Monday Musings: What Are You Talking Yourself Out Of
Yesterday’s email brought in an avalanche of emails asking for more details about style essences and style archetypes. I was going to cover it today, but I think it deserves its own post, so look for that in a week or so.
SIMILAR BANDANA SCARF, which began the day around my neck and ended tied to my bag
I was shopping over the weekend and felt a sudden wave of boredom with what I was reaching for. Not a crisis, just that flat little feeling of, haven’t I bought this before?
I kept drifting toward the same classic shapes and familiar colors. The pieces were perfectly fine, and some were probably useful, but they felt a little too expected. What fascinated me was the running commentary in my head: that’s a good color for you, that will go with everything, that’s the kind of thing you wear.
All true. Also, not very exciting.
Then I saw this tank in a color that’s not on any of the color palettes I’ve ever been given. It’s a yellow-green called Lemon Drop that should have made me walk right past, but it didn’t. It stopped me, and I picked it up twice. Then I tried it on and made the snap decision to buy it.
This was not an earth-shaking experience, obviously, and no one alerted the authorities. But for me, it felt like a tiny act of defiance against all the color rules I’ve collected over the years.
I’m not tossing out everything I know about color. I still believe color analysis can be enormously helpful, especially when you’re trying to understand why some shades light you up, and others make you look like you’re recovering from the flu. My readers love color palettes, and I understand why. I do too.
But I’m starting to question why everything has to be flattering in the most technical sense.
Why does every color have to brighten me, soften me, or perform some small miracle before I’m allowed to wear it? At our age, where does fun come in? Where does experimentation come in?
That chartreuse tank may not be my “best” color, but I liked it. It made me curious. And that feels worth paying attention to.
A color palette should expand your wardrobe, not shrink your curiosity.
I don’t want to abandon what I know. I just don’t want what I know to make every decision before I’ve had a chance to be interested. At some point, liking something is a good enough reason to try it.
One Small Wild Card
Leaving Room For The Wild Card
I don’t want this stage of life to make my style smaller. If anything, I want it to give me more room.
More room to be curious. More room to try something before I talk myself out of it. More room to wear something because it interests me, not because it checks every box on a list I made years ago.
Because we do edit ourselves, don’t we? For fit, color, comfort, occasion, and all the tiny messages we’ve absorbed about not trying too hard, not standing out too much, and heaven forbid, not looking like we think we’re twenty-five.
Some of that editing is useful. I don’t want clothes that fight my body or make my day harder. An uncomfortable waistband can still ruin an otherwise promising afternoon.
But there’s a difference between editing and erasing.
I’m not interested in full-on eccentric dressing, although I admire women who can pull that off. I’m talking about one small wild card, something that shifts the mood a bit. Maybe it’s a color I don’t usually wear, a bolder accessory, or a piece that makes a familiar outfit feel less predictable.
At this age, I don’t want getting dressed to become a long list of things I’ve ruled out. I want what I know to support me, not narrow me.
When was the last time you tried something on simply because it interested you, not because it was your best color, your most flattering shape, or the sensible choice?
Good for you!! Dressing should always be about making us happy and feeling good and i bet that tank will put a smile on your face when you wear it. Have a great day!
Hi Jennifer,
How refreshing! The Lemon Drop tank is a lovely colour, and your red cardi will always give you a cheerful look.
Thanks for being an inspiration!
Agree with being more adventurous with color! When I wear a bright color, I feel I’m expressing myself. Maybe letting my spirit be sen for who Iam, a woman with dignity, love to give, and experience. Thank yo for sharing your inmost thoughts. God bless you.
…but some colors I like just make me look AWFUL! so, I have to say no to them.
I recently bought a bright yellow sweater with bright flowers all over it – totally out of my play-it-safe comfort zone. I was a bit afraid to wear it for a while, but kept being drawn back to it because it just made me feel happy! Now when I wear that sweater I feel joyful and other people see that joy! Wear those fun colors and light up other people’s lives!
Joy is contagious!
😍 loved it
I am a Soft Summer, which is a summer tending toward autumn. My color chart includes Pantone “Garden Glade” and “Shadow Green,” which look a lot like the tank you bought. Maybe it isn’t so far out of your usual color range as you thought!
it’s a tiny bit warmer than my summer yellow.