Ageism and Style Over 60: What a Style Insult Taught Me
Some mornings, I open my phone, and it feels like stepping into a crowded room where everyone is talking at once, with opinions flying and images everywhere. If you’re a woman navigating ageism and style over 60, that noise can feel especially pointed. It can be overwhelming, even when you’ve chosen to be there.
Being online is my choice and my business. I show up here because I care about thoughtful style, real conversation, and the women who read what I share. But even when you choose this path, even when you’re clear on your purpose, there are moments that stop you cold.
A woman recently commented that my outfits reminded her of what she sees on women going in and out of nursing homes. And yes—she meant it as an insult. She wasn’t offering a gentle opinion or a quirky association. She was trying to cut me down.
Now, I’ve been around long enough to know that comments like that say more about the person delivering them than the one receiving them. Still, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t land somewhere. She wanted it to sting. And for a brief moment, it did.
Not because I believe her. But it reminded me how easily age is used as a cheap shot…a quick way to diminish a woman without saying anything of substance. The fact that it came from someone in her 40s adds another layer entirely. It speaks to the way our culture still pits women against each other, feeding us the idea that youth is currency and age is something to fear. That kind of comment isn’t just about me, it’s about the insecurity and internalized ageism that tells younger women they gain value by tearing older ones down.
There’s this tired belief that dressing your age means giving up. That if you choose comfort or subtlety over flash, you’ve somehow surrendered style altogether.
I reject that. I wear what reflects who I am now… a woman with experience, confidence, and a wardrobe that fits my life, not someone else’s expectations. If that’s too subtle or mature for some, so be it.
Judgment is everywhere, but for women over 60, it can feel especially pointed. Choosing to be visible, online or off, is a quiet act of defiance. It’s how we push back against a culture that still hasn’t figured out how to value women as we age.
If you’ve ever hesitated to share a photo or wear what you love because of what someone might say…consider whose voice you’re prioritizing. Let it be your own. The one that knows what fits, what flatters, what feels like you. That’s the voice worth listening to.
I invite you to subscribe to my newsletter here and join our positive conversation about aging in style.
If you’ve ever questioned whether your style is still ‘relevant,’ this post on Style Myths Women Over 60 Should Ignore may feel like a breath of fresh air.
FAQ: Ageism and Style Over 60
Q: What does ageism look like in fashion and personal style?
A: Ageism in fashion often shows up as subtle (or not-so-subtle) criticism when older women dress in ways that reflect who they are, rather than chasing youth. It can sound like backhanded comments, surprise that you “still care about clothes,” or assumptions that style has an expiration date. It’s rooted in the belief that aging should be hidden, rather than lived out loud.
Q: How should women over 60 respond to ageist comments about their appearance or style?
A: With clarity, not apology. You don’t need to defend your age or your style. If someone takes a cheap shot, it says more about their own discomfort with aging than it does about you. Confidence is often the most unsettling outfit of all for people who don’t know how to wear it.
Q: Can personal style really push back against ageism?
A: Absolutely. Every time a woman over 60 dresses for herself…not for approval, not to look younger, but to feel like herself, she’s quietly challenging the idea that aging makes us invisible. Style isn’t just about clothes; it’s about presence. And presence at our age is powerful.
What would you say to a younger woman who’s never been told that aging can be its own kind of freedom?
The comment about a nursing home is cruel and not something anyone with grace or class would say. I smile as I think, in a few years, that woman will face reality without a way to handle the reality. Personally, I enjoy your posts and have purchased many of the items you recommend. I’ve found they are lovely and elevate my mood. Please continue your blog and ignore the crass comments.
Thanks Cathy!
Dear Jennifer, I don’t know what that woman is talking about. My Mom lives in an assisted living home and I can assure you that none of the ladies there dress like you, far from it. You dress beautifully and inspire others. This is why I subscribe to your newsletter. Your topics are relevant to me; I will be 65 in September. I think the person who made these nasty comments is just plain envious for what you have accomplished. I look forward to learning more about fashion, style and the products that you have tried and want to share with us.
This is a great article, love your posts and newsletter. Many of my style improvements came from my own wardrobe, “mix, match and dispose” of that you discussed many times. I also have found items similiar to yours whether it was jewerly or clothing which have inhanced many of my outfits. I look forward to all your information, love the try on sessions, you give great idea. I am petite, 4’9″ and buy most of my clothes are from J Jill. Their petites fit the best. Thank you again for all you insight and recommendations.
If she’s very fortunate eventually she will get to be 60 or older too. Not everyone gets that opportunity.
Jennifer, you’re the wise one, the person who insulted you probably is not thoughtful in general. Thank you for your excellent posts🥰
Jennifer,
Please don’t let this mean spirited woman’s comment waste another minute of your precious time thinking about it! As others said, the anonymity of internet allows people to get away with meanness they need to spew out to make themselves feel better. She should have just clicked out if she she didn’t like what she saw. Your information, ideas, visuals, etc are so educational and valuable to us! We appreciate you and your style and all the work you do! Thank you!!
I can’t imagine feeling so bitter towards the world that I’d be compelled to make a mean comment like that. Someday, (if she’s lucky), she’ll learn that aging is a privilege!
I am compelled to echo another person’s view. I grew up in the corporate world too- finance, and had the same experiences with some of my colleagues not hearing my words but winks and the up and down eye scan. The winks were the nod to an “atta girl” without saying good job. The women colleagues often times worse- snarky petty and mean. One woman I reported to asked me how I could afford a certain brand of shoes that she wore! Always scrutinized. I use to think if I cut my hair, changed the color, wore taller heals, sounded different, laughed better. Lots of sleepless nights and lots of hidden tears. We’ve really not come such a long way baby. But what a great marketing scam THAT was!
That’s brutal!!
It was incredibly hard and so very disappointing at the same time. An old friend of mine, male, said as I was crying and venting one time, “B, people will do anything to put braces on their kids teeth.” And he was not wrong about that (metaphorically) in the corporate world anyway. Mission statements, promotional group hugs and all that “stuff” is just that- stuff. So 45 years in the corporate world I worked so hard and earned a lot of great experiences and a lot of insights. Inner circles, different rules for different people and who you know (or THINK you know in many cases).
All this to say, please don’t allow some fly-by-night flunky ruffle ANYTHING about you.
As rude as she was I would have loved to hear her suggestions for changing my look. I’m always open to style tips.
Thank you for your work in helping us stay beautiful. Your response to these type of comments is respectful and helpful to us as we encounter others with similar remarks. By not allowing her comments to ruminate, you are the greater person, and we also can be the greater person.
I was in a rush yesterday but saved this to read today. As an almost 75 year old women I can relate. The first thing anyone does is look at your face and judge what you are wearing. Which frankly is nobody’s business. I worked in corporate for over 21 years and always…always… ‘dressed’…meanwhile GenZ wore pajamas or jeans…unkempt hair and questionable hygiene…..boots in July and Sandals with socks in December….Older Boomers appreciated my “look” while the “kids” thought I was a fraumpf. I had someone tell me on the phone after I answered and fixed their problem….”you know you don’t sound old”!!!!!! Lol. Jennifer I apologize for the insecure women you said that to you. The rest of us love you and your style. Keep up the good fashion in helping us stay relevant.
Ouch…that was a clueless person who said that to you!
It makes me sad that the tired attitude of this crabby 40 something may be the future generation that’s supposed to be forming thoughts in younger women. We products of the 1940-60’s struggled for years for a voice and the younger ones have no idea. I try to wear not only stylish age appropriate but rather body appropriate clothing as well. The mean 40 something will learn that as she ages her body will change, and unless she has a lot of surgeries planned she’ll need to learn to love herself as she ages.
That being said, I trust your voice on this matter and love your thoughts! Shout it out!!! 😊
They will all get where we are, if they’re lucky!
Dear Jennifer, I haven’t commented for a while and reading these lovely heartfelt comments from your followers was quite touching .
I can’t add anymore to what has been written other than THANK YOU,
I too appreciate the hard work that you must put in to deliver your happy blog to us ladies. Fondest best wishes from,
Pamela UK x
I have been following your blog for many years. I love your fashion sense, travel and beauty tips, musing and courage to share your life with us lucky followers. Your blog always feels like a safe space. That woman’s comment is why I prefer dogs to most people though I have a wonderful husband and lovely grandchildren. I do appreciate as you include outfits that are size inclusive. You always look beautiful and you are definitely an inspiration. We both love Eileen Fisher and I do like to support companies that support women. I always love your beauty products reviews and recommendations. I am 66 and definitely understand how women our age often feel invisible. Thank you again for your inspiration and being an advocate for all women.
It is a shame the woman who made that comment does not have kindness in her heart.
That was a weird comment about nursing homes.
I have an elderly relative who lives in a Continuing Care Community, on the Independent Living floor. For the most part the people who’re on the Assisted Living/Nursing Floors don’t go in and out a lot. They mostly stay put. So I think the the comment was about the women – usually 60+ plus Daughters- who were visiting their elderly relatives.
A few months ago I was leaving and two women were on the patio, sobbing. Their Mother had just passed, they’d been there all weekend with her. It didn’t matter what they had on, their tear stained faces looked like love to me.
Thanks for sharing this Rose. You have a kind heart.
I have not experienced it, yet. I have always being confident and not in the show off , up myself type of way. I’ve always dressed for myself and if someone doesn’t care for it, it’s their issue. If a comment was made to me, I would answer I’ve reached this age (56) you may not.. Jennifer, you inspire many of us, who does this person inspire?? Mean spirited. The last few years I have said, it takes same energy to be mean as it does to be nice, why chose mean?
Wow, I’m sorry you were subjected to such a toxic comment.
My reply would be I’m at an age where I’ve lost dear friends. What a privilege it is to reach the age of 71. I’m not trying to be “younger” as I dress for my day, I’m just trying to stay modern and true to my personal aesthetic as I grow older.
But truly the best response is no response. As my mom reached the age of 102 and got criticized from her fellow residents, the social worker told me the negative comments came from fear.
So the best response is to ignore. If said to my face, my response would be to ask why? Why would they think that was a kind legitimate question? Put them in the hot seat
Btw, you are beautiful and a wonderful example of dressing beautifully as we enter these years.
You are so blessed to have had your mom for so long, Jan.
Yes I was very blessed, thank you. I still miss her every single day.
I recently went on a Christmas cruise with 3 girlfriends. One of the 4 of us had terminal cancer. At her request, we all wore “festive turtlenecks, etc”. At dinner one night I wore “regular” clothes. As I was leaving our table a woman commented “it looks like someone didn’t get today’s memo”! It was said insultingly so I know exactly how you felt, Jennifer. I don’t know why people need to be so cutting and judgmental.
Thank you for your insights (and your clothing advice)…you are always positive and its appreciated!
I am never sure either, Cathy
My goodness! I think most of us will remember being taught, if you don’t have anything nice to say, it’s best to say nothing at all. I’ve never understood why some people get off on offending people. You blog is wonderful, and I truly enjoy your tips, honest approach and the women who are part of this community. Keep doing what you are doing. You do it well, and you are appreciated!!