Ageism and Style Over 60: What a Style Insult Taught Me
Some mornings, I open my phone, and it feels like stepping into a crowded room where everyone is talking at once, with opinions flying and images everywhere. If you’re a woman navigating ageism and style over 60, that noise can feel especially pointed. It can be overwhelming, even when you’ve chosen to be there.
Being online is my choice and my business. I show up here because I care about thoughtful style, real conversation, and the women who read what I share. But even when you choose this path, even when you’re clear on your purpose, there are moments that stop you cold.
A woman recently commented that my outfits reminded her of what she sees on women going in and out of nursing homes. And yes—she meant it as an insult. She wasn’t offering a gentle opinion or a quirky association. She was trying to cut me down.
Now, I’ve been around long enough to know that comments like that say more about the person delivering them than the one receiving them. Still, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t land somewhere. She wanted it to sting. And for a brief moment, it did.
Not because I believe her. But it reminded me how easily age is used as a cheap shot…a quick way to diminish a woman without saying anything of substance. The fact that it came from someone in her 40s adds another layer entirely. It speaks to the way our culture still pits women against each other, feeding us the idea that youth is currency and age is something to fear. That kind of comment isn’t just about me, it’s about the insecurity and internalized ageism that tells younger women they gain value by tearing older ones down.
There’s this tired belief that dressing your age means giving up. That if you choose comfort or subtlety over flash, you’ve somehow surrendered style altogether.
I reject that. I wear what reflects who I am now… a woman with experience, confidence, and a wardrobe that fits my life, not someone else’s expectations. If that’s too subtle or mature for some, so be it.
Judgment is everywhere, but for women over 60, it can feel especially pointed. Choosing to be visible, online or off, is a quiet act of defiance. It’s how we push back against a culture that still hasn’t figured out how to value women as we age.
If you’ve ever hesitated to share a photo or wear what you love because of what someone might say…consider whose voice you’re prioritizing. Let it be your own. The one that knows what fits, what flatters, what feels like you. That’s the voice worth listening to.
I invite you to subscribe to my newsletter here and join our positive conversation about aging in style.
If you’ve ever questioned whether your style is still ‘relevant,’ this post on Style Myths Women Over 60 Should Ignore may feel like a breath of fresh air.
FAQ: Ageism and Style Over 60
Q: What does ageism look like in fashion and personal style?
A: Ageism in fashion often shows up as subtle (or not-so-subtle) criticism when older women dress in ways that reflect who they are, rather than chasing youth. It can sound like backhanded comments, surprise that you “still care about clothes,” or assumptions that style has an expiration date. It’s rooted in the belief that aging should be hidden, rather than lived out loud.
Q: How should women over 60 respond to ageist comments about their appearance or style?
A: With clarity, not apology. You don’t need to defend your age or your style. If someone takes a cheap shot, it says more about their own discomfort with aging than it does about you. Confidence is often the most unsettling outfit of all for people who don’t know how to wear it.
Q: Can personal style really push back against ageism?
A: Absolutely. Every time a woman over 60 dresses for herself…not for approval, not to look younger, but to feel like herself, she’s quietly challenging the idea that aging makes us invisible. Style isn’t just about clothes; it’s about presence. And presence at our age is powerful.
What would you say to a younger woman who’s never been told that aging can be its own kind of freedom?
If that opinionated person is VERY lucky, she may be walking in and out of a nursing home someday. I’m 83 and my wish for her is that she feels fantastic in whatever it is she is wearing if she does. Yes, women are women’s worst enemy much of the time and that is so unkind. You just keep being you. I’ll keep being me. We really have no choice since everyone else is taken. I’ve learned to appreciate, and wear, whatever it is that brings me joy, whether it’s a bright red pair of shoes or a neon pink bad-hair-day baseball cap. Go women over 60! Go!
Bravo Jennifer! I love your blog! Keep inspiring women that these years are about the self confidence from knowing who we are and claiming our space instead of shrinking into invisibility.
Dear Jennifer, I have so enjoyed, and felt encouraged to be the best I can be; and you and I share a similar body type, so your comments assist me when I standing bewildered in a store.
My thoughts – the person who spews ugly comments isn’t receiving validation of her worth – too bad, and ugly is the the way to shine. She’ll grew up one day and hopefully find her better side.
From an 86, healthy, happy, active fan,
diane
Im shocked at the rudeness of that woman who felt compelled to share her thoughtless opinion with you. ( And surprised that I can still be shocked at age 83.) I love your philosophy of dressing in a way that makes you feel confident. Here’s an interesting Anti-Ageism source: https://oldschool.info/. (The founder is an inspiring woman named Ashton Applewhite ([email protected]) There are many opportunities for those so inclined to get further involved in combatting ageism.
Thanks for sharing
Thank you for sharing your experience. You are a very cultured, intelligent, and classy lady. I enjoy your posts everyday and have learned a lot.
The woman who made that comment showed such a lack of understanding. One day she will have to deal with aging. I doubt that she will be graceful about it. (I taught young women like that when I taught HS. They were so very unhappy with themselves that they didn’t want anyone else to be happy.)
Suzanne
I hope her empathy grows are she ages!
I’ve just finished reading your blog entry 06.28.25. Thank you! just what I needed. Within the last 6mo. I have had major major life issues. … I drifted away from who I was. I lost my love for styling my clothing. I even stopped wearing makeup! I didn’t care anymore. Slowly, very slowly I am making my way back to reality. Dear Lady, you have helped me more than I can express here. Continue writing. “Ne laissez pas les bâtards vous abattre.”
Thank you for being here Pat!
Karma!!!!! I truly believe in it!
Thank you for always being true to yourself! 💕
I love all the thoughts you shared in this post! Thank you for being you and for being here for us gals who are older but care about how we look and feel! I am just “bone-tired” (as really old people would say!) of people who feel like hateful comments are necessary to express. Keep on being you!
Thanks for being here!
Every single one of the comments said exactly what I would say. Respect goes a long way and appreciating women at every age is something not be taken advantage of. I love all of your style tips and I feel confident when I walk out the door because there is a community here that embraces aging and aren’t we lucky we get to age!
I loved this post. You inspire and always look terrific. Thank you !
I would have asked her how many nursing homes she volunteered at…..obviously none!
Jennifer, I typically do not post comments. But I can’t believe someone would make such an insult to you of all people. I agree that comment was more about her than anything else. And I also believe that every birthday is a gift and we should embrace it. Have fun and be the best version of yourself.
Jennifer, you are such a stylish lady and I always look forward to your posts.
You are right style is not just about any specific piece of clothing, but of the confidence of the person wearing them.
Hi Jennifer,
Good for you for choosing not to take that ignorant barb personally. I especially love this line in your post: “…consider whose voice you’re prioritizing. Let it be your own.” It has taken me a long time (I should say a LIFEtime) to get there but I have finally reached the point where I can face the day with confidence even if no one compliments me or my outfit. I think I’d like to put your words on my mirror for a daily reminder!
Yes! It’s past-time for us to prioitize our own voice.
So many wonderful comments and affirmations from the community. When I read the post (3 hours ago in a doctor’s waiting room) I was too dumbfounded to reply. I am a person with strong will and strong opinion, but cannot imagine wanting to say something insulting to anyone. As to what I would say to her, probably nothing because I would be speechless (rare for me). But what I might later think I should have said: you may cringe at my image now, but I wonder if for one fleeting moment at my age, you will remember this remark and cringe at the memory of your younger self’s judging nature and remark.
Yes!! I was stunned by it and saddened that woman are the brunt of such negatively
Like so many others it saddens me that women find it necessary to put down other women. Ageing is a gift too many of us don’t get to experience. So why not do it in whatever way we see fit without the negativity from others. I was just reading yesterday that post menopausal women are the most true to themselves, are the most real. I am a few years younger than you, nearing the end of my career and looking at a new life in retirement. You are one of my guides as I build my wardrobe for the next stage. Keep up the good work.
You’re using your voice for good. Sadly, using our voices can sometimes be a double edged sword. There will always be those who feel the need to spread negativity, but that’s their issue, not yours. I recently joined the “we don’t care” club online and it is just what is needed to combat the negativity. You keep being you, Jennifer!
Thanks Janet
Thank you for sharing your experience. Her remarks were definitely more a reflection about her than you. It is shocking to me what people – supposedly adults – will say to each other online. I don’t know if this is about the perceived permission/right people think they have to say whatever they want online, or if it is age issues with some people or just people with innate bad attitudes and poor behavior. My motto has always been not to engage with crazies, although it is sooo tempting some times! However, I do block them.
I block them too. Allowing toxic people access to me gives them too much power.
If I could have thought fast enough, I would have pinned her down by replying casually, “What prompted you to say that?” I would have enjoyed hearing her response, so that we could possibly have had an opportunity to chat about what her intentions were in such a comment. The conversation also may have been enlightening as to that generation’s perception of women and aging. If you’re willing to share, I would like to know a bit of background about the incident. Was it a “live” incident, or a comment on one of your platforms, where she knew who you were? Either way it was, of course, extremely inappropriate, and I thank you for sharing it with “your team!” 💝
It was an unsolicited comment on my Facebook page from someone who does not follow me.
Well said, Jennifer! I hope time will moderate her views about what is age appropriate, or she will continue to be an unhappy and insecure person. Meanwhile I continue to be inspired by your ideas!
At 5 years old, I begged and pleaded for patent leather shoes. At 12 I saw a classmate with a neckscarf and loved…and adopted…the style. At 24, a fellow I dated said I looked too preppy…not sexy enough. Through all of that, I pretty much wore what I liked. I am…to my shock…85. I dress very much as I did at 25 except that my skirts are not mini and I like covered arms. I have been complimented many times on the way I dress…to my amazement…because I have always dressed for myself. And as I said recently and repeat regularly, if not now, when? As you said, negative comments show the problems of the speaker. If they don’t like what you advise or how you look in your blog, they don’t need to read it.
I love that you wear what you like!