Ageism and Style Over 60: What a Style Insult Taught Me
Some mornings, I open my phone, and it feels like stepping into a crowded room where everyone is talking at once, with opinions flying and images everywhere. If you’re a woman navigating ageism and style over 60, that noise can feel especially pointed. It can be overwhelming, even when you’ve chosen to be there.
Being online is my choice and my business. I show up here because I care about thoughtful style, real conversation, and the women who read what I share. But even when you choose this path, even when you’re clear on your purpose, there are moments that stop you cold.
A woman recently commented that my outfits reminded her of what she sees on women going in and out of nursing homes. And yes—she meant it as an insult. She wasn’t offering a gentle opinion or a quirky association. She was trying to cut me down.
Now, I’ve been around long enough to know that comments like that say more about the person delivering them than the one receiving them. Still, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t land somewhere. She wanted it to sting. And for a brief moment, it did.
Not because I believe her. But it reminded me how easily age is used as a cheap shot…a quick way to diminish a woman without saying anything of substance. The fact that it came from someone in her 40s adds another layer entirely. It speaks to the way our culture still pits women against each other, feeding us the idea that youth is currency and age is something to fear. That kind of comment isn’t just about me, it’s about the insecurity and internalized ageism that tells younger women they gain value by tearing older ones down.
There’s this tired belief that dressing your age means giving up. That if you choose comfort or subtlety over flash, you’ve somehow surrendered style altogether.
I reject that. I wear what reflects who I am now… a woman with experience, confidence, and a wardrobe that fits my life, not someone else’s expectations. If that’s too subtle or mature for some, so be it.
Judgment is everywhere, but for women over 60, it can feel especially pointed. Choosing to be visible, online or off, is a quiet act of defiance. It’s how we push back against a culture that still hasn’t figured out how to value women as we age.
If you’ve ever hesitated to share a photo or wear what you love because of what someone might say…consider whose voice you’re prioritizing. Let it be your own. The one that knows what fits, what flatters, what feels like you. That’s the voice worth listening to.
I invite you to subscribe to my newsletter here and join our positive conversation about aging in style.
If you’ve ever questioned whether your style is still ‘relevant,’ this post on Style Myths Women Over 60 Should Ignore may feel like a breath of fresh air.
FAQ: Ageism and Style Over 60
Q: What does ageism look like in fashion and personal style?
A: Ageism in fashion often shows up as subtle (or not-so-subtle) criticism when older women dress in ways that reflect who they are, rather than chasing youth. It can sound like backhanded comments, surprise that you “still care about clothes,” or assumptions that style has an expiration date. It’s rooted in the belief that aging should be hidden, rather than lived out loud.
Q: How should women over 60 respond to ageist comments about their appearance or style?
A: With clarity, not apology. You don’t need to defend your age or your style. If someone takes a cheap shot, it says more about their own discomfort with aging than it does about you. Confidence is often the most unsettling outfit of all for people who don’t know how to wear it.
Q: Can personal style really push back against ageism?
A: Absolutely. Every time a woman over 60 dresses for herself…not for approval, not to look younger, but to feel like herself, she’s quietly challenging the idea that aging makes us invisible. Style isn’t just about clothes; it’s about presence. And presence at our age is powerful.
What would you say to a younger woman who’s never been told that aging can be its own kind of freedom?
Thanks for this post today. I have also experienced ageism so I hear you! You Always dress with style and class, poo on those who don’t see it!!!
This post really touched me. I’m sorry you received that comment, but encouraged that you were able to let it go – straight to the trash bin. Thank you for being a great model for us in so many ways.
Thanks for being here Barbara!
Jennifer, your honesty and your “transparency” are so refreshing. The only blog I read faithfully, because I care about what you are showing us, how you feel and how best to navigate this world. I love that you share your hair issues, the heart hurts that come to us all. Keep strong, all my Jeniffer friends! I think a doggie helps, a glass of wine on the patio, or a coffee with a friends.
Thanks Diane
Amen to that, and it’s hard to believe how some can be so cruel. Not thoughtless, because thought went into it before action. I trust you blocked her.
I’ve been here with you for years because I value and enjoy your advice, ideas, recommendations and encouragement. Not just fashion, but lifestyle too. I know a lot goes into what you provide. Thank you.
I love your style! You are classy and kind, and that is always in style. I see you helping women age gracefully. Please know you are a great influence and have lots of great choices for everyone to incorporate in the way that works best for their personal style! Take care and shake it off!
Thanks Charlene
Hi Jennifer – I admire that you do post online! While there are a lot of great people communicating online, I think an online forum gives cruel people the opportunity to say whatever they want with anonymity and I guess that is their idea of fun. I don’t think I’d engage at all because sometimes I think the crazies are just hoping for an opportunity to engage further. If I felt I had to respond, I do like Talitha’s response – “Well, bless your heart!”
Thanks for this today.
At 76 I am now able to pretty much dress for comfort but it doesn’t mean I look sloppy or lack style. I love keeping up with current styles. I just adjust it to work for me at my age and lifestyle. You always look amazing and I’ve learned so much from this blog. Haters gonna hate! That’s a shame.
Oh the ignorance of youth! My first thought is, just wait, you’ll see.
I enjoy the freedom of no longer being a slave to my looks. This doesn’t mean I don’t care or want to look frumpy. My priorities have changed. Good health, time spent with family and friends and the gift of mobility are appreciated and no longer taken for granted. And I love your posts. I learn from them.
Age is the great equalizer. If this young woman is blessed to live long enough to find out, hopefully she will see.
Well said. I am a firm believer that I am better at my age in all areas, not simply in fashion because I know who I am and I know how to comment on things that are relevant and important. Keep up the great work and conversations!
Yes, I agree Helene.
Age is power and wisdom!
YES
I think you’re a rock star, Jennifer! I love your thoughtfulness, candor and sense of humor…not to mention, your sense of style. Keep up the great work!
Thanks, Laura
Our Boomer generation was on the leading edge of so many, many changes in the wold.
The midi, the maxi, the mini, civil rights, the glass ceiling, men doing dishes, no bras, no makeup, Music that is still played today, computers, space ravel, Woodstock, recreational drugs, the list, like the beat goes on.
So why would we do this decade of our lives any differently?
You are our muse and our guide….thank you!
We boomers have really lived through it all! Funny story, I mentioned I love Beatles music to a young man, and he said, “who are they?”!!
Your post is perfect! Your style reminds all of us that looking good, confident and stylish can be comfortable without apologies. Thank you. I pray your critic gets the joy of aging into her 60s, 79s and beyond and doing so with as much style and grace.
Wow! people can be mean, obviously they do not realize how words matter. You handled it beautifully and left a heartfelt message for all of us. I am a first time responder but I had no recourse but to respond. I am in my mid seventies , very active and connected, and a retired teacher, Thank you for being a role model for women of all ages. And for handling it with such grace.
Thanks for being part of our community, Maureen.
There has NEVER been a classier more put together group of women at a certain than what we have today.
Just look at you, Beth and Kay.
Crème of the crop inside and out.
Here is to aging gracefully, purposefully and with love.
Warmly, Melissa
I am so honored to be grouped with these ladies. They are fabulous women, thank you Melissa.
Taking from experience I would definitely say that women is jealous and toxic.
YES!!!
This was your best article ever. It resonated with me and gave me some well articulated ideas to hold onto in those less than pleasant ageism moments. Thank you.
I’m glad it gave you some ideas. I think being armed is really helpful when you run across toxic people.
I love your style. I always have! I enjoy wearing clothes that help give me confidence for the occasion. There will always be those who judge and criticize. If they knew you like I do, they would be amazed at how your talents include more than styling us ladies. You style homes, gardens and you encourage your friends. Thank you for sharing your talents with us!
LA, my friend, thank you! You are the sweetiest and I miss you! xo