Monday Musings On Aging (Naturally?) and the Fear Of Looking Older
A reader shared that recently someone told her a brand she loved was “just for old people.” It wasn’t said harshly… just tossed out like a neutral observation. But it stuck with her, the way those comments sometimes do. And it got me thinking: why does that phrase carry so much weight? Why is it so often code for outdated, unflattering, or past your prime?
Fear of Looking Old
When did being older start disqualifying us from liking something or somehow make it uncool just by association?
We’re the ones with decades of lived experience, a clearer sense of what works, and often, the budget to skip the cheap mistakes. We know what’s worth it… and what causes blisters by lunchtime. But the moment something gets labeled as “for older women,” it’s often brushed off like it’s lost all style credibility.
It’s not really about the clothes. It’s about how aging still gets framed, especially for women, as something to downplay. We’re encouraged to look youthful, stay relevant, and quietly disappear at the same time. It’s a lot of mixed messaging for someone just trying to buy a pair of comfortable sneakers.
The funny thing is, most of us are dressing better now than we did at thirty. We’ve stopped squeezing into things that don’t fit, we skip the heels that require backup footwear, and we’ve made peace with our need for breathable fabrics. If that’s what “dressing like an older woman” means… then frankly, more people should try it.
Pantone Color Of The Year
Pantone named Cloud Dancer as the 2026 Color of the Year, and the internet promptly lost its mind.
It’s a soft, billowy white with just the right balance of warm and cool undertones. Peaceful, clean, and intentionally uneventful. But apparently, that was too much for some people. They wanted bold, and well, colorful. They wanted something with impact. Instead, they got serenity in a paint chip.
But Pantone doesn’t just throw darts at a color wheel. Each year, they choose something that reflects the zeitgeist or mood of the moment. And let’s be honest, the moment we’re in is noisy, overstimulating, and a little too loud in every direction.
So Cloud Dancer was chosen as an invitation to pause and reset. It’s not trying to dazzle anyone. It’s offering space to breathe.
And I like it. I’m always looking for calm in this crazy world…and not just in my wardrobe.
Of course, the fashion crowd (bloggers included) will now start linking every ivory sweater as “Cloud Dancer adjacent,” but the truth is, these shades take time to trickle into stores. So skip the search and go with the feeling instead: simple, soft, and not in a rush.
Aging Gracefully
A kind reader shared that at 66, she’s felt pressure to try Botox and fillers, but has chosen not to. She described herself as aging naturally, and gently asked if I might share my own philosophy around that choice.
First, I want to say how much I appreciated her message…not just the kind assumption, but the honesty behind it. There’s something deeply vulnerable about admitting you’ve felt pressure, and even more powerful about standing in your choice anyway.
It also brought up a larger question I think many of us are quietly navigating:
What does it actually mean to “age naturally”?
Does it mean skipping procedures? Not wearing makeup? Avoiding hair color or skin care products with strong claims? Or does it simply mean aging in a way that feels aligned with who you are?
Personally, I don’t see aging naturally as a fixed definition. I see it as an internal compass that helps you decide what feels supportive, not performative. Some women feel best letting every wrinkle show. Others feel more at ease with a little help. And many of us land somewhere in between, depending on the season or the mirror or the lighting in the fitting room.
To me, the philosophy isn’t about what we do or don’t do…it’s about why we do it.
If a decision comes from a place of shame, fear, or pressure to keep up, it’s worth pausing. But if it helps you move through the world with confidence, clarity, or just a bit more ease, then I think that’s a perfectly valid part of aging too.
We don’t owe anyone a particular version of what “natural” looks like. We owe ourselves the permission to age in a way that feels real, kind, and authentically us.
What does aging naturally mean to you?
This brought me to tears! Thank you so much for addressing this (my) issue! Your response truly put into words my own approach to aging gracefully; and the importance of making choices based upon what I want and not giving in to societal pressures.
I’m so glad this resonated with you Sheri and was helpful. Happy weekend
Jennifer, I totally get your frustration with needing sneakers! Have you tried New Balance Roav v1? Both Amazon and Nordstrom Rack have a large supply in wide with varied colors. They are so comfortable! And not as clunky as most sneakers. The ties can be hidden under a small flap, which gives the shoe a more streamlined look. They are my go-to with dresses. Comfort and support are so important.
I haven’t tried them. i loce the idea of hiding the laces. Thanks!
I think aging gracefully has a lot to do with how you are feeling. Are you healthy, or in pain. Poor health can cause us to age without even knowing it. If you are healthy and care how you look, put your best foot forward and put that bit of makeup on, tint your hair if desired, and most of all don’t pay attention to what others say. it’s your life live it well. I am 86 and I dress for me not them, I love my life and my style, I hope we all can appreciate who we are.
So true Shirley.
I do most of my shopping online, and that can make it hard to tell what colors truly are. Do you have any advice for selecting cool shades of white?
It is really hit and miss, sorry
I LOVE today’s post. Doing what feels authentic for you is incredibly powerful. After all, at 69 I feel like it is most important to honor our bodies and feelings and give each other grace to do the same.
There is much wisdom here in your post! I remember when I finally stopped looking at the size tag and started buying what actually fit me! What a revelation! I agree that I am dressing better than I ever did in my thirties., even since I retired 16 years ago. I pay much more attention to what actually looks good on me, and not the “fad of the moment.”
I thoroughly enjoy your posts, so please keep it up. AND you look great in blue, which is one of my favorite colors.
I do love blue!
I am old, and I don’t apologize for it. My health has been deteriorating for years (thanks to a degenerative disease) and as long as I can still enjoy myself, I think I’m a winner. I still wear what I want to, what I like, and so far no little children have run off shrieking at the site of me.
You always crack me up Kay
Exactly!
Thank you for bringing light to this subject and credibility to the right to person preferences!
Suzanne
Such a good post! If dressing like an “older person” means dressing with confidence, choosing clothing I love and feel comfortable in because I’ve had years of practice dressing myself and know innately what works for me, then I’m all in! I’m not especially trendy, but fashionable, clean and have well cared for garments. I dress now only to please myself, suit my lifestyle and feel good about what I’m wearing. You used the word authenticity in the “aging naturally” portion of the post. I think at a certain age (I’m 75) we are our happiest when we are our authentic selves. To each her own interpretation of what that might be!
Yes, authenticity becomes easier the older I get.
I understand the confusion and pressure to try and stay looking ‘young’. However, I take great solace in certain actors who have resisted the pull and who work I admire even more because of this: Linda Hamilton, Maggie Smith, and Mirusm Margoyles. I am thrilled with your blog because you address these issues and, also that you unabashedly feature photos of yourself even without makeup.
Yes, aging gracefully is an art I hope to divine and emulate.
LOL, the no makeup ones are a challenge for me. I agree aging well is an art!!
Im turning 68 and don’t really like the wrinkles on my face but it seems like even if we use expensive things to fight them we still just have wrinkley faces. I use castor and jojoba oil in whipped tallow, very reasonable pricing. It helps with both wrinkles and age spots and other odd little growths on skin. I love to dress nice for religious services, volunteer ministry work, doctors appts and dinner out. I love jewelry when going those places but where I live I feel like I could become a target for crime if im dressed too nicely just to grocery shop. I wear mimimal makeup, some eyeliner pencil, lipstick, blush, and cover up on any blemishes .My hair turned Marilyn Monroe white when I stopped coloring it. Like you I am thinning badly at the temples now tho. Can you tell me how you keep the top of your hair from falling down into your face all the time? I end up putting a clippie in it and feel it looks dumb but I cant stand my hair in my face.
I use hairspray to keep the front in place
Great question – what does aging gracefully mean? I had my upper eye lids done 7 years ago at the age of 65. I didn’t like how my upper lid was folding further and further down. I’m really glad I did it. Other than that, I’ve done nothing; no botox, no fillers, no face lift. How am I aging gracefully? My fashion style is to look put together. I avoid overly trendy clothes that I think would make me look like I was trying too hard! Most important is to stay active so your body does not feel like it’s old.
I look forward to reading what others have to say.
Thanks Nancy. This community has a lot of wisdon to share!
I’m aging gracefully. I can’t afford all the fillers and surgeries, and I spend enough on health related doctor visits. I’m 68, and I don’t like the wrinkles, crepey skin, and thinning hair. But this is me. I do wear makeup and dress modern, and I use a few “extra” things to keep my skin hydrated. I look as good as I can afford to, and have been told I dont look as old as I am. I like that.
Jennifer, you pose an interesting question today. Aging naturally is something I aspire to doing as I try to remain healthy and active. So I pay attention to what I eat, how I exercise, and how I present myself to the world. That means cooking organic meals from scratch more often than not, going to the Y for strength training several times a week, and wearing light makeup & jewelry whenever I leave the house. Also, whenever I have a health issue, I go to the doctor immediately and try to fix the problem as soon as possible. ( I will spare you the details of my recent trip to see my gynecologist.) What I don’t do is anything cosmetic (except dental work) because I hate pain and I am afraid of making things worse!
I am 76 with white hair, wrinkles, crackly joints and lots of other aging stages and I dearly relish and appreciate each white hair, wrinkle, creaky joints, etc. because of a sis who cancer took at 50 and never got to experience older age and all! I am simply grateful for each day!
I’m so sorry to hear about your sister.
I’m currently wearing zero heel drop, wide toe box running shoes with metatarsal relief pads from my physiotherapist. (Fortunately, there are many options in this type of shoe.) It means I’m living up to my potential!
“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!”
Hunter S. Thompson
Great quote!
Your words are very meaningful and exactly how I feel! At almost 69, I continue to color my hair because it makes me feel like me! I wouldn’t have any cosmetic procedures done, but for others that feel comfortable with those, I say go for it! As for products, I have an entire arsenal that make me feel great- and that’s what’s important!
That’s the most important!
I too have chosen to age naturally and at 79 am well on my way. For me that means taking the best care of my skin and body with the best products I can afford, daily exercise and cloths that fit me well and are comfortable and work in my life style. I find that never going to bed without cleansing and nourishing my skin and never forgetting to take care of my feet and teeth are essential. Nothing ages you faster than rough calluses and split heels unless it is dirty glasses! No judgement on my part if anyone wants to use Botox, filllers and surgery. Fortunately I am blessed with good genetics and am aging well. I’m so grateful for my health and choose to enjoy each year I’m here.
To get rid of brown spots on your face, I’ve had good luck with Marcelle’s Vitamin C, peptide, and collagen moisturizing cream. I use it everyday. Wearing sun screen and a sun hat in the summer are important as well.
As for aging naturally, and brands for “older women”: I always wore makeup, I had a professional corporate job for 20 years and that meant makeup, dresses or skirt suits and heels every day. After that another 19 years in my own consulting business and on days when I didn’t have client meetings, I could relax in dress and makeup (including no makeup-up). But women I know who were stay-at-home moms would not wear makeup every day. So for me to still wear makeup on days when I am “in my public face” is “aging naturally.
Regarding brands for older women……when I was starting my professional career in the late 70s, I and everyone I know shopped at Talbots. But for some reason today’s young women (under 50) don’t seem to want it. I am not sure why………yes I think some of their styles read “old”. And I see plenty of negative reviews of their newer, shorter styles in shirts and sweaters, which I assume to be from older women who are used to a certain style. As an example of a recent purchase that I think does NOT read old: a navy blue (studded) short sleeve puffer jacket. You featured it in one of your recent try-ons but I had already purchased it. It has tiny subtle but noticeable blue sparkly stones. I wore it Christmas shopping one day a week or so ago, and got 5 complements from women of different ages. The two who were younger (in their 30s) seemed shocked when I said it was from Talbots.