What Not To Wear
Don’t you just hate those proclamations? I do. What not to wear was a very popular television show about 15 years ago which I could not watch. The premise was that a style “felon”, who was nominated by family and friends, would agree to throw out their current wardrobe and be given $5,000 to go shopping for a new one.
Stacy London, Clinton Kelly, and the viewing audience would watch this “felon” (not my word) shop while the two hosts critiqued what they chose. I couldn’t watch it without my stomach-turning. Seeing a woman ridiculed for her shopping choices may have made for interesting television but I felt they were needlessly demeaning her.
Whew…OK, I got that off my chest. Now let’s talk about what not to wear. The things we choose to not wear for no other reason than the limitations we put on ourselves.
Doesn’t it always seem easier to narrow down the styles and fashion you would absolutely never wear? The ones that feel too old for you.
For me, there are several things starting with orthopedic shoes because although my feet would feel wonderful in them, they make me feel ancient. That means I’m always on the hunt for comfy shoes with a modicum of style. You’ll also never see me wearing elastic waistbands, that show. I love the easy comfort of pants and skirts elastic waistbands but I never let them show.
How about the fashions you’d never wear now because they seem too young for you? The ones you’d feel silly wearing lest someone thinks you look like “mutton dressed as lamb”.
What about fashions we won’t wear because of our aging bodies? Sleeveless comes to mind as does short items where our knees and elbows are on display. Why are we limiting ourselves at a time when time itself seems so much more precious?
There is a style that never seems to look too old or too young. It’s classic style. A pair of chinos with a button-down doesn’t look appreciably different on a 15-year-old or an 80-year-old. What is different is how you style it and the accessories you add. That makes classic garments ideal for investment dressing so you can buy fewer items of better quality.
And so right about now, I’m reconsidering trends. I know they help to keep us looking current, but at what cost?
I would love to know, is there a style you avoid like the plague because of your own prejudices?
Be well and remember to wear what makes you feel confident.
xo
First, I found your assessment of What Not to Wear interesting. I used to watch that show all the time and loved it. But I would have preferred to watch a “regular” person getting makeover/updates. Some of the people they chose were pretty outrageous in their style choices beforehand. And those episodes when the person was very emotional and spilling their guts on camera were a bit “over the top” for me.
As for my personal style choices, many things are dictated by my current body. For instance, while I might consider wearing sleeveless, I can’t because I need to buy a size large enough to cover my hips but then it gaps at the armholes giving a clear picture of bra, etc. Like you and others, fashionable heels are a thing of the past. I can’t even wear a small wedge because I tend to twist my ankle and fall. I have never liked the preppy look for me. I like colors and patterns but don’t buy based on trend or style. I buy because I like the outfit and it looks good on me. There are many shapes and sizes that no longer work on my sadly overweight body. I constantly struggle to lose weight but without success. So in the meantime, I dress for the body that I currently have and hold onto all those wonderful outfits in my closet (many still with tags) that I hope one day to fit back into.
That show was really about people who were living in the past. The lesson is that we all do, to varying degrees. So I’ve got some clothing to donate now.
With my 60th birthday approaching, there are somethings I won’t wear anymore. Two years ago, I had to accept that high heels would need to go. I threw away those that were worn out, gave some away to a niece, and sold others. I have been purchasing stylish flats – boots, loafers, mules, sandals, slides, sneakers and lower block heels or wedges. My back thanks me daily….;-) In terms of clothing, I try to look at trends critically and assess why I am drawn to the trend, then I figure out if it can be adapted to my lifestyle and age and my look. Lots of times, I have an item in my closet that can be adapted to look on trend and current. I rarely “invest” in trendy items, but I may be willing to purchase an inexpensive item that is on trend because I know I will use it for the next year or so and will get my money’s worth. I do invest in high quality core and basic items that I know I will wear for years to come, and I am willing to pay a bit more for higher quality craftsmanship, great fit, and natural fabrics. I don’t want to be uncomfortable nor do I want to look younger. I want to look stylish, chic, and confident at my age – and comfortable in my own skin. I avoid clothing that is too tight or too revealing. My style is mostly classic, but I adapt some trends that appeal to me with out going overboard. I wear some skirts and lots of trousers or slacks (for work) and straight-leg or skinny jeans (for casual) – I pair these with tanks, tees, turtlenecks sweaters, shirts, and silk blouses mostly in solid colors. I have some tanks, shirts, and blouses in classic prints (animal, polka dots, plaids, etc.) to mix it up a bit. I have lots of blazers and cardigans that I use as the third completer piece. I have both work and casual dresses as I find them easy – one and done. These days, I review my closet regularly and donate or sell items that don’t flatter or get little wear. I am pretty happy with my wardrobe and can shop my closet to create a look. I am now investing more in accessories – silk scarves, belts, French Kande jewelry (purchased my first piece based on your recommendation, Jennifer), and higher-end luxury handbags and shoes.
I loved What Not to Wear and Stacy and Clinton. I did not think they were mean; it seemed that they were presenting the woman with an approach that would make her look better and feel more confident in her clothes. In many cases, the women had never learned to shop properly. That is me. My mom taught me to look for good value and how to tell if a garment was well made, but not much about what fit and flattered. She is a good dresser, but I do not think she tried many trends. She has a style and a look and a uniform that has been the same for all my life. I did learn to care about my appearance from her. I learned what I did not know from reading fashion magazines and trying things on. I felt like Stacy and Clinton were personal stylists. I loved both their books, and now have a collection of style books that inspire me regularly. It was always an interesting process to watch in each episode. Many of the women featured embraced the opportunity to learn how to flatter their body shape and it was inspiring to see them feel better about themselves. Some were less open to the process, and those were painful to watch in some cases. I actually learned a lot about how to select items that flatter my body. What was more interesting to me was that I learned to “trust the process” in all aspects of my life. I feel that I am more open and flexible as a result, and not just in terms of my wardrobe choices. I remember someone once telling me that an outfit I was wearing was a What Not to Wear outfit and looked fabulous on me. I still remember that outfit as it was one of my favorites and I wore it till the top and pants nearly fell apart and I had to throw them away. I still have a version of that outfit in my closet!
Thank you for creating space for this great community to share our thoughts. Be safe!
For some people, physical handicaps make the fashion decisions for them. I imagine my shoe styles would not appeal to the able-bodied.
I have physical issues that make heels impossible for me, as well as buttons and zippers on pants. Fortunately, my arms are still good and I wear sleeveless all the time. My boho-esque style works for me. What would I absolutely never wear? Spandex.
I never go sleeveless in public, partly from avoiding sunburn and partly because I’d be cold.
I love bright tank tops with a cotton shirt (often a man’s white shirt) open over it in the summer. At 62, I love wearing bright colours and patterns that make me smile and often include a cotton scarf in my look.
I haven’t ever found a pair of regular capris that fit me right, but I love capri and bicycle-shorts length leggings with a longish tank or peasant blouse.
My work in the community allows me to dress casually but not sloppy or low-cut.
Living on the West Coast my winter style is slim jeans, flannel shirts, fleece hoody vests and classic + ethnic wool sweaters with my Blundstones.
Great reading all the comments.
I gave up wearing peasant blouses in the summer because I thought I was too old to wear them. Thank God, I decided this year to give them another try. I am having so much fun getting dressed now. It’s gets hot here and these are perfect.
My comfort level is somewhere around straight leg, hi rise jeans, shirts, v neck soft blouses and loafers, tennis shoes, sandals with little to no heel. Loose soft, unstructured jackets in winter and boot, boots, boots. Bomber jacket, denim Jacket. Don’t follow fads or most trends.
I also remember the teasing if pants were too short so I have never worn cropped or capris. Also white socks were considered tacky when I was young and I still can’t wear them. So strange how these childhood impressions stick.
I have never liked animal prints or large florals, also nothing lowcut in front or back. I only wear athletic gear when exercising. Athletic shoes and all boots have always been too hot for me. I’m fortunate not to have any foot problems and go barefoot at home but I’ve never been able to walk in heels. I never wear shorts in public but would definitely wear a shortish skirt.
Thanks for letting us express ourselves!
I wore distressed jeans and oversize flannel shirts as a broke art student and again as a broke young mother. I am not interested in revisiting that look (although I like a distressed hem on a jean). Cold shoulder tops look cheesy to me – not a fan. I do like the look of a modest off the shoulder top. I would love to be wearing dresses, especially in the summer but they no longer suit my 70-year-old pear to apple figure. A bad knee means its flats for me but I have found cute and comfortable options in Vionics and Taryn Rose for my retail job.
I enjoyed WNTW. I think they really cut back on demeaning people in the later episodes. I generally found their advise quite helpful. Sometimes when an outfit doesn’t quite feel right, I think of Stacey’s advice mantra, color, pattern, texture, shine, and can usually think of something to add that just hits the right note.
I like a basic classic look, but with a spark to keep it modern and interesting. I know several women who wear mostly classic, but end up looking dowdy and a wee bit like the Queen Mum. I want so badly to add a scarf, layered necklaces or fun earrings. But of course, they are entitled to dress as they please and I would never say anything unless asked, which occasionally, I am.
I love the look of a crisp white button down shirt. I buy them occasionally, but they never seem comfortable. It seems like I’m fighting with them the whole time. I either have gaps or the shirt is so big to fit my girls, that it feels like a tent or a lab coat. I’ve tried taking in the sides or putting in darts, but usually end up wearing them as a topper and eventually giving them away. I just need to settle with the fact that this style is not for me.
This was such a great post, Jennifer. I’ve enjoyed reading all the responses and can relate to so many of them. Similar to several others I will be 62 this summer.
I’m still working in an office (albeit office casual) so my work clothes are bit less casual than when I am at home. However, I will not wear bare legs with a dress/ (unless it’s a maxi), won’t wear cropped pants (ankle length yes), no cold shoulders and no distressed jeans.
My feet are extra wide, but I refuse to wear shoes that have that orthopedic look. I’ve had much success with Cobb Hill, Aravon and Clarks.
Your body definitely changes as you age. My waist has thickened so I no longer tuck in my tops. No mini-skirts for me! I like my skirts at mid-knee or at the bottom of my knee. I always wear tunics with my leggings. I love classic pieces however I’ve never liked chinos and button-downs. It’s just not a look I’ve ever liked on me, even when I was younger. I have a lot of sleeveless tops and, even though my arms are beginning to look older, I am not ready to give them up. I like comfortable shoes and won’t buy one that isn’t. When it’s cooler, I wear a lot of flats. I can’t tell you how many sandals I own! They’re my go-to most of the year. I bought new heeled sandals for my granddaughter’s wedding My dress is a classic sheath with an attached sheer “cape” that camoflauges my problem areas.
I clearly remember the day when I stood in the girls changing room after gym class and watched some of my classmates struggling back into their girdles. Never will I ever wear something like that, I vowed, and I never have! On the other hand, there was a time when I swore I’d never wear an underwire bra and I’ve been wearing them for years! I’ve learned never say never where fashion is concerned (except maybe to girdles!) When I was younger, I refused to go sleeveless because my arms were so skinny, but now, as a 67 year old who regularly bench presses 100 pounds I love wearing sleeveless tops and dresses in the summer.
sometimes shorts and sleeve less have to work during warm weather and outdoor exercise – but I also have not found any store or brand that would offer what I would like – exercise or running shorts in the same light fabric that barely cover knees – also yes these are much more flattering that crops . Even Chico’s and I kill don’t have light loose
Shorts to cover knees. Will keep looking!
That is what I am searching for as well! Jennifer, any suggestions?
Cathy, they are expensive, but the Lululemon Align 10″ short is of this wonderful lighter weight material. For an exercise short they are great. I also wear mine with a tunic for during the day.
Such a great discussion!
I don’t wear brown or beige because my mother thought they went so well with my eyes, that I wore them too much until my twenties, when a friend once asked me why my I was afraid of adding color to my wardrobe. Ouch! But she was right! My whole closet was really drab.
I learned a lot from WNTW. But the British version (came first) was better! The 2 female hosts made some awful comments but they also had shows where we saw them – they themselves chose badly and improved. You can see them on YouTube.
sometimes shorts and sleeve less have to work during warm weather and outdoor exercise – but I also have not found any store or brand that would offer what I would like – exercise or running shorts in the same light fabric that barely cover knees – also yes these are much more flattering that crops . Even Chico’s and I kill don’t have light loose
Shorts to cover knees. Will keep looking!
I am a bit
With one earlier reaDer – sometimes shorts and sleeve less have to work during warm weather and outdoor exercise – but I also have not found any store or brand that would offer what I would like – exercise or running shorts in the same light fabric that barely cover knees – also yes these are much more flattering that crops . Even Chico’s and I kill don’t have light loose
Shorts to cover knees. Will keep looking!
I will not go out of the house in shorts or sleeveless tops anymore. I cannot wear button down shirts because if they fit across the chest then the shoulders are huge & they always seem to gap, so I prefer pullover tees & sweaters. I do not like cropped or Capri pants, so stick with full length pants. I did watch WNTW
With my friend & we always found it entertaining & informative. I confess when we were out in public, we would people watch & occasionally spot someone & then look at each other & say: What not to wear!
Enjoy reading everyone’s comments
I have decided to leave cropped pants and leggings in the past. I used to buy them because that was the fashion, but I am bring true to myself from now on. I prefer ankle pants in natural fibers, and boot cut Jean’s in all colors. I’ve gone back to button shirts tucked in, and the well made, good quality knit pullover. I’ve started to replace items in my closet and I am much happier.
Apparently everyone loved this post. Reading the responses was as much fun as reading the original. So great to have a “conversation” during these isolated times. Thanks, Jennifer!
I am about to turn 70. I have tried to wear a classic button-down with a pair of chinos and absolutely hated it. Never me, never going to be me. I love boho, lace, kimonos, embellished jackets, and jewel tones. I avoid ruffles and anything tight or revealing. My favorite look is a long top over leggings or slim pants (leather in winter) and ankle boots. In the summer I wear breathable cropped pants or capris under a lightweight boho top (bright colors, breathable fabrics, embellished with embroidery or other pretty trim). I wear comfortable supportive sandals or Skechers.