Ageism and Style Over 60: What a Style Insult Taught Me
Some mornings, I open my phone, and it feels like stepping into a crowded room where everyone is talking at once, with opinions flying and images everywhere. If you’re a woman navigating ageism and style over 60, that noise can feel especially pointed. It can be overwhelming, even when you’ve chosen to be there.
Being online is my choice and my business. I show up here because I care about thoughtful style, real conversation, and the women who read what I share. But even when you choose this path, even when you’re clear on your purpose, there are moments that stop you cold.
A woman recently commented that my outfits reminded her of what she sees on women going in and out of nursing homes. And yes—she meant it as an insult. She wasn’t offering a gentle opinion or a quirky association. She was trying to cut me down.
Now, I’ve been around long enough to know that comments like that say more about the person delivering them than the one receiving them. Still, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t land somewhere. She wanted it to sting. And for a brief moment, it did.
Not because I believe her. But it reminded me how easily age is used as a cheap shot…a quick way to diminish a woman without saying anything of substance. The fact that it came from someone in her 40s adds another layer entirely. It speaks to the way our culture still pits women against each other, feeding us the idea that youth is currency and age is something to fear. That kind of comment isn’t just about me, it’s about the insecurity and internalized ageism that tells younger women they gain value by tearing older ones down.
There’s this tired belief that dressing your age means giving up. That if you choose comfort or subtlety over flash, you’ve somehow surrendered style altogether.
I reject that. I wear what reflects who I am now… a woman with experience, confidence, and a wardrobe that fits my life, not someone else’s expectations. If that’s too subtle or mature for some, so be it.
Judgment is everywhere, but for women over 60, it can feel especially pointed. Choosing to be visible, online or off, is a quiet act of defiance. It’s how we push back against a culture that still hasn’t figured out how to value women as we age.
If you’ve ever hesitated to share a photo or wear what you love because of what someone might say…consider whose voice you’re prioritizing. Let it be your own. The one that knows what fits, what flatters, what feels like you. That’s the voice worth listening to.
I invite you to subscribe to my newsletter here and join our positive conversation about aging in style.
If you’ve ever questioned whether your style is still ‘relevant,’ this post on Style Myths Women Over 60 Should Ignore may feel like a breath of fresh air.
FAQ: Ageism and Style Over 60
Q: What does ageism look like in fashion and personal style?
A: Ageism in fashion often shows up as subtle (or not-so-subtle) criticism when older women dress in ways that reflect who they are, rather than chasing youth. It can sound like backhanded comments, surprise that you “still care about clothes,” or assumptions that style has an expiration date. It’s rooted in the belief that aging should be hidden, rather than lived out loud.
Q: How should women over 60 respond to ageist comments about their appearance or style?
A: With clarity, not apology. You don’t need to defend your age or your style. If someone takes a cheap shot, it says more about their own discomfort with aging than it does about you. Confidence is often the most unsettling outfit of all for people who don’t know how to wear it.
Q: Can personal style really push back against ageism?
A: Absolutely. Every time a woman over 60 dresses for herself…not for approval, not to look younger, but to feel like herself, she’s quietly challenging the idea that aging makes us invisible. Style isn’t just about clothes; it’s about presence. And presence at our age is powerful.
What would you say to a younger woman who’s never been told that aging can be its own kind of freedom?
Embrace each stage of life! Yes, it’s true with age comes wisdom. The wisdom to be happy in one’s skin and enjoy each day, and to be comfortable and stylish in one’s clothes.
That’s great advice for a younger woman!
At almost 71, I’d say embrace your aging! We all show the scars of the battles we’ve raged in life, but if you’re lucky enough to reach my age and hopefully go even further, realize how fortunate you are, embrace it and try to give a little something back to the world each day.
Love this!
I so enjoy your blog! Thanks for talking about an important issue that impacts many of us older women. It’s hard not to personalize mean comments.
I’ve often wondered what our world would be like if we all looked identical (literally), with identical looks, hair, clothing etc. Suddenly we’d be paying more attention to what really matters, what is on the inside ❤️.
Carole
That’a a great question
I find it amusing that someone frequently comments on what I’m wearing…such as aren’t you hot wearing that, etc and what I want to say is Why do you care? I’m 90 and I really don’t care about their comments!!
Thank you Ginny!
Enjoyed this post- especially the comment from the insecure 40 year old. She is in for a rude awakening in a few years. Lol. Looking back I too probably felt arrogant as she does about what I was going to be in my 60s but I have found, as you have always written and shown, that this is an age of wisdom, modesty and class- a comradery of sorts that she is yet to find. And the very best thing about being at this stage of life? We don’t give a rats behind about what someone thinks. Lol Keep up the good work Jennifer.
I find as I age (soon to be 79) that I am more free to be me, now more than ever. I am surrounded by dear friends, some younger, some older, but all add value and meaning to my life. I find that is the best shield from ageist comments and opinions of others. Is there anything better than an evening with good friends, a wonderful glass of wine and if anything needs to be old, let it be the cheese. Oh, and of course, put a beloved pet in the mix as well………
Yes!
Jennifer,
I have been following you for a long time. This post was one of the most “raw” writings you have done. It made me realize I don’t thank you enough (maybe never) for helping me style authenticly! I am 67 and still working very hard in my career field. You have helped me dress daily for years! Thank you!
Thank you for being here!
As a retired clergy person, I have been in and out of many nursing homes. I can only feel wonder that a person in her forties has not experienced the wit and wisdom of many elderly people – regardless of their outfits. I appreciate all the ways you encourage us to express ourselves with our own style, regardless of age. Thank you!
I think I would have said something like “Can’t wait to see what you are wearing at 68 (my age)”. With a big smile! Just to remind her that time spares no one – not even her. And taste/preferences change over time. And her attempt at being mean just didn’t work. She’s probably at that stage where facing the mirror in the morning is dreaded. I feel sorry for her. Time is coming like it or not
Bravo, Jennifer!! Your post is a wonderful reminder we don’t have to apologize for aging; we have been through a lifetime of challenges and do not need to justify our choices. I always think of the late, great Madeleine Albright who said there’s a special place in hell for women who don’t support other women. Please keep writing & sharing. Jo
I love that commnent and agree with Madeleine.
This is a very big topic! I would like to know how you responded. Did you have further conversation with her? I would be tempted to just block that person, but I’d also be so curious as to why they’d even want to follow you and attack that way.
Love your strength in these kinds of situations!
I was unable to respond because it was a social media platform…which gave me time to reflect on the ageism.
Wow! You nailed what I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. Your clear thoughts and encouragement are so needed! I debated about wearing a bright yellow eyelet outfit to a wedding yesterday, was energized by wearing it, and got compliments. I’ve chided a couple of other prominent senior bloggers for calling comfort shoes “granny” (granny should be an honor!) or “too orthopedic”. Everyone has value at whatever age they are. Thank you, Jennifer!
As I was reading your post – I was just as offended as I’m sure you were. Some people are just mean! You do not look like you live in a NH.
I was once talking to a 30-something friend and asked who did her eyebrows because I was thinking about having mine microbladed. Her answer? “I’m surprised you know what that is!” I dress appropriately and modern and was shocked that she thinks I live under a rock. Ageism is real!
Oh wow…it is very real!
I even know what a “Man Bun” is. lol
LOL…I LOVE THAT
Whilst having lunch with younger colleagues, one of them (in her twenties and part time job in beauty salon) informed us only women aged over 60 have pubic hair. Gave us a good laugh ( I think).
Interesting
Please do not take offense to the person’s comments. I recently started following you and read your emails daily. I love your suggestions. Do I like all of them? No. But that is everyone’s preference. I would never make a negative comment because we all have different styles and opinions. My biggest concern is that a lot of your pieces are out of my price range. So, I absolutely love it when you have your “spend more or spend less” comparisons. Keep up the good work! I look forward to your emails!
I’d say to them…be patient. It will come to you too, and you can experience the quiet withdrawal of society, the isolation that can come with aging. Last week someone commented on Insta that a cute bob haircut a stylist did was a style for ‘old women’. Seriously, it was a timeless bob cut. I fired back on her to open her eyes, there were millions of young women with this exact cut. When Anna Wintour stepped down, tons of the comments were about her hair! Not about what she did guiding a global presence in the fashion world. How could she keep this style for so long, etc etc. It was her trademark, for gosh sake! And it was flattering to her because she owned it as such! It’s too bad that our manners have deteriorated to such a point that, behind the cloak of anonymity, anyone can say anything, no matter how mean spirited or evil.
Sorry about the rant! This topic touches a nerve.
It touched a nerve for me too!
I’m 54 and I wish I looked HALF as put together as you do in the outfits you show on your blog. Don’t let that little troll get to you. You are aging fabulously and to a lot of people, you are an inspiration!
Forget ageism! Its not worth the fretting nor “snide remarks!” you’ll be chrono-old befire you know it.
I’d tell her to think first off, eating well ( fresh food no junk food nor processed food) and staying fit!
Use sunscreen daily. Really that’s all.
The sunscreen and healthy habits are so important. We feel so invulnerable when we’re young, but the damage we do then, shows up later.
I’m sorry you were the recipient of that person’s nastiness. You took the high road in your response and by doing so illuminated just how low the other person stooped. She not only exposed her discomfort with aging by her remark but she also displayed a truly vile nature. What we all just learned about you is your sense of style isn’t the only classy thing about you.
My first two thoughts were has she ever visited a nursing home to see a loved one and has anyone ever told her that she will be 60 some day, that 40 doesn’t last forever? As much as we tell ourselves that we’re better than people like that, comments like that still hurt. Not that a person younger than 60 can’t enjoy and learn from your blog, I wonder why she even reads it if that is her way of thinking (insecurities of her own??).
Jennifer, this post made me so angry! People will say things on social media that they would never say to someone’s face! I guess it makes them feel better to insult someone else. The epitome of rudeness! Regarding style, I am such a believer in doing what feels right to you. I dress in bright colors and trendy(ish) clothes, but not to please my husband or other women, but for me! I wear what makes me happy and that’s what everyone should do, regardless of what other people think. As far as younger women seeing age as something to fear, shame on them! Every birthday is a gift, and we all know someone who would have given his or her right arm to be the age that we are now. Embracing your life and the style that makes you happy is the recipe for a “well styled life!”
Well said Maria!!
Jennifer, I’m sorry that you were the recipient of such ugly words. I subscribe to several fashion bloggers, but your website is my favorite and the last one to which I would unsubscribe. Your lovely, mostly affordable, and timely suggestions always appeal to me, and I am more than ten years your senior. Thank you for the care you give your preparation for posting; I look forward to seeing you daily!