Putting Down Roots
Happy Wednesday ladies. My posts have been sporadic lately and I thought I would explain why. My husband and I have struggled with where to retire for some time so last year we decided to kick ourselves in the pants into high gear. Although we had no clear vision of where we wanted to live, we sold our home and rented a house in an active retirement community. We wanted to be sure we liked the area and lifestyle before buying a house.
We haven’t rented since college so this has been interesting. It’s refreshing to simply call the landlord when the air conditioning breaks (twice), or the sink leaks or the blind breaks. Not having the financial or personal responsibility to repair things is lovely. What’s not lovely is being told your lease isn’t being renewed.
Two weeks ago our landlord let us know they plan to renovate this house and move in. Our carefree enjoyment quickly turned to anxiety and we recognized the major downside to renting is that you have no control over how long you can live in a place.
Never mind that you have to live with someone else’s tacky drapes, and outdated appliances. I ignored the boring white walls, but quite honestly… I hate not being able to put my stamp on a place. I also miss seeing my favorite things which we mercifully left packed in boxes, stacked in the garage.
Moving is a monumental pain and very stressful. We haven’t come close to finding our be all and end all house to stay in for the rest of our lives, but we sure don’t want to move often.
We started viewing open houses here a few weeks ago but things are pretty scarce. We’ve got a trip planned to Palm Springs and plan to look at houses while we’re there. Housing prices are lower in Palm Spring and many people happily retire there but I’m not sure I want to move that far away from everything I’ve known for the last 41 years.
My only grandson is here which is priceless and we have lifelong friendships we continue to nurture that are a short 2-hour drive away. Starting over where we don’t know anyone doesn’t really appeal but we’re keeping our options open.
I didn’t attempt to put down any roots here because I knew it was temporary but this has made me realize I prefer roots. Unlike my adventurous mother, I don’t have a gypsy type bone in my body. So although I love to travel, I am a homebody at heart and want a home of my own.
I’ll keep you posted on our adventures looking for a new home. Between you and I, I secretly hope it needs renovating so we can make it look and function exactly the way we like.
Have you moved in retirement?
How smooth was the process for you?
Thanks for reading and have a great day.
Hi Jennifer, I just had a chance to read your post & I can totally relate. My husband & I are not retired yet, but in our early 50’s. However, we have moved around a lot & like you, I really don’t like it. Originally, we moved out of California for a job opportunity he accepted, & for the same reason we moved again 3 years later to yet another state. When we decided to return 4 years later, I couldn’t wait to come back home to Northern California to reconnect with everything & everyone familiar. Though, I was originally up for the moves to other states (Idaho & Tennessee), I found out quickly that what I expected to dislike (Weather, cultural differences) didn’t bother me at all. What I found really bothered me was that I missed everything I had lived around & everyone I had in my life for my entire life. Visits from familiar faces are few & far between & don’t make up for the day to day interactions one gives up. Now, I am back home & I have told my husband I am not leaving again & he feels the same. I know it’s more cost effective to live in other states & that we would have a larger, but cheaper home. I just no longer care. I would say this to you, if you are feeling hesitant about a large relocation then listen to that feeling. I had it & ignored it. I would rather live in small home where I want to be than in a mansion somewhere else.
I totally agree. I know we are sacrificing the size of home we can buy but it’s worth it to me. I do wish we were a bit closer to the Bay Area but it’s only a 2 hour drive and for now, I want to be close to my grandson.
I am retired, my husband 2-3 years out. About 4 years ago, after out last child left home, we moved to be closer to his office, about an hour away. Our daughter lives there, it just seemed like a no brainer. We felt sure it was a good place to retire. What we had not understood was the value of the roots we had established in the community we had lived in since we were college students. After three years of absolute misery we sold our house and moved back “home”. We were 8 minutes from our daughter and family, we had our dream home, but it was just not enough. I always tell this story to people looking at where to live in retirement. We are two introverts and that, I am sure, made establishing connection harder. It is just very, very hard to find your place if you do not work and you do not have children. Everyone is different, and I do believe if one part of a couple is more extroverted it can be much easier…just worth considering when looking at where to retire. I call it our Wizard of Oz experience! LOL
Thank you for sharing your experience with us, Ellen. History and roots in a place are so important.
We retired twenty-five miles north of two of our thee sons and four of our seven grandchildren in 2011. We were new to the area so family was the draw. I cannot tell you how grateful I am for our time living close to them in the early years. Now that they are older it is harder to schedule time for spend the nights and hanging out. Our retirement community is large and filled with activities and amenities that I would not have if I lived in the city nearer them. Last year we took the plunge and bought in a high rise condo in San Diego to be near the third son and three other grandchildren. It seemed that every expensive trip we made to visit found them tied up with work and school so our actual visit was always compressed. We did rent before we made the condo purchase.
Thank you for sharing Susan. Your choices sound like they worked out well for you.
Jennifer, I am sorry you are having to move again so soon. I know you started your initial moving process just prior to when I did in the fall. We are not settled yet, and I cannot fathom having to do it again. However, you did consider it temporary and maybe it gave you more wisdom as to what your “must have’s” in your permanent move will be. This was our permanent move and although I like most of our decisions, we still didn’t get everything right and are adjusting. I hope you find a place that looks like home to you and will feel like home within a minimal amount of time. (((Hugs))) as you do it again.
Thank you so much Beverly. It is a daunting task, as you know. I hope you settle in soon. Xx
I feel like I’m in the minority here with all you lovely ladies. Having two houses to divide your time between? Living in Europe part of the year? Moving across the country? Retirement for my husband and me will be here in the house we built, on land his parents bought in 1940. Looking forward to a little travel, but happy to be home, enjoying grandchildren nearby. We worked hard all these years at regular jobs, saving for this time. Not a lot of money, but still so happy and excited about this new chapter! However different retirement may look for each of us, I pray that it will be exactly the way you want it to be!
You’re blessed Shirley. If I could have done it your way I would have. My family is scattered so “home” is a moving target. Thanks for sharing.