Why I’m Going Gray
Happy Wednesday ladies. As the title suggests, I’ve decided to see what’s happening with my hair color so I’m going gray. I haven’t been happy with the color of my highlights and their tendency towards brassiness for many years, so about 6 months ago, I decided to go cold turkey.
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I can’t say I’m going just gray, because what’s growing in, looks more like an ashy pewter gray. My hairstylist tells me it’s a combination of shades that includes some silver strands, ash blonde, and pure white. The overall effect looks darker in my bathroom lights and almost unnoticeable in other lights. Have you noticed the change?
My hair texture has definitely changed. I really miss the volume I got from coloring my hair. When you use bleach, it swells the hair shaft by opening the cuticle which adds volume. For a woman with thin, baby fine, poker-straight hair, that’s a big deal. It’s a lot flatter now too so I’m adjusting how I style it and trying to get used to the change.
Because I was a light blonde with highlights, I’m not dealing with a solid demarcation line where it’s growing. I am still dealing with the moth-eaten look and in some lights, I could be confused for a woman who has just given up. That gorgeous natural gray hair I envisioned just hasn’t shown up yet. I wonder if it will.
Natural brunettes would be hard-pressed to go gray the way I am without having their hair colorist make some adjustments. My stylist wanted to use a toner to help with the transition but I decided against it until I see what I have naturally.
I’ve got a ways to go before I see the full effect of my new, natural hair color, but I’m already changing my hair care products. I’m now using a purple shampoo every day and more conditioner but my hair is still not as shiny as it used to be. The reflective quality of the gray strands is quite different than highlighted hair.
Most hairspray also has a matte finish and I use it every day which makes my hair look dull. The shine products and glosses usually have an oily component to them which is fatal for fine hair. I did order a few things to try and will let you know how they work out.
In other news- we attended several holiday get-togethers last weekend and now that I’m letting my hair grow out, all I see are women who’ve done the same. I noticed something interesting at one event. The women who are maintaining their original dark brown hair, look older than the women who have lightened it or allowed it to lighten on its own. As we discussed earlier this week, our contrast changes as we age and that involves our hair color.
You might enjoy- How To Find Your Personal Contrast Level And Why It Matters
Many who are gray are wearing their hair in a pixie cut which is not a great look with my broad shoulders and square jaw. I’ve been looking for haircut ideas on Pinterest and Instagram, but for now, I don’t want to do anything drastic. One big change at a time is enough for me.
Now that I’ve started this, I’m anxious to get to the finish line. I’ve already decided that if I don’t like the results, I can always go back to the salon for color. Going gray is a personal choice each woman makes based on her lifestyle, upkeep of color, finances, and health concerns. It’s our privilege to go gray or not, and I encourage us to support other women’s choices.
How about you. Have you gone gray? How easy was the process?
Thanks for reading ladies and remember to wear what makes you feel confident.
Jennifer
Your hair is very similar to mine as to thickness and texture. I even showed a picture of you to my stylist. She recommended fewer layers and gave me a shoulder-length bob. It works because I like to wear my hair pulled back with a bit of height (slight tease w/spray) on days I don’t want to style it. I don’t need to do the whole routine.
Light hair is washing me out and I have gone slightly darker. Much better. So consider your skin color and look at pictures of yourself. I looked older with light hair and yes older women get treated differently. Some women look great going gray and I admire that. Not for me.
The shower filter also helps your skin stay soft …less chemicals.
I’m going to get a shower filter.
Several years ago I saw a group of ladies having lunch, 15 of them. I noticed the same thing. Those with gray hair looked so much better. I stopped dyeing my hair that very day. So thankful I did.
Welcome to the “Silver Sisterhood”. As a brunette my cold turkey journey was a little harder but now that it’s over I can honestly say I wish I had embraced this part of aging years ago!
During Covid I kept noticing so many attractive women sporting silver hair and I decided just to go with it as self colour can look so artificial and it was the only option. Bonus I can go longer between cuts, shorter time in salon and needless to say less than half the cost!! Hair much healthier now as well.
I have become a “silver sister” and I’m glad I did. I figured out I was spending at least 40+ hours a year coloring it. I have noticed that it is sparkly in the sunlight, which is kind of cool. I have changed my color palette- I was a light auburn brown, and now I find that oranges are too much, where reds, purples and blues look pretty good, as well as grey, black and silver. I use a purple shampoo also, and while my hair is poker straight, it has the texture of fishing line (think “BOING” straight out if cut too short.) I have a short pixie, and I’m delighted- I wear dangling earrings, and I feel sassy. Hope this helps!
I regret not using the almost 2 years of COVID-at-home to go gray, but this month I surprised my stylist by stopping her before she went to mix the color: I’m now going gray and am so excited to see how it goes. As you said, I can always start coloring again if not happy with what I see, but I feel as if I’m definitely ready for this step. Both my mother and sister ended up with beautiful gray/white locks, so I’m hopeful the genes hold. This recent photo of Kristin Scott Thomas certainly didn’t hurt! https://www.vogue.com/article/kristin-scott-thomas-has-embraced-the-silver-hair-trend
I let my hair grow out about 4 months.
Did not work well.
My hairstyles told me I had way to much dark in streaks with made me look skunk-ish so I did go back to color and highlights.
However, I would like to give it a try again. Hopefully with success this time.
Do what makes you feel confident! If I don’t like this result, I’ll go back to color.
I think with your coloring you will be a Silver Fox.
I’m not a hair dresser, but I suspect a good/honest one would say that going natural takes some help. A woman may find that to look fabulous, not frumpy, a good, modern cut, maybe a temporary rinse/shampoo a few highlights is needed. Luckily, at the moment, anything goes as far as hair color is concerned.
I went gray at 62. I was just not a brown-haired girl any more. I do have curly hair in a pixie cut and my advise is to just not look in the mirror. Over the years people have complimented me and asked if I loved it. My answer is I’m okay with it but I do love not having to color it. Funny things I noticed were men were friendlier and seemed to think I needed help and women said they could never do it. Good luck to you Jennifer and thanks for sharing your experience.
Hi Jennifer!
I am like you in that I have fine hair, was always a blonde and went grey, started with streaks, as my hairdresser said it would give my hair body, nope …..just was a big expense , so now I have a beautiful natural light grey color and it is my shining glory, even tho I have fine thin hair the color is what I love. I cannot use conditioner in my hair as it drags it down. I hope you have the same results. I am ten years older than you but it is so easy now….I have shorter hair than you , and personally I think you will find it easier. But one drastic change at a time. Hard to do over the holidays and in your business.
Good luck, Sue
I haven’t notice your changing hair color at all…you always look so attractive!
Like you, I decided to go gray because of increased brassiness in my highlights that did nothing for my light, cool skin tone. The cold turkey grow-out was started shortly before the pandemic took over our lives, so I am fully converted now. I love it! Much better for my natural coloring. I ended up with multi-colored streaks of taupe brown and silver. It’s funny…I get many compliments and questions about where I am getting my hair color done! BTW, I refused toner during the grow-out period because I feared I would then be growing out toner. So that’s my story. Good luck to you. I bet you’ll love it!
And have a Merry Christmas!
Thanks for sharing. That why I refused the toner too
I will not go gray until I absolutely have no choice. I have light brown hair with low and hi lites. Unless one has beautiful silver or white hair it just looks old. In my opinion good hair color is the easiest most affordable way to look fresh.
Looks like you will have some fun streaks of silver…and call it “silver,” not grey. You stylist can suggest products to give you shine without weighing your fine hair down. I went “cold turkey” a few years back and did go short to make the transition from auburn color and brownette natural hair. My stylist worked with me throughout the transition. I’m still only silver in the front. As the transition progresses, I noticed that I needed more saturated color in my life and clothes. AND I WONDERED WHY I HADN’T DONE THIS SOONER! Have strong heart and investigate CHI hair products for volume and shine. They have worked for me. And no, I’m just a civilian…not a hair products rep!
Thanks! I’m gravitating to brighter colors too
Twenty years ago, I became much more aware of living a healthy and more natural lifestyle. One day, I realized applying chemicals to my hair and scalp didn’t fit with this way of living. Since then, I’ve embraced my natural hair colour as it’s changed through the years, even though, like you, my fine, straight hair is a challenge. I’m so happy I made that decision, and I hope you’ll be happy with yours, too.
I like what I see with your transition to gray…I wonder if you’ve heard of a hairspray named: Kenra, #25 is the volume one. I use it as I have the EXACT same hair you do, just not gray, yet; however, I have lost about 1/3 of my hair! My daughter is a very good stylist at an expensive salon and she has also, had me on a product for daily shampooing and conditioning by the name of: Kerastase’ Densifique. My hair is shiny now and has real body. Not sure if it’s meant for gray; but, I’m sure they have a quality treatment for gray hair as well if it isn’t. Also! Go with the toner and/or platinum highlights! It may give you the similar body and volume you had prior to growing out gray. Good luck to you and I enjoy you posts a great deal.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with thinning too! Thanks for being here an sharing
Yes I am letting my hair grow out after coloring for many years. I was about three years out and then put color back in. I have had five surgeries this year, and with all the medication, lack of exercise, my entire body has taken a direct hit, including my hair…. like you I have fine, thin hair and I thought the color would give me some body, now it is back to salt and pepper…. more salt than pepper🤣🤣🤣 good luck with your hair journey!! Have a great weekend Jennifer
Love reading all the comments. This is a very timely piece for me too. I am growing my hair in from chemo. I have always colored my wavy hair brown with a red tint. My hair came in grey and super curly. I had it colored when there was finally enough. My colorist chose a light brown color. I liked it at first but now I think I will embrace the grey. I have an appointment for color but I will either have her put in highlights to help it blend or just go for some conditioning and shine treatment. Gray curly hair has no shine so waiting to hear what product you find to help. My colors have changed and like others, I am struggling to figure out what my new. colors are. Loved your color value post but still not sure what I am.
Love your hair. Congratulations! I am afraid to grow mine out. It is colored brown…………
I really had not noticed any difference in your hair color … it always looks nice. I am going gray naturally and at 76 I have a lot of my natural brown color highlighted by the gray strands. It actually makes my hair more interesting that it was when I was younger. However, the texture of the strands of gray (particularly around my hairline) is weird and unruly and requires constant attention or it goes nuts! I’m allergic to most fragrances and many products so I no longer use body perms or dare to try color and my baby fine hair is a challenge. After a lifetime of poker straight baby fine hair I now have strange waves showing up that have a mind of their own so I’m growing out my shorter cut to hopefully get more control of these wayward beings.
I decided to stop highlighting a little over a year ago. I was born with black, curly hair which fell out and I became a towhead with fine, straight hair. I began highlighting in my late 20s. For most for my adult life my hair has been a lighter brown with the highlights. At 63 I decided to stop coloring. I have discovered that I have very little gray. But what has happened is my hair has become a very dark brown with light strands of gray. I don’t know what to do with my makeup and clothes with this dark hair. I’m on a fixed
Income and am unable to get a color analysis. I used To be a Summer. Maybe I should be wearing more saturated colors, closer to Winters. My hair has become thinner as I’ve aged. I have to use a product that fills in where my scalp shows. I thought I’d be adjusting to gray, not to being a dark brunette. What a surprise!
A natural brunette, I started getting gray hair in my late 30’s. For awhile I colored it with non permanent color to cover the gray. It looked pretty snappy. However, as I turned 42, I looked in the mirror and gasped as I realized I looked harsh, older than I was and… my hair looked like a helmet head, like a bucket. Next I switched to low lights and this was brilliant until by the end of the year I had a million colors of brown which was really unattractive. I had to constantly cover it because I had a “skunk” line at my part. That is the dilemma brunettes face in going grey. I got sick of being in the beauty parlor wasting time and money on a look that was artificial and did not enhance my look one bit. I took the leap, cut it as short as I could without going pixie and let Mother Nature take over. I have not regretted going with my natural color one bit – I look much younger and softer and am thrilled with the color. I am now 70.
I have very fine and thin hair. I wear it in a longish bob (slightly below my chin) without layers, with thin curtain bangs to soften my face.
Big Tip: I use Dr. Bonners bar soap (peppermint or lavender) to wash it and have found that to be perfect. No harsh chemicals, no creme rinse necessary – my hair shines like I was a child. It seems to have just the right combination of oils and cleaner for my hair type. If you make this switch, your hair will feel odd the first washing or two, sort of tangled, but don’t give up, you’re getting rid of the coating all of your shampoo and creme rinse has coated your hair with.
Jennifer, don’t give up. I think you will love your natural color.
☺️
I’m tired of the chemicals too but hadn’t realized how much it really mattered until I started reading all your comments.