The Importance Of What You Wear In Midlife And Why It Matters
Do clothes make the woman? Some would argue that what we wear is unimportant and our interest in discussing fashion is shallow. Attempting to trivialize the fashion struggles of women over 50 is not only uninformed but also naive because what we wear can make or break our confidence, which makes it worthy of discussion.
We have lots of new readers, so I’m republishing a post that many of you may not have read. I think it’s an important topic that needs to be discussed.
Clothes can be a shield we use to get through challenging times, but more importantly, they tell the world who we are. Whether we like it or not, we’re judged by our appearance, and the clothes we wear matter.
Look sloppy, and people may decide you’re careless and have little respect for details or yourself. Wear overly revealing clothes, and you may be seen as inappropriate or desperate. Wear flamboyant colors and you may be seen as carefree or loud. The upshot is that we are judged by our appearance so managing our image is important.
Women over 50 often struggle with feeling invisible. How we dress is a powerful tool to combat that lack of visibility by restoring our feelings of power and control.
Our generation has a challenge with fashion that earlier ones didn’t. My grandmother never struggled with what to put on in the morning. She wore her printed house dresses at home and dressed up to leave the house. There was no question about whether she should wear a T-shirt and jeans or a dress with stockings and sensible shoes. There were fewer options because there were unspoken rules.
Our generation doesn’t want to follow fashion rules unless they can use them as tools to dress with confidence. We want to make our own choices and dress to express ourselves. This freedom is welcome, but it can also leave many women unsure about what’s appropriate. With so many options to choose from, she needs a clear vision of the message she wants her clothes to send.
An open discussion about fashion and image is helpful for many women over 50. Does that make us frivolous? No, it makes us curious, intelligent women. To imply these conversations are unnecessary is to belittle the struggle many women face each morning.
Have you ever felt invisible? I’d love to hear your thoughts. What are you struggling with?
Dear Jennifer, love your style and your blog. Let me tell you experience I made : went with my husband to musical in Hamburg : “Pretty woman”. Tried to be well dressed : black dress, kitten heels, necklace, hair / Make-up done and as soon as we entered Theatre we were shocked : woman in dirty jeans, very cheap shirts, huge back packers, hair not washed, old Sneakers,with their warm huge coats in arms they sit down, struggeling with their packages around, not even able to spend money for leaving coat in extra room – we were in a musical, tickets were as from euro 80 plus – and Woman not able to get bit better dressed?! (Their Partner were same). Sorry, but this seems to be “normal” in Germany now —-why?? Missing respect?! It is easy to get well dressed and not only a question of money- for me it seems that American woman take much more care of their look. Yours Angela from Hamburg
I am constantly amazed when I run into a situation you describe. It happens everywhere these days and is just so sad to see. Our society has become so casual that “appropriate attire” has no importance and anything goes is the norm. I hate it.
“Dressing for Success” is as important now as before. If we feel confident,we project that to others. If we feel beautiful and values, then we project that too.We are not being frivolous! even if we are just going to get groceries,if we look presentable. we feel better,because I always run into someone I know when getting groceries.When someone says that I always look nice, it makes me feel better and hopefully, I project that to others!
I am 78 and I too love your blog! I have several health issues and walk with a cane, but when I go out I like to dress my best. I know that at my age I spend more time on my appearance than my Mother or Grandmother did at the same age, but I feel more confident and happier. Also, my husband makes me feel good when he gives me a compliment. Thank you for your blog!
Confidence is everything!!
Great discussion by “the choir”! Lol! The other thing is, dressing appropriately shows your respect for others, for the efforts of others, and for the occasion or place. It’s all part of enjoying the journey.
Yes! I agree
Hi Jennifer
Thanks for reposting this for those of us who have started following you recently.
I love clothes and fashion. I wear clothes almost every day.? I read a lot about clothes and window shop the web constantly, and buy new stuff.
Am I the only one who has a closet full of really nice clothes, takes good care of them, rotates them dutifully every season…and rarely wears them?
Part of this is my lifestyle and environment. Retired, small town, not a big socializer. When I wear my nice outfits, sometimes I feel like I’m an imposter, or wearing a costume.
I guess you could say that my interest in clothes and fashion and self confidence is more theoretical than
practical.
But I never miss reading your blog, and imagine myself
looking as fabulous as you do every day.
I’ve recently reclaimed my style and confidence. Life had gone flat. After years of low grade depression, work boredom, empty nest sadness, I somehow found my way back to fitness and a healthy weight. As the body transformed, the mind and emotions followed. I found your blog and others and have had much fun rebuilding a wardrobe. As my appearance changed, my work life improved. Am I treated differently or am I behaving differently? My inner confidence is mirrored by my clothes. It is interesting and fun. Thanks for your good work.
Bravo, Mary!!
A great discussion! Yes, clothes do matter. How we put ourselves together in public lets others know we have self respect, self worth, and that we are to treated likewise as worthy and respected. A sloppy exterior sends the message that “I don’t care”.
Clothes that fit and are becoming bring joy! And don’t we all know that feeling when we put on that great outfit, one that has resulted in compliments? Yes, clothes matter.
Such an important message, Jennifer! Thank you.
Thanks for reading Elaine.
You are never too old to look good. I subscribe to look good to feel good. I will be 50 in November and I feel as if my style has only gotten better. I know whay looks good on me and more importantly I have the confidence to wear it. Women are like fine wines, we just get better with age.
By the way, I love your blog. I recently discovered your blog and I have to reading my way through older posts. Thank you for presenting a woman of a “certain” age as stylish and fashionable. We need more women to speak up and show us by example that life doesn’t end when you turn __.
Greetings from Melbourne,Australia.
Firstly,go Jennifer!What you do is very meaningful and inspiring to many and please be proud of this achievement.
Your blog,and a few other blogs,are important to women of our age to remind us to take pride in our appearance and to find stylish clothing options.Thanks also for your genuine recommendations re cosmetics,skincare,etc I believe we should always try to “put our best foot forward”.
I’m 63 now and have been semi-retired for 7 years and it took quite a while to adjust to all the clothing options I now have.No more work suits for me but I still need to maintain my appearance for my self-esteem and the contented feeling it gives me.I love how a bright scarf,special earrings or wearing something in my favourite colour can make my day when
I’m not feeling great.
Thanks once again for all that you do.
Thank you Julie! I am so grateful you’re here and share with us!!
At 74 I Love your Blog. ????????❤️
Thank you Gail!
I love clothes. Always have. As a kid, I sewed things from Vogue patterns to save money. And as an adult, I buy carefully but cheerfully! It’s hardly something to apologize for. If people want to look less-than-their-best, have at it, but don’t criticize those of us with another view! Keep on writing. I love it! XO
Beautifully said Jen! I used to see using Vogue patterns too. I don’t think they exist anymore but they were awesome. Xx
It is too bad you have had someone trivialize what you are trying to do, but for me and I suspect the vast majority of your readers, it is an important discussion. The effort we put into how we present ourselves to the world tells others how we feel about ourselves and how we want the rest of the world to see us. That is not trivial in any way. Thank you for sharing your tips with us.
Thanks for being here, Beth. I agreee with you completely!
Well said and I agree with you COMPLETELY!!!
Thank you!!
Amen to being pissed off and making your voice heard. I appreciate you. Keep up your amazing blog.
Thanks Katie! I couldn’t let this go without speaking up for us!
I enjoyed this so much, I have been told by a few people how they don’t understand why at 55 I bother putting on my make-up, fixing my hair and getting dressed because I am also disabled and am fairly housebound. I always have the same response because I do it for ME. Just because you may get older and health issues may keep you home I feel if I don’t take care of me I might as well dig a hole. I do it because it makes me feel good and when I look good the whole day goes better.
Exactly Tammy!! Bravo to you! It’s all about self respect and the fabulous way it makes us feel. Thanks for sharing with us.
You’ve really started a conversation! What a great post, I couldn’t say better myself. I believe I am treated better by store assistants,etc, because I take the time to make sure I look my best when I go out for even the smallest errand. Similar to having good manners, It costs little to make an effort.
Thank you for always brightening my day!
Beautifully said CJ. It takes little to make an effort. I love that!!
I am grateful for your blog and the many others I read. At 62, I find them educational and supportive! I wish my Mom had this in her day. Who doesn’t need assistance or guidance in fashion, make up and hair. Looking good is important to me.
I enjoy reading your thoughts on downsizing and all the comments that follow. This topic is common with many people of a certain age and countries ????????
Thanks and keep up the good work Jennifer!
I’ve noticed there is another Robin 😉 …I’ll go by Robin T
Thank you Robin T! I appreciate you being here and sharing. I love to get help. Who wouldn’t?
Love this Jennifer! I refuse to be invisible and anyone says clothes don’t matter is living in another dimension! And I love you and your blog!
Thank you Wendy!! I’m happy you’re here.
Thank you Jennifer. I have learned so much from your blog and please keep the information coming. It has done a lot for my self-esteem to feel more confident about the way I dress at this age.
Thank you for being here Konda! We’re all in this together.