankinis and have done for years. I’m tall, long-waisted, 165 lbs. & 70 yrs old, and can always find something I feel comfortable wearing, and the huge thing is that Miraclesuits hold you in, thereby slenderizing you! Started wearing them in my late 40s! Even my 34 year old daughter loves them. Please note however that I buy a size 12 Miraclesuit even though I wear a 10 for almost everything. I do not care for tight fits, although my daughter is fine with it and wears her regular size.
Linda: I also like Miraclesuits. The slenderizing effect and quality are unmatched and my closet proudly houses 7, one for every day of the week 😉 Miraclesuit also has mix and match tankinis, swim skirts and numerous levels of supportive tops. The extra $$$ are well worth the expenditure as these suits will many years of confidence building.
Ha! That rant was just a mild complaint! You are too polite. 😊
I, too, detest that sort of treatment, and it happens all too often. I continue to grow bolder, and less polite as I get older, and have reached a point where I will “let them have it!” (As we say in the South.) “Them” being the mansplainers and rude chauvinistic “professional” males. My husband is supportive, and will tell them they need to listen to me, LOL. Enjoyed this, and kudos to you for your strength, as well as your grace!!!😊
My arrogant male experience was purchasing a car — three times we left dealerships without a new car — and we had the check with us to buy all three times — because male salespeople refused to acknowledge my presence, voice, preferences, and would only speak to my husband. To the third, I finally locked his eyes into mine and said, “I am the one buying this car – got it?” He looked over at my husband, lol. It led me to wonder if there is any ingrained way women regularly discount men, but I couldn’t think of any.
For the bathing suit now, it is an easy call for me. Solumbra full cover. I’ve had my first skin cancer and will be respecting my skin from here on.
Wishing you lovely travels to warm places, and that maybe some day a repair woman will show up knowing how to listen.
We went to Maui in October, I bought a skirt from Ripskirt Hawaii and a front tie cardigan. At the time their sun hoody was out of stock but one of our guest had 2 and I plan to buy one soon. For river or ocean ware I have a tankini top and super light weight capris from Columbia clothing that dries quickly. I want my knees covered! The Ripskirt is my bathing suit cover up for pools!
Check out Lands End for bathing suits. I mix and match tankini tops and swim bottoms w/skirts. Many choices.
I have several on order. They seem to be everyone’s favorite
Sorry you had to deal with heater issues and service people. I hate arrogance! Luckily, I am knowledgeable in repairing many things around my home because my dad taught me when I was a teen. He believed I was capable of doing anything my brother could do. I’ve found that some service and repair people are very condescending and patronizing, especially to women over a certain age.
I personally do not tolerate that type of behavior. I remember years ago when my husband and I had our own business and a couple employees would not follow my directions. My husband spoke to them and informed them that they had better respect me and do as I said because I could fire them as easily as he could. Boy, that quickly changed their attitudes and I never had any other problems.
Swimsuits are another thing! I’ve tried the swim skirts and prefer ‘boy shorts’ type swim bottoms. I’m going Hawaii the end of March and will be taking two black swim bottoms and 3 or 4 swim tops for the week, including a black one that looks Iike I’m wearing a solid black one piece. Cover ups are my friend and I have several in a variety of styles.
Arrogant service people and swimsuits in the same post! Wow! I’m going to need a stiff cup of coffee for this! Ha!
Along with so many others, I’ve been there! I was once intimidated but now I am honest and frank in my approach. I guess that working with surgeons for over 30 years and lots of education on crucial conversations helped me learn how to best respond. I’m glad that you can ventilate here with us. It’s your blog and we get it! Thanks.
Regarding swimsuits, Lands End is my go to. Enjoy planning for your well deserved time away, Jennifer!
Lands’ End swimsuit separates are the best.
The first thing you need to do is call the warranty company and report that man to his supervisor – or maybe the head of the office or of the company. Tell how you were treated and that he mis-diagnosed your furnace and how are they going to pay for it? I would even suggest as going so far as seeing if you can find a lawyer that wouldn’t charge an arm and a leg. I would report the man and the company to the Better Business Bureau in your area. Also – a fun threat – and easy enough to carry out: do you have a local TV station that looks into customer complaints? If so, threaten to do that – or, if the warranty company has a FB page, post a complaint there. You can call your local Chamber of Commerce and see if they can help. And the man who installed the motor? He also made an error – what is he doing to rectify that? And you can threaten to call the state Attorney General – that’s the office that takes care of bad business practices. I highly recommend you be very pro-active here – you do not deserve to be treated like that (I was hoping all of those guys were dead by now! Lol), but they need to be reported – plus it was their mistake and they should pay the bill. Sometimes even threatening to call a lawyer helps. Make a plan of attack and be firm with whoever you talk to! Hope something here helps!
Thanks, Alysan!
Oh my, can so relate to arrogant men. If I had a nickel for every one of those, I’d be a millionaire . They are promptly asked to leave my home, my yard, my garage, etc., and notified I will be calling their boss. Amazing how fast they call on the way out to their car, to tell “their story” . One day a young man was repairing my garage door. Was clearly having a bad day. Instead of asking him to leave, we had a chat about his attitude. I told him I was sorry he was having a bad day, but wanted to make sure he understood how he wore that attitude..he was embarrassed, kept his head up and finished the job. And yes, I did indeed call his employer, and the good friend that recommended them.
Ok, rant over😁
Love the high neck Magic Suit! I can’t bare any sun on my chest, so that really appeals to me!
I hate getting sun on my chest too. It burns no matter what I put on it
The repairman you had was so rude and sexist I would have told him so. Insults to my intelligence are not welcome. Then I would call the main office and tell them about his condescending remarks.
Your bathing suits are very flattering. I didn’t realize how nice the one- piece suits have become. The tankini is my choice because it’s easier for me and there is a choice of bottoms if you want more coverage. And it’s less hassle to use the restroom.
Happy traveling!
This is a great post and I totally relate to all of it!! – I think of Monday musings as just that – as if I’m sitting across the table from a friend and we say what’s on our mind at the moment!! Unfortunately, if I’m ignored or dissed by a man, I usually rant to my husband – as if HE”S the problem – that’s not all that helpful!! As for bathing suits, I swim 3x/week for fitness and think nothing of throwing on my speedo, but if I go on a holiday the suit becomes a big deal!! – so I wear my speedo, but also wear a long sleeved swim shirt or rashguard over top and water going capris or even full length tights on the bottom – they can be swum in, protect from the sun, and keep me warmer in the water – if I don’t plan on swimming, I just wear a sundress and a hat and sit in the shade:) – that’s my current solution!
I am unlikely to swim as I don’t like the water, but I’m sure I need to be prepared. I love the sundress, sunhat scenario
You go, Mona! That’s what I was going to say — don’t worry about what other people think about your bathing suit. They really aren’t at the beach to look at you. Wear what you like and be proud of who you are today.
I bought a bikini 9 years ago for my Hawaii wedding trip. I wore it once to attempt to get some color to go with my white sundress / wedding dress, but it was March and sprinkling on me at the hotel pool. Living in Oregon, I haven’t had the need to wear a bathing suit since, but I still have it and would still rock it!
I was a single parent and homeowner for 18 years. I had a vw mechanic try to convince me that my car needed a new engine when I knew it had a blown head gasket. If so-called service people (of either gender) won’t treat you with respect, don’t give them your business. The communication is not likely to improve, and it’s not worth the aggravation. I think some men are intimidated by women because they can’t keep up with how fast our superior brains work!
That last statement, says it all 🙂
I feel your pain with the Bathing suits ! I really love the Landsend tankinis. I buy the swim shorts and I tankini top and they look really great. Much better on me than showing things I prefer to keep covered.
Also they are on sale right now.
I am checking them out, thanks
While a bit pricy, Coolibar has fabulous SPF clothing – thats all they sell. I have several tops and coverups – purchased from Coolibar but I have found their basic Tees on Amazon. They guarantee SPF coverage for the life of the product!
As for the repair man – I would have booted him out and tried a different company. I have no “man of the house” so he would have spent very little time in my house. So sorry you exprienced that!