What Not To Wear
Don’t you just hate those proclamations? I do. What not to wear was a very popular television show about 15 years ago which I could not watch. The premise was that a style “felon”, who was nominated by family and friends, would agree to throw out their current wardrobe and be given $5,000 to go shopping for a new one.
Stacy London, Clinton Kelly, and the viewing audience would watch this “felon” (not my word) shop while the two hosts critiqued what they chose. I couldn’t watch it without my stomach-turning. Seeing a woman ridiculed for her shopping choices may have made for interesting television but I felt they were needlessly demeaning her.
Whew…OK, I got that off my chest. Now let’s talk about what not to wear. The things we choose to not wear for no other reason than the limitations we put on ourselves.
Doesn’t it always seem easier to narrow down the styles and fashion you would absolutely never wear? The ones that feel too old for you.
For me, there are several things starting with orthopedic shoes because although my feet would feel wonderful in them, they make me feel ancient. That means I’m always on the hunt for comfy shoes with a modicum of style. You’ll also never see me wearing elastic waistbands, that show. I love the easy comfort of pants and skirts elastic waistbands but I never let them show.
How about the fashions you’d never wear now because they seem too young for you? The ones you’d feel silly wearing lest someone thinks you look like “mutton dressed as lamb”.
What about fashions we won’t wear because of our aging bodies? Sleeveless comes to mind as does short items where our knees and elbows are on display. Why are we limiting ourselves at a time when time itself seems so much more precious?
There is a style that never seems to look too old or too young. It’s classic style. A pair of chinos with a button-down doesn’t look appreciably different on a 15-year-old or an 80-year-old. What is different is how you style it and the accessories you add. That makes classic garments ideal for investment dressing so you can buy fewer items of better quality.
And so right about now, I’m reconsidering trends. I know they help to keep us looking current, but at what cost?
I would love to know, is there a style you avoid like the plague because of your own prejudices?
Be well and remember to wear what makes you feel confident.
xo
I must go for the classic look always, khaki and denim are timeless. Retirement has given me a more casual lifestyle but I’ll wear pearls any day of the week. I owned an orthopedic shoe store many years ago, prefer to say comfort shoes though. The Comfortable Shoe, loved my little shop! Slimsation is a great brand to consider for your pull on pants, capris, or shorts.
My only complaint about other women is when women who should know better show ugly knees. I truly believe there is a time when knees should no longer be shown, especially when they look like a double chin. I have seen this on the most slender of women, it is not a good look. WNTW did teach me why I need a V or scoop neck and they were right. I already knew about the bra.
Count me in with the Vionic fans! They saved my feet. I refuse to wear cropped pants; I have some bad mental images of them as “old” (especially on me) – but I don’t mind lightweight pants that are above ankle for summer. I’m giving a second thought to my love for a flowy boho look since so many here say no to that, hmmm…is that a bad thing? I do wear leggings but not as often as I used to, and only with a decent-length top – no way does a shorter top/too-tight leggings look good on anybody who’s not in the gym. I love fun dresses in summer instead of shorts. Not too-young-fun, LOL, but a nice knit t-dress that’s not too tight, etc. I’m also with the crowd here who say no to sleeveless, ugh, BUT…if it’s really hot, it’s silly not to. I think the thing that I wonder most about these days is that, on my formerly slender-ish self, in mid-60s I’m getting thicker around the middle. I don’t like tops that are too tight, but when I default to my usual bigger tunic tops, etc., sometimes they look like I’m hiding more “huge” than is really there. I want to find a happy medium.
I’ve just recently found your blog and I’m so glad I did!
Ok, I am 68, I no longer have my girlish figure, I love leggings, crops, and Bermuda shorts. I thought I was too old for the deconstructed jeans but my mother who is 85 wears them and cold shoulder tops and looks amazing in them, so I feel they are ok if you like them. I have never been a girly girl so I don’t care fore ruffles, butterfly sleeves, lace, crochet etc but I do like pattern rod. Paisley. I used to avoid reds, pinks, corals, because I had a ruddy complexion but now I can wear any color except yellow. Because of a serious ankle/leg fracture, I can no longer wear heels or any sandals that fit around my ankle.
At 72, I wear pretty much what I want. I have my own style that is fairly conservative. I don’t like cold shoulder, ruffles, capri pants, short skirts, most florals and sleeveless tops. If I wear anything sleeveless, I make sure I can wear a lightweight jacket or sweater. I do not wear platform shoes but do wear pumps with kitten heels. I wear Jamaica or Bermuda shorts, but always use self tanning lotion when I do. I like flowy maxis and midis, and almost any type of pants, (wide straight or skinny leg.) I don’t wear leggings very often, but when I do, it is almost always with boots and a long tunic top. You must cover the bum! ( This is mostly in the winter.)
I dress in clothing that makes me feel comfortable, That includes my shoes. Due to Rheumatoid Arthritis, my left foot can’t wear “normal” pretty shoes. I am in the orthopedic shoes , which throws off my dress. So for now, I just dress in what is comfortable to me. It doesn’t always look good to the outside world and I am sorry about that but comfort means more to me than others acceptance of what I must wear at this point in time. I plan to get my foot fixed and that will open a lot if now closed avenues for me.
I have many things I won’t wear! Sleeveless/short sleeved tops, unless I have a third layer. Anything that shows my heavy legs—shorts, skirts, leggings, jeggings, skinnies, ripped jeans, capris, ankle or cropped pants (I need a 34” inseam, so these remind me of the days when I couldn’t find pants long enough—they were derisively called “floods”). I don’t wear white pants—reminiscent of my old nursing uniforms, and they don’t flatter my pear shaped figure. Uncomfortable shoes, heels, or that are too wide for my 11 AAA shoe size.
Vionics, Naots, and Clarks are wonderful for people with bad feet. I won’t wear ripped jeans, cold shoulder styles, or the half tuck. Oh, and unhemmed anything. I seldom wear shorts because my knees get cold and too many visible veins on my legs. I do like leggings because with a tunic length top they are modest, but make my legs look good. I seldom wear dresses, but keep saying I am going to get back into wearing them; at least maxi length dresses. I feel like pantyhose are a necessity for shorter dresses.
What Not To Wear For Me- at 63 years of age, 5’2” and curvy- ripped, frayed jeans- too trendy and not elegant, cropped anything-unflattering proportions and too revealing, cold shoulder tops- dated and impractical, neon colours-unflattering, camo, animal, large floral or abstract prints- ugly to my eye, low necklines- not for daytime wear, high heels- unfortunately uncomfortable, plastic jewelry- can do better, hair ornaments- too juvenile, shorts- find skirts more flattering, baggy or tight tops- can do better….
I am 62 and was and still try to be fashionable. I love sleeveless and shortsleeve in summer with long flowy skirts, capris and a lot of cute tops!! I still have a decent figure so I feel fortunate I can pull off some slightly form fitted clothes.
HOWEVER, two years ago I had to forgo any type of fashionable shoes for my part time retail job and any type of on my feet activity. My extremely flat feet totally gave out and I wear heavy duty orthotics in my shoes. It was and still a very life changing moment and my moments of feeling totally put together are gone. It took a lot of soul searching to realize I just want to be healthy and pain free and this is the price I have to pay if I want to be ambulatory at the finish line. I have tried all types of shoes, but my feet are so bad there is no choice. Age and life changes things, but we adjust. But hey I look great and fashionable from the knees up!
I feel exactly as you do ( and I will be 62 this summer). I’ve been searching for cute, supportive shoes for a few years now. Can you share what you’ve found? I live in Berkenstocks and Vionics in the summer.
I am 67, have very flat feet and feel your pain!! I have ortho inserts and my podiatrist told me never to wear shoes without them. However, I spent 6 weeks in Japan two years ago and not wanting to go against customs, I began to go barefoot in the home I was staying. I felt that I could always put them back on if needed. Surprisingly, by the time I got home, my feet were less painful and I continue to go barefoot when I can. My feet are still flat and standing long periods is painful. I wear Rockports and a British brand Hotter, but I believe my feet are stronger and more a agile with yoga stretches and going barefoot at home.
I had a highly recommended Oysio Therapist tell me that orthodics are Best ysed temporarily in favour of giving your feet the chance ro repair themselves and having better posture than we sometimes do when wearing extreme ones.
I find inserting my orthodics in boots or shoes with little support, such as ballet slip ons is enough time spent with them.
Of course, in ten years, everything may change ….grrr!
Great post Jennifer!!
I loved watching WNTW and tried to find better ways to dress my plus size body. So, being plus size most my life and now digging into my 50s, I have many rules. What is sad is I find myself wearing what I call uniforms. My standard outfits. Hard for me to try new 🙁 So, only v necks, no crew necks ever. No ruffles. No button down tops. I an apple, buttons always pull and I just look big and blocky. Loose on top, fitted in bottom, loose bottoms, fitted top. I cant imagine tucking in anymore. My top uniform is a tank, with fitted capris or pants and a third layer such as a sleeveless open long vest, cardigans are my best friends. I also cant wear a necklace up close on my neck, only long. I love seeing your page and trying to gather new ideas! I need them! ❤😷
I am breaking out of my mold these days too and love to have you along!
I loved WNTW but thought their final outfits were too formal for older women living in California. They hated flip flops and those shoes are a standard here. I still wear sleeveless tops and capris. Also leggings. Don’t like anything with ruffles or lace. Love j.jill Wearever line, soft knits with elastic waist but still classic look. I also need an orthopedic type shoe but look for style like Vionic and Clark’s. No heels. A lot of clothing choices depends on where you live and not so much age.
When I first read the question my gut response was I don’t have hard and fast rules on what I won’t wear. I wear mostly shoes that will hold my orthotic insoles, much better than orthotic shoes! But I don’t wear camouflage, anything orange, anything “sexy” mini skirts bare belly, lots of cleavage etc. Other than that I am willing to try almost anything in the change room and assess it on its own merits. My rule is it has to work 5 ways in my closet and I have to LOVE it.
Well, there are a lot of items I won’t wear: sleeveless tops, off the shoulder tops (I have always hated them!), patterned pants, culottes, frilly blouses, etc. I must admit I wear orthotics in my shoes, so I am stuck in sneakers but at least I found a great pair of ECCO sneakers which I have 3 colors. I change them with my outfit. If I wear a skirt, I wear a cute pair of skechers. Had to give up on heels when I was 45, so it has been a long time. at that time, I did mourn not being able to wear cute or stylish shoes. But now at age over 70, I don’t mind so much! ha ha
I’m with you!
Leggings. (Nope. Never.) Long bohemian tops and tunics — ruffled, peasant-style, etc. (Just not the right look for me.) Cold shoulder tops. (Few things are more aging or more dated than this look.) Cowl or draped necks. (Unflattering to my bustline). Polo shirts. (Ditto.) Capri pants. (Flattering to no one.) Very long or oversized earrings. (Proportion is wrong for me, though I do admire them on others.) Anything brown. (I can wear it, but I choose to stick with black, navy, white and gray in basics, and doing so simplified things for me. I wear lighter and brighter warm tones, but no brown.)
Also — ditto to orthopedic-looking shoes. I do wear heels for work, though nothing higher than 2” these days, and nothing narrow/spiked. Love a block heel and can wear all day. I love cute flats and stylish sneakers/espadrilles for casual days, but I avoid all round toe styles, and those Mary Jane comfort styles are also not for me. But I understand that people with feet problems have few cute options, so I am not judging those who have to wear them.
I forgot about leggings! haha No thanks. I bought a pair, attempted to wear them a few times, always felt strange in them. I finally gave them to my 20 something niece. She rocks them.
I have an internal meeter that goes off when I look like I’m trying to hard!!
The closest I come to classic is a mandarin-collared silk button-down shirt or silk blend v-neck sweater with straight leg jeans and ballet flats. I feel sad, boring and not-myself in most classic clothes. I avoid tight and bare things for both aesthetic and comfort reasons. Maxi dresses are my favorite – summer rayon caftans or kimonos over maxi tank dresses and winter cotton jersey knits (it never gets really cold in Southern California). Palazzo pants are also fun. I guess I like things that drape and swish around my feet.🙂 I don’t need orthotics but my feet are wide, so I have a collection of Vionic sandals, Rockport Cobb Hill ankle boots and Tieks ballet flats. I have one off-the-shoulder blouse in black and two cold shoulder maxi dresses that always get compliments; no cropped pants or leggings or sleeveless things, no tiers or ruffles, no neon or pastels, no high heels (my knees won’t tolerate them). Black, white, gray, teals and turquoise, sunset and autumn colors. I love jewelry, so I tend to wear clothing that provides an interesting backdrop for it, but always comfortable.
Is it because brown is unflattering on you?
I don’t to lace or ruffles. Just too frilly for me. There was a time that I wouldn’t wear sleeveless tops, but in my “old age” I figured – why not. There’s something to be said for staying comfortable in the heat! 🙂
There is joy in the privileges of age:)!
I loved WNTW and learned a lot; but I love reading you too! I don’t have much I wouldn’t wear except orthopedic shoes and mixed patterns. Don’t wear anything too low cut or too tight or too short. Love distressed jeans and I rarely wear anything with elastic in the waist At the moment I am on the hunt for comfortable and fashionable shoes but am “sheltered in place” per dr orders; so all shopping must be done online. Just received a swimsuit with ruffles on the shoulder that I will only wear on the deck because we can’t go anywhere safely! I often wear sleeveless tops as I am too hot during the summer to do otherwise. I do my hair and makeup and wear a smile as I think most people will notice your smile and not your arms. 😀
I enjoyed that show once in awhile, but agree one could arrive at the makeover’s end goal without the harsh reality check. I have always supposed – like with so many of the reality shows – that much of the dialogue was actually scripted for maximum effect, or at least coached along by directors looking for shock factor. As to what I avoid: bikinis, overly girly anything, polyester, clunky shoes and clingy fabrics.
I avoid ripped jeans of any length, capri pants, cold sholder tops (never got into that), statement sleeves, booties with cut out toes, tshirts with wording, large flowers, short skirts/dresses. I have a good idea of what looks nice on me and what to avoid.
I agree that classics always work with your own style additions.