Thoughts On Going Gray
Everyone’s perspective on gray hair is unique. Whether a woman chooses to embrace her gray hair or dye it, we need to respect her personal choice because the most important thing is to feel comfortable and confident in your own skin. Today I want to share some thoughts on going gray.
As expected, I decided what to do with my haircut as I sat in the stylist’s chair yesterday. The longer we chatted, the more I realized how unhappy I’ve been with the way my hair is going gray. Rather than the bright silver or white I’d hoped for, mother nature has given me a messy melange of white, silver, and blonde. It looks muddy rather than bright. Combine that with letting my layers grow out, and you have a recipe for Jennifer taking scissors into her own hands, which is never a good plan.
Embracing your gray hair can be a powerful act of self-acceptance, but it’s not for every woman. I’ve earned every single one of those strands, and they’re a testament to the full life I’ve lived. However, I want to look and feel the best I can, and I’m not convinced I can get there without some help from added highlights.
How the color started
I started adding highlights to my hair at fifteen.
First came good old SunIn, which turned it a disgusting orange shade and left it feeling like straw. Then I moved on to the sophisticated crochet hook and shower cap routine, which looked splotchy and cheesy. I persevered and “streaked” my hair until foils came along, and I could afford a real stylist. I gradually forgot what my original hair color looked like. I just knew I was some type of blonde.
In 2021, I decided to go gray. Many of you shared your journey and encouraged me to stick with it. Along with the color, the texture has changed, and it’s lost a lot of shine. The whole point of highlights is to add brightness, which I must have always felt my natural color was missing. They also swell the hair, which adds body and helps my thinning hair look thicker.
The stylist asked if I wanted her to put a few highlights up front, to add that “pop” that I’ve been missing. I thought long and hard about it, then decided to wait. I had her cut a few layers into my hair and take off about 1 1/2″. I realize my stylist at home has been blending my layers into a smoothness that is counterproductive for its volume.
Volumizing Products
I came home with an arsenal of new hair products to boost my volume, and I may go back to using Velcro rollers.
I know that some women simply prefer how they look without gray hair, and there is no moral failure in that. I may be one of them. I’m going to pay more attention to the style of my hair as the color continues to evolve and leave my options open.
Does your stylist help direct how you should cut your hair?
Jennifer, I thought your going back to a “natural” hair color was a great decision. Your hair never seemed to lose any luster but photographs are not always accurate depictions of the reality we each see every day.
Personally, I decided to go “natural” in 2015. I allowed all those beautiful colors my stylist so painfully constructed to fade away and my god-given colors to come through. Alas, I had muddy steel silver mixed in with a muddy dark blond and strangely, brown (I had young hair in the strawberry blond with auburn shades) tones. My bangs looked beautiful while the balance of my hair was just aging.
In 2020, I made the decision to start coloring my hairs again. What a difference. I cut my long hair into a stylish low neck length reverse bob (similar to your hair), returned the base to medium copper blond and highlighted with 3 other varying shades of golden to flax blond.
Everyone commented how my cut was perfect, the color outstanding and how the stylist took literally 15 years off my projected age.
Now I’m so picky about the color. I’ve gone through several stylists who cannot manage to keep the color consistent. On my 4th and so far, so good. Seems a though when the stylisits change salons, they are required to use products which are salon promoted and not necessarily the color formulas a client requires. So tired of these changes and paying $450 plus for a cut and color regardless of the resulting quality.
I firmly believe everyone needs to do what they wish to do with color, cut and style. Good friends of mine refuse to color their hair now that they are over 60. Some look fabulous with their natural color, some look far beyond their actual age due to natures lack of gifting.
If one requires only shine and gloss to their natural hair color, non-ammonia formulas are available to add just that, gloss and shine. Is a wash in, heat set then washes out in 3-4weeks formula. Only available to licensed beauticians. I find it wonderful for those, like you Jennifer, who have God-gifted natural color that just requires a little “boost” to make your natural hair color shine.
I loved reading your hair journey. Thanks so much for sharing it with us, Katelyn. We need to make the choices that makes us feel most confident and beautiful.
I have hair similar to yours. I have colored my hair roots and all every month for years. When my hair goes gray, it basically looks “ clear”. It takes a little special care because it tends to make it dry. I love the Kevin Murphy products and highly recommend them. I would never go without coloring my hair.