Why I’m Going Gray
Happy Wednesday ladies. As the title suggests, I’ve decided to see what’s happening with my hair color so I’m going gray. I haven’t been happy with the color of my highlights and their tendency towards brassiness for many years, so about 6 months ago, I decided to go cold turkey.
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I can’t say I’m going just gray, because what’s growing in, looks more like an ashy pewter gray. My hairstylist tells me it’s a combination of shades that includes some silver strands, ash blonde, and pure white. The overall effect looks darker in my bathroom lights and almost unnoticeable in other lights. Have you noticed the change?
My hair texture has definitely changed. I really miss the volume I got from coloring my hair. When you use bleach, it swells the hair shaft by opening the cuticle which adds volume. For a woman with thin, baby fine, poker-straight hair, that’s a big deal. It’s a lot flatter now too so I’m adjusting how I style it and trying to get used to the change.
Because I was a light blonde with highlights, I’m not dealing with a solid demarcation line where it’s growing. I am still dealing with the moth-eaten look and in some lights, I could be confused for a woman who has just given up. That gorgeous natural gray hair I envisioned just hasn’t shown up yet. I wonder if it will.
Natural brunettes would be hard-pressed to go gray the way I am without having their hair colorist make some adjustments. My stylist wanted to use a toner to help with the transition but I decided against it until I see what I have naturally.
I’ve got a ways to go before I see the full effect of my new, natural hair color, but I’m already changing my hair care products. I’m now using a purple shampoo every day and more conditioner but my hair is still not as shiny as it used to be. The reflective quality of the gray strands is quite different than highlighted hair.
Most hairspray also has a matte finish and I use it every day which makes my hair look dull. The shine products and glosses usually have an oily component to them which is fatal for fine hair. I did order a few things to try and will let you know how they work out.
In other news- we attended several holiday get-togethers last weekend and now that I’m letting my hair grow out, all I see are women who’ve done the same. I noticed something interesting at one event. The women who are maintaining their original dark brown hair, look older than the women who have lightened it or allowed it to lighten on its own. As we discussed earlier this week, our contrast changes as we age and that involves our hair color.
You might enjoy- How To Find Your Personal Contrast Level And Why It Matters
Many who are gray are wearing their hair in a pixie cut which is not a great look with my broad shoulders and square jaw. I’ve been looking for haircut ideas on Pinterest and Instagram, but for now, I don’t want to do anything drastic. One big change at a time is enough for me.
Now that I’ve started this, I’m anxious to get to the finish line. I’ve already decided that if I don’t like the results, I can always go back to the salon for color. Going gray is a personal choice each woman makes based on her lifestyle, upkeep of color, finances, and health concerns. It’s our privilege to go gray or not, and I encourage us to support other women’s choices.
How about you. Have you gone gray? How easy was the process?
Thanks for reading ladies and remember to wear what makes you feel confident.
You look wonderful no matter what color your hair is. I’ve been thinking of going gray also, but have not made the decision, yet, to do so. You give me inspiration. Love all your fashion ideas!
I decided to “just see” what my hair would look like if I didn’t color it. Naturally I’m a chestnut brown, years of coloring the last stint being a time consuming expensive coppery brown color. It’s been over 5 years, I’ll be 60 next year and I’m barely salt and pepper, the “salt” is underneath! Lol! I get a lot of compliments from stylists on the color so it’s a no brainer for me. I think it’s important to accept the aging process and roll with it as best we can. Good luck on your journey! 😊
Hi, Jennifer —
I went au naturale during the initial pandemic shutdown when I could not see my hairstylist. I am primarily silver in front, which is the same as 10 years ago when I started coloring and highlighting. The grow out process was slow, and I eventually had it cut super short boy cut to take off the colored ends. I loved that cut! I also have broad shoulders and a strong jawline but I think those are important elements to carry off short hair, as well as a long neck. My style is now longer on top with a side sweep, but definitely short. I use a purple shampoo and wash it about twice per week. Now my stylist loves the way my natural color contrasts with the darker portions, looking almost purposeful. As you say, I think it is softer with my fair skin and blue eyes. I agree that the texture is different than when colored, and I’ve developed more waves. I am pleased to be spending less money and time in the chair, as much as I love my stylist. I just turned 64 and am still working full-time remotely; however, I feel that the silver hair gives me more authority on Zoom calls and when I do go to the office! It’s important to stay stylish and have a quality cut. You can do it!
Thanks for sharing your story, Julia. It’s a process for sure.
For shine, I use Klorane shampoo and conditioner. People comment all the time how shiny my silver/white hair is. And they have several lines for anti-yellowing and aging hair.
I had medium brown hair and went gray about 3 years ago. I too had hoped for silver but I ended up with multiple shades of gray and a streak or two of white. I’m used to my gray hair now and hadn’t noticed much of a texture change until I had COVID last January. I went through several months of “shedding.” Apparently, it’s common after a major illness but I’d never heard of it till it happened to me! It took a few months but now my hair is back to its usual thickness BUT it came back curly! My hairdresser suggested I go with the curl instead of fighting it. I had my bangs and the nape of my neck trimmed 5 weeks ago but the rest of my hair has been growing for 10 weeks. I have an appointment on Thursday and we’ll see what style we end up with. I’m getting compliments so I guess “going with the curl” was the right decision!
How fun to have curls!!
I went grey a while ago, and the product that gives me lift and shine is a professionally-applied clear glaze. It lasts about 4 weeks and will give you more of the volume you want.
I made the change from blond highlights to gray during the pandemic. After the salons reopened my stylist did some gray blending that made the whole thing pretty painless. The biggest shock was the damage to my wardrobe. Loys of warm colors and yellows and camel were donated as they just didn’t work with my hair. A few makeup changes and new tops and I was good to go.
I am already making changes to my wardrobe so this will be a journey
I went grey from my dark hair in 2020. It was quite a process, but I’m so glad I did!!
Good for you and welcome silver sister. The good news is you can always color over it if you don’t like it. Embrace the journey.
xoxo
Jan
Silver is the New Blonde®
Thank you Jan!
I love this article. I have not yet gone grey, but am considering how and when. I appreciate your insight into what impacted your decision on the approach. Thanks so much!!
I’m very happy with my grey hair. Your colouring and mine are very similar. Using blue shampoo seems to enhance the different streaks of grey, white and silver. The shade of lipstick you have on is lovely.
Good for you Jennifer! I think you look great either way. I’m 59 and don’t feel ready to go grey. I am not only a natural brunette but I also have very curly hair. I already sport a pixie cut because it looks best with my very small face/head. I also have grey just in the front and sides so I think it would be very challenging to go grey. I’m ok with dying it for several more years to come. Also my skin tone is very deep and the darker colours look best on me so I’m afraid of how grey would look. I dye my hair myself with a mix of Mahogany/Chestnut and Chestnut. I added the Chestnut to cover the grey better on my hairdresser’s advice. I also use HerbaTint instead of mainstream dye. It’s softer on my delicate scalp.
Many women aren’t ready and I totally applaud you! If I’m not happy with mine, I’ll go back to coloring it.
I stopped coloring my hair at the start of the pandemic when I knew I wouldn’t be traveling any more for a while. I felt like the constant coloring was damaging my hair and I was tired of the upkeep. I had that awful line (my hair was brown) for a while and then my hair started growing at different rates and blending well. Now that it’s mostly grown out, the texture is so much better, but I’ve been worried about how thin or flat my hair seems now after it was so full all my life. Thank you for explaining about what bleach does to your hair! That’s a relief to know.
Good luck on your journey. Going natural is a process, but I find it rewarding. No more highlighting visits every six weeks! My mom had gorgeous silver hair and I always hoped for the same. Mine seems to be more salt and pepper, with more salt in the front and pepper in the back. I saw a picture of me from behind recently and even asked who it was! Never realized how much darker my shade is on the back of my head. Still holding out for Mom’s silver.
On the topic of aging, I agree that extreme coloring isn’t flattering as we age. It seems to sharpen facial lines. I suppose a few strategic highlights could help for those of us who can’t go full grey.
Yes I went gray 2 years ago with covid. My hairdresser used a toner to help with the transition. I used to have brown hair and had been dying but for 29; years. I know have tones of light gray dark gray and silver. I use a purple shampoo one a week. I do have a pixie cut. Works great for me. I also wear glasses a light shade of lavender to make things for interesting. I agree with you that the friends who are dying their hair dark do look older and the hair looks so stressed. So glad I made the change. Hope you like it as well
Good luck to you during this process! I hope you will discover that after you stop coloring it is so liberating! I am a brunette salt and pepper color.My hair stylist told me I look older going grey, and I resisted her suggestion to keep coloring – it’s so much work…and Expen$ive! You mighjt want to look at a group on Facebook called Beauty Reinvented. It’s a very supportive group and they have many suggestions on products, styles, confidence, etc. For hair products check the Verb line, available on Amazon or at their website. Their Ghost Oil is great for adding shine. all the best to you!
I have gone “natural” for a few years now. My medium brown hair has turned silver in the front but is quite dark still at the back of my head! I like it, although in some pics I look like Cruella Deville!! I bought a silver enhancing shampoo and conditioner which are quite purple, and my hairdresser says to use them sparingly (2 a week at most) as they will turn my silver hair purple!
I’ve been going grey for more than two decades! Like you, I thought I’d let it go grey and then decide if I liked it or if I should colour it. Only problem is, it’s never finished going grey! Forget salt and pepper… mine is the whole spice rack! It’s hard to describe, but I actually really like it and have received many compliments including from hairdressers!
LOL, that’s a great way to describe the range of colors.
For many years I’ve had highlights and lowlights added to my brown hair to cover the grey. Three months ago I decided that I was ready to go natural and had just a few highlights added. I’m very interested in learning about the products to use on grey hair and hope you’ll share more of your experiences with different products.
I started to grow out my grey in 2018. I was a brunette but dyed my hair blonde. I had an ugly demarcation line but chose not to do transitional color because I was reacting to the dye and that is one reason why I stopped dying in the first place.
It is tough to create volume without dye. I have tried a lot of products and so far the best option for me is dry shampoo and mousse at the roots before blow drying.
I need more bronzer, blush and lipstick to get the same glow my blonde hair gave me.
I love my gray hair, but it has been a journey of self acceptance. It’s not easy to embrace the change. Many people have not been supportive. I think if more women stopped colouring it might be easier?? I don’t judge those who still color but I am glad I am not on that hamster wheel anymore. There’s a real sense of personal power in making the decision, I feel authentic.
Instagram has lots of great support at #silversisters #silverhair #grombre #grayhair #greyhair
Good luck! I think you look great and I love your hair style
I am needing stronger lipstick for sure these days and dry shampoo is still my best friend for root lift. I have zero patience for anyone who would not support a woman’s decision to color or not color her hair. It’s her right to do what she wants.