Why I’m Going Gray
Happy Wednesday ladies. As the title suggests, I’ve decided to see what’s happening with my hair color so I’m going gray. I haven’t been happy with the color of my highlights and their tendency towards brassiness for many years, so about 6 months ago, I decided to go cold turkey.
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I can’t say I’m going just gray, because what’s growing in, looks more like an ashy pewter gray. My hairstylist tells me it’s a combination of shades that includes some silver strands, ash blonde, and pure white. The overall effect looks darker in my bathroom lights and almost unnoticeable in other lights. Have you noticed the change?
My hair texture has definitely changed. I really miss the volume I got from coloring my hair. When you use bleach, it swells the hair shaft by opening the cuticle which adds volume. For a woman with thin, baby fine, poker-straight hair, that’s a big deal. It’s a lot flatter now too so I’m adjusting how I style it and trying to get used to the change.
Because I was a light blonde with highlights, I’m not dealing with a solid demarcation line where it’s growing. I am still dealing with the moth-eaten look and in some lights, I could be confused for a woman who has just given up. That gorgeous natural gray hair I envisioned just hasn’t shown up yet. I wonder if it will.
Natural brunettes would be hard-pressed to go gray the way I am without having their hair colorist make some adjustments. My stylist wanted to use a toner to help with the transition but I decided against it until I see what I have naturally.
I’ve got a ways to go before I see the full effect of my new, natural hair color, but I’m already changing my hair care products. I’m now using a purple shampoo every day and more conditioner but my hair is still not as shiny as it used to be. The reflective quality of the gray strands is quite different than highlighted hair.
Most hairspray also has a matte finish and I use it every day which makes my hair look dull. The shine products and glosses usually have an oily component to them which is fatal for fine hair. I did order a few things to try and will let you know how they work out.
In other news- we attended several holiday get-togethers last weekend and now that I’m letting my hair grow out, all I see are women who’ve done the same. I noticed something interesting at one event. The women who are maintaining their original dark brown hair, look older than the women who have lightened it or allowed it to lighten on its own. As we discussed earlier this week, our contrast changes as we age and that involves our hair color.
You might enjoy- How To Find Your Personal Contrast Level And Why It Matters
Many who are gray are wearing their hair in a pixie cut which is not a great look with my broad shoulders and square jaw. I’ve been looking for haircut ideas on Pinterest and Instagram, but for now, I don’t want to do anything drastic. One big change at a time is enough for me.
Now that I’ve started this, I’m anxious to get to the finish line. I’ve already decided that if I don’t like the results, I can always go back to the salon for color. Going gray is a personal choice each woman makes based on her lifestyle, upkeep of color, finances, and health concerns. It’s our privilege to go gray or not, and I encourage us to support other women’s choices.
How about you. Have you gone gray? How easy was the process?
Thanks for reading ladies and remember to wear what makes you feel confident.
The last time I had low lights/highlights was a year ago November. I like the varied colour of my hair. It has some white, silver, grey. Quite a mishmash! I did go shorter but then it suits me. Not everyone looks good in a pixie. It can look a touch masculine on some. I leave the back wispy so it is still feminine. I love the ease of a short cut and no long visits to the salon getting colour. I use purple shampoo and conditioner every other day.
I follow freshbeauty on Instagram. She has beautiful grey hair, expert advice on skin care & makeup plus a killer sense of humour. Check her out!
I will check her out! Thanks
Hi Dear Jennifer!
Growing older is not for the faint of heart and at the same time a great privilege! I recently turned 62 and have officially out lived my mother, so I am aware of the blessing of growing older.
I have had some gray since my early 20’s and spent a lot of money coloring and highlighting for almost 40 years! I retired February 29th last year just as Covid hit. Perfect time to try growing out the gray! It was not easy and I did let my hairdresser convince me to layer in color to grow the gray out in a less harsh way. Big mistake! My recommendation is don’t put any color on your hair until the color is completely grown out. I also have coarse hair to begin with so I have never had shiny hair.
I now have hair that is beautiful with white and gray with its own highlights. Makeup is our friend with changes in our hair and skin tone. We are blessed to have so many makeup options in our lives!
I am so grateful for your posts and your hair is looking gorgeous!
Thank you Sharon. My pale coloring has always benefited by my wearing makeup so I’ll just keep on keeping on. Thanks for the encouragement.
I stopped coloring my hair about 5 years ago and love it now. So stay strong.
I went platinum in my early 30’s. I was getting streaks at the time, do you remember those Jennifer? My Stylist said he was putting in less and less streaks so we should let it go and see what happens. I wore a bob for a number of years and a few years ago, again on the advice of my Stylist, I went to a pixie cut and love it. I use Oribe products on my hair a couple of times a week to keep the platinum bright and shiny. I never noticed any difference in your colour Jennifer. Your transition has been very natural and definitely suits you.
I took the plunge about 5 1/3 years ago when I turned 65. I have embraced the purple shampoo and go for cuts and lowlifhts mire often than before. Treat it like a privilege.I like getting lowlights in every two months or so as it adds pizzazz. There are many more going grey so that makes it easier for us.
BOO-YAH for you! For yrs and yrs I struggled with “red” hair in an attempt to cover greys. Circumstances prevailed and I found myself (horrors of horrors) grey!!!! After the initial use of smelling salts, I realized how great my hair looked (with a great hairstyle and makeup change). Shock of shocks, I still get compliments, and, its been 3yrs since “the change”. I even have 2 GREYhounds !! Embrace the color!!
Lol!
No more sitting at the hairdressers for hours getting your hair coloured and paying big dollars. I also noticed a huge difference to hair loss. Hardly any hair falls out now. This process will be easier for you with light coloured hair. You’ll be happy to have healthy hair again.
If less hair falls out I’ll be thrilled!
in about 2018 I let my hair grow out Cold Turkey. I had colored it for years and imagined that underneath I would have beautiful silver hair. My natural coloring pre-gray was always my best feature: black hair and fair coloring, blue eyes. I am now 73 and have interesting silver streaks but mostly dark in the back and crown! Who knew. A lot less work and I kind of like it. And you are right – it is much less harsh and no brassiness. I would attach a photo if I could…..
It sounds beautiful!
I embraced my curly hair this year. After wearing it straightened or blown out for 20 years, wanted to see if I could adapt to it. Several you tubes later, and my style is perfecting. Love the freedom of being different. My hair is naturally ash blonde, no gray yet!, and is highlighted, but not colored. One of many adjustments in my later years 🙂
PS i love your content!
I started growing out my hair during the quarantine. I haven’t had my natural color since I was 17 years old. I am a hairdresser for 52 years, now retired. I never thought I would let my hair be gray. But here I am 71 years old with silver hair around my face and nape of my neck, shocking! My natural color is much darker than I remember, but I like it. I feel free. My husband really likes it, not sure what my friends and family REALLY think! But I am embracing the new me!
Yes, I went completely gray at age at 55 and am happy about it. I did have to adjust my clothing and make-up but it was a smooth transition. I won’t be going back to coloring my hair every 6 weeks.
I think the color looks great, Jennifer!
Like you I have very fine hair, and have hesitated to let the natural color take over in part because I’d lose the volumizing effects of color. Hope you’re able to find some products that work for you!
What a great post! I went gray during Covid, and what a relief to skip the monthly color process. I noticed that my part was looking a little wide, and at my daughter’s recommendation started using the Multi-Peptide Serum for Hair Density by The Ordinary Hair Care. It really works. My hair is nearly white in the front, salt and pepper in the back. I’m still a “winter,” but look best in very saturated blues and greens — black not so much anymore.
Thanks for your daily advice. I read a number of “over 50” blogs, and yours is by far the most useful and enlightening.
I think you and I have very similar skin tones and possibly hair type. For the latter I wear a style as Susan (below) describes but may be even shorter in the back which I find extremely easy to keep. As to color; I do dye my hair myself and have for years (L’Oreal Preference Scandinavie) a light blonde but as I have gray coming in does not resemble what one sees on the box as more of a silver blonde. Products I use that have proven beneficial are that of the AG brand which actually Amazon now carries. (AG Hair Color Care Sterling Silver Toning Shampoo (its purple) as well as their Conditioner ‘Light’ Therapy.) On that note; I convinced a friend of mine who has much darker natural and coarser hair with streaks of gray to try the same products and she is so pleased with the results that she has decided to let nature takes its course and go entirely gray. -Brenda-
I have followed your “hair story” for quite some time vis a vis the thinning issue and products to try. Letting my hair go natural is the best thing I’ve ever done (despite a few issues.) After open heart surgery at age 78, necessitating a longer time between salon visits resulting in a demarcation line, I decided to just give it a try. My natural hair color was very dark brunette but I’d been coloring in various ways since my mid 30’s. At the time of surgery the color was a auburn shade and the length was quite short. My last color was Dec. 26, 2017, and the next time in the salon was 12 weeks later. I wanted to grow it out as quickly as possible so went with an even shorter hair cut (kind of spiked) and kept it trimmed until the color grew out in July. I didn’t like the fading color nor did I like the super short cut but I did love my natural color. It turned out to be white in front going to silver on top and kind of a silver/white mix in back. I did NOT enjoy the lack of body after the color was gone but did let my hair grow. Finally after about 6 months, there was enough hair to choose a style in late 2018….kind of a short bob…shorter in back than in front and layers on top help a bit to add body. It has now been 3 years since the style evolution and I’d still like more body but the current issue is that the color isn’t as white/silvery in front as it started. I’ve used purple shampoo and conditioner since the start and, for a while, we thought my hair had accidentally absorbed a tinted sunscreen. It didn’t seem to be growing out though so my stylist bleached that small area and lo and behold…the color didn’t change one bit!! What doesn’t bleach out???? So, I’m changing shampoo brands and hoping for the best. I also am losing more hair as time goes on and believe that has to do more with age than anything else. I now believe that the artificial color definitely made me look older and, like you, I see this in my peers who still color their hair but it’s what we each see in the mirror is our driving force. I’m on a fixed income and love having some extra dollars to use for other self care and, until the Pandemic, to go to Broadway every couple of months. So that’s my hair story. I’ve read all of the above comments and appreciate what you and others are sharing.
I went gray about five years ago for the same reason as you are. The hair coloring was becoming brassy and honestly, I was just getting tired of the upkeep. I did cut my hair shorter initially and used a gray highlight to keep it somewhat natural looking while it grew in. Since then I have had my hair in so many different lengths (especially during the height of the pandemic) . Now it’s about the same length I had for years. I have recently begun to put low lights in because my hair has become the same shade of silver with no depth. It looks wonderfully natural and I get lots of compliments. Hang in there. I think you will love it once the process is complete.
At the beginning of the pandemic, I decided it was a good time to just grow out my natural color. My hairdresser had been coloring it a medium blonde color using the “weave” technique, so the hair color was never on my scalp. She also had matched the “tone” of the color with my natural color, so I really never had that demarcation line.
I love it and get many compliments on it. The color is a silvery gray with darker undertones. My hair is fairly thick but very fine. It is also curly, and that has helped. I have been very please at how much shinier it is then when I colored it.
As a child my hair was very blonde, then it came in very dark brown, almost black. In my fifties, when grey came in I colored it back to the dark brown. Then I highlighted it. Then when I turned 60, I had all color bleached out. It came in a very light blonde. With Covid, I let it go natural. Perfect timing and I even learned to trim it myself. So the process was not as distressing as I thought it would be and I like my hair a lot. I especially like that a trip to the salon for A trim is about 30 minutes!. My hair is very white in front with white streaks against black in the back. Most people barely noticed the change. My hair is still thick and I keep it short and spikey. A good product with shine keeps it looking modern.
Glad to hear you’re embracing your gray! I let my hair go gray throughout my 50’s (now 64). My gray is more of a platinum gray versus salt and pepper or white. I’ve always had fine hair but a lot of it. Now it feels more fragile and flyaway and it takes more effort to get volume. A big round brush helps. I was using purple shampoo every day but found it to be drying so now I only use it once or twice a week. I’ve liked Hair Biology Shampoo and Conditioners. I’ve also had to adjust my hairstyle. For the first few years as I grayed, a medium length shag style cut worked just fine but in the last few years I’ve found that a layered bob gives more fullness. It definitely takes some experimentation with this graying process. Hang in there!
A friend did the transition during the lockdowns. She has since added some silver low lights to give dimension and some body to her new look.