Why I’m Going Gray
Happy Wednesday ladies. As the title suggests, I’ve decided to see what’s happening with my hair color so I’m going gray. I haven’t been happy with the color of my highlights and their tendency towards brassiness for many years, so about 6 months ago, I decided to go cold turkey.
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I can’t say I’m going just gray, because what’s growing in, looks more like an ashy pewter gray. My hairstylist tells me it’s a combination of shades that includes some silver strands, ash blonde, and pure white. The overall effect looks darker in my bathroom lights and almost unnoticeable in other lights. Have you noticed the change?
My hair texture has definitely changed. I really miss the volume I got from coloring my hair. When you use bleach, it swells the hair shaft by opening the cuticle which adds volume. For a woman with thin, baby fine, poker-straight hair, that’s a big deal. It’s a lot flatter now too so I’m adjusting how I style it and trying to get used to the change.
Because I was a light blonde with highlights, I’m not dealing with a solid demarcation line where it’s growing. I am still dealing with the moth-eaten look and in some lights, I could be confused for a woman who has just given up. That gorgeous natural gray hair I envisioned just hasn’t shown up yet. I wonder if it will.
Natural brunettes would be hard-pressed to go gray the way I am without having their hair colorist make some adjustments. My stylist wanted to use a toner to help with the transition but I decided against it until I see what I have naturally.
I’ve got a ways to go before I see the full effect of my new, natural hair color, but I’m already changing my hair care products. I’m now using a purple shampoo every day and more conditioner but my hair is still not as shiny as it used to be. The reflective quality of the gray strands is quite different than highlighted hair.
Most hairspray also has a matte finish and I use it every day which makes my hair look dull. The shine products and glosses usually have an oily component to them which is fatal for fine hair. I did order a few things to try and will let you know how they work out.
In other news- we attended several holiday get-togethers last weekend and now that I’m letting my hair grow out, all I see are women who’ve done the same. I noticed something interesting at one event. The women who are maintaining their original dark brown hair, look older than the women who have lightened it or allowed it to lighten on its own. As we discussed earlier this week, our contrast changes as we age and that involves our hair color.
You might enjoy- How To Find Your Personal Contrast Level And Why It Matters
Many who are gray are wearing their hair in a pixie cut which is not a great look with my broad shoulders and square jaw. I’ve been looking for haircut ideas on Pinterest and Instagram, but for now, I don’t want to do anything drastic. One big change at a time is enough for me.
Now that I’ve started this, I’m anxious to get to the finish line. I’ve already decided that if I don’t like the results, I can always go back to the salon for color. Going gray is a personal choice each woman makes based on her lifestyle, upkeep of color, finances, and health concerns. It’s our privilege to go gray or not, and I encourage us to support other women’s choices.
How about you. Have you gone gray? How easy was the process?
Thanks for reading ladies and remember to wear what makes you feel confident.
The first time I tried to let my hair grow out was a mess I had been coloring my hair an auburn color and growing it out was what my stylist said is all I could do. It grew and maybe 2 inches of gray roots were showing then the auburn. I gave up. I also changed stylists. The second time was a success! My stylist had lightened my hair to a silvery grey color and put in silvery highlights. Since I wear it short it didn’t take to long before I had a head of beautiful white with silvery grey natural highlights
Your second stylist sounds like a winner
Thank you for your honest & sincere message to us “over 50” on growing gray. I, too, decided in January 2022 to stop coloring what used to be dishwater brown hair that was colored & had high & low lights . While I did like the combination my stylist was using, the hair coloring wasn’t staying on as it used to. My gray roots started showing about at the 2-3 wk mark & I was having my stylist touch up every 4 wks, which was an hours drive away.
I decided to also go cold turkey. While she did put some heavy, really light hi lights to ease the transition, I found that was helpful considering my hair color. I haven’t looked back, am so glad I have done this and my real color now is quite white on the top & sides, which I’ve been told is pretty – the back is catching up quickly 😬. I am 74 & also using purple shampoo, which helps w/golden cast of the remaining color. I am reassessing my wardrobe colors & find black is ghastly on me & jewel tones more my color palette. Looking forward to working thru this next chapter. Thank you again for all that you do to help us senior & mid-life women.
I’m 76 and decided to stop the color 15 years ago. My natural hair color was very dark brunette (attending an all girls’ Catholic high school it was so dark I was asked if I was dyeing my hair – which was not allowed). When I was 61 I decided to stop dyeing. My hairdresser actually used a one step process stripping my hair of all color and going platinum (it was hard on my hair). My husband didn’t know I was doing this and was shocked when I came home!!! I also went with a very short haircut. It took quite a while for it to grow out and needed a few touch-ups during the grow-out phase. While I sometimes feel the gray (almost white) is aging, I’ve learned, from my daughters, that makeup is critical for the overall look. Most of my friends still color their hair, but mostly it’s shades that hair doesn’t come in naturally, and it’s dull!!! I get complements all the time on my hair. A week doesn’t go by that a stranger doesn’t stop me to say they wish their hair was my color! NOTE: I used to think I had to wear only silver jewelry to match my hair, but I actually like the contrast of gold (and I like bold earrings)! I love bright pinks and corals in lipsticks. My eyebrows are still dark and I fill them in to look fuller using the mascara-like brow enhancer. Bronzer and blush are my friends. It doesn’t take a lot of makeup, just enough to put a little color in your face and to highlight that bright gray or white hair. You just have to OWN IT!!!
I think you are beautiful and I’m quite inspired to go grey after reading your story. We have very similar skin tones and hair so I’m canoodling about it for now. Thanks for the insights.
Thanks so much. Let me know what you decide.
I’m with you! Hang in there – your hair will continue to change as it grows out. I haven’t colored my hair in several years. When I started growing out my dyed color, I thought that the natural hair was dull and boring. I questioned my choice, but did it for a couple of reasons. Mainly, my scalp didn’t like the hair dye, and I lost a lot of hair after each color appointment. Now, around 9 years on, my hair is thicker, healthier and the shine is back. I am frequently complimented on my mix of caramel blonde and white. The texture has changed and I’ve had to change how I style my hair, but I really like it. I hope you’ll love yours too!
My hair is feeling so much healthier now. I’m loving it so far. Thanks for the encouragement.
i am going grey I love it , but i have very thick hair, it is easy and fun.
I’m a natural redhead. When I reached my 40s, however, my hair was losing some of its red, so I started coloring it. Now 70, I’m tired of the time and expense of the upkeep and decided to see what it really looks like. I’ve learned a lot about myself. I became aware of how much of my identity was tied to my hair color. Redheads are easy to spot in a crowd; people call you “Red” and ask about your temperament. We’re easy to remember … “the one with the red hair.” I’m now about 8 months into it, cut short and have nothing left of my old color. Interestingly, I was expecting white hair, like my granny. Instead, I still have a fair amount of red, now auburn brown, and my “gray” is a honey blonde and white mix (so my beautician could soften the transition with a gloss). I don’t look gray at all but rather strawberry blonde, give or take depending on the light. My husband loves it. I’m not so sure. Some of the colors I wore so well as a redhead aren’t cutting it, and I haven’t quite got a grip on a new palette. On the up side, I feel more authentic. I’ve given myself permission to be 70-something with figure flaws. I can color my hair, get a tummy tuck and Botox, but I’m still who I am – somewhere between Jennifer Aniston and Betty White.
I love this, thanks for sharing, Jan.
Don’t despair, the early months are no reflection on how well it turns out in the end. I transitioned from brunette to a salt and pepper at age 56 in 2020/1. My hair was brittle and dull and fine until all the dyed bits were gone. I had a pixie in the end to speed up the process and it’s more flattering than you think. I would advise washing your hair less often and reducing the amount of styling products – counterintuitive but true. A hydrating nourishing purple shampoo is a must and avoid the sun on your hair. I love my healthy shiny hair which is uniquely mine and I get lots of compliments. I’m growing it out to a chic Bob now.
Thanks for the encouragement, Leslie
I too have fine, stick straight hair that I have been highlighting for quite a few years. I did not make a conscious decision to go gray. It was more of not remembering when I was due for my next highlight appointment and it was summertime. Like you, lighting definitely affects how it looks and how I feel about it! Interestingly, I have two sections on either side of my face that are coming in wavy. I have no idea what is going on there! Looking forward to hearing about the new products that you are trying out.
Wow, wavy would be a big surprise for me too. I’m not as gray as I hoped but I need to finish the process to see what’s really there.
I also developed curly bits at the base of my scalp for the first time ever when I started the transition. I have only ever had dead straight hair. I thought it might be Menopause. I am growing out a pixie and the hair seems to be straightening out though.
The reason I noticed your blog was your hair texture etc. is so similar to mine. I saw you in curlers and I believe curlers are the least damaging way to style my hair. Blow drying and using flat iron damages my hair. Thank you so much. I am thinking I can relate very well to you. Sue
Welcome, Sue. I’m glad you’ve joined us.
Like you, I have fine hair and it tends to be dry and dull. At 60, it’s salt & pepper (mostly pepper). Recently, I learned about using avocado oil for dry hair and am so happy with the results. I wash my hair 2-3/times per week. On the days I wash it, I first spritz it with water to allow the oil to penetrate the hair. I apply oil and let it do its thing while I cleanse my face, floss & brush my teeth. In the shower, I rinse my hair for a full minute. I also use natural styling products and find they leave my hair softer, shinier & more manageable. I use Wild Kindness vanilla/coconut shampoo from Rocky Mountain Soap company. I do a light application of conditioner after shampooing & sometimes spray a light, leave-in conditioner. I use Giovanni gel & hairspray for styling. Using the diffuser on my blow dryer with Velcro rollers means less frizz. My hair is wavy.