Why I’m Going Gray
Happy Wednesday ladies. As the title suggests, I’ve decided to see what’s happening with my hair color so I’m going gray. I haven’t been happy with the color of my highlights and their tendency towards brassiness for many years, so about 6 months ago, I decided to go cold turkey.
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I can’t say I’m going just gray, because what’s growing in, looks more like an ashy pewter gray. My hairstylist tells me it’s a combination of shades that includes some silver strands, ash blonde, and pure white. The overall effect looks darker in my bathroom lights and almost unnoticeable in other lights. Have you noticed the change?
My hair texture has definitely changed. I really miss the volume I got from coloring my hair. When you use bleach, it swells the hair shaft by opening the cuticle which adds volume. For a woman with thin, baby fine, poker-straight hair, that’s a big deal. It’s a lot flatter now too so I’m adjusting how I style it and trying to get used to the change.
Because I was a light blonde with highlights, I’m not dealing with a solid demarcation line where it’s growing. I am still dealing with the moth-eaten look and in some lights, I could be confused for a woman who has just given up. That gorgeous natural gray hair I envisioned just hasn’t shown up yet. I wonder if it will.
Natural brunettes would be hard-pressed to go gray the way I am without having their hair colorist make some adjustments. My stylist wanted to use a toner to help with the transition but I decided against it until I see what I have naturally.
I’ve got a ways to go before I see the full effect of my new, natural hair color, but I’m already changing my hair care products. I’m now using a purple shampoo every day and more conditioner but my hair is still not as shiny as it used to be. The reflective quality of the gray strands is quite different than highlighted hair.
Most hairspray also has a matte finish and I use it every day which makes my hair look dull. The shine products and glosses usually have an oily component to them which is fatal for fine hair. I did order a few things to try and will let you know how they work out.
In other news- we attended several holiday get-togethers last weekend and now that I’m letting my hair grow out, all I see are women who’ve done the same. I noticed something interesting at one event. The women who are maintaining their original dark brown hair, look older than the women who have lightened it or allowed it to lighten on its own. As we discussed earlier this week, our contrast changes as we age and that involves our hair color.
You might enjoy- How To Find Your Personal Contrast Level And Why It Matters
Many who are gray are wearing their hair in a pixie cut which is not a great look with my broad shoulders and square jaw. I’ve been looking for haircut ideas on Pinterest and Instagram, but for now, I don’t want to do anything drastic. One big change at a time is enough for me.
Now that I’ve started this, I’m anxious to get to the finish line. I’ve already decided that if I don’t like the results, I can always go back to the salon for color. Going gray is a personal choice each woman makes based on her lifestyle, upkeep of color, finances, and health concerns. It’s our privilege to go gray or not, and I encourage us to support other women’s choices.
How about you. Have you gone gray? How easy was the process?
Thanks for reading ladies and remember to wear what makes you feel confident.
Your post resonates with me – during the Covid shutdown in 2020 I decided I would go gray – there would never be a better time. It took about 8 months and really wasn’t too bad – I have dark hair that I always highlighted so I never really had the severe demarcation line. There were definitely some interesting stages though; I laughed at your”I could be mistaken for a woman who has given up” remark! There are apparently several stages that we go through when deciding to go gray and one of them is not caring what other people think. Almost two years later, I couldn’t be happier – I was really tired of the expense. I use a couple special products but haven’t gone too crazy. I have a lot of hair so I don’t really need much help. I’m apparently a true salt and pepper which is how brunettes go gray – I’m guessing I will eventually be white but maybe not for a few years. I couldn’t agree more about the women who color their hair looking older – nature must have know what she was doing, we just couldn’t see it at the time. Good luck and don’t give up!
You natural hair color is lovely! Of course the gray sweater just really brings it out more. I’m still dyeing and okay with it for now. I only have gray at the temples at this point, but super fine hair like yours. One day…
Looking forward to hearing your product review for what you’re trying now.
I was born with dirty blond color hair , of course my brother had the platinum blond hair color, go figure ? When I reached adulthood I had my hair stylist frost my hair and this continued for 30 some years. Finally on a monthly trip to the hair salon the stylist advised me my hair had finally become naturally frosted. I was thrilled ….. money saved, of course. Now that I shall becone 90 years old on my next birthday my hair is completely white and thin and fine. I wear it short but still go to the beauty parlor ever so often to have it styled. So….. you go for it . 👌
Timely subject for me and interested to start reading all the comments! I started a few months ago to let my natural hair come in. Both my mother and grandmother had gorgeous white hair so I am hoping mine will follow suit. I have one haircut to go as I have it in a pixie and so far I’m liking it. Can’t wait to get the final brown cut off. My daughter, who is a hairdresser, has been urging me to do it for awhile now but I wasn’t ready until this winter when I knew I wouldn’t be going out a lot and could always throw on a touque when I did. Lol. I’ve got to say it’s freeing to not have to worry about roots all the time!
Hello, Your hair looks great, very natural and pretty. An apple cider vinegar and water, half and half, rinse after shampooing has worked for me to help with shine. Take care, Betty
Thanks for sharing your journey that I am also on. I’d been thinking about going gray for all the reasons you shared. I kept thinking back to an article in a magazine I saw years ago, it followed a woman who had colored her hair a medium brown and went gray. She was far more attractive with her gray, which all makes sense now. I have short hair, colored it medium brown, and was hoping for a quicker transition. I’m anxious for the highlights, that were done to help with the transition, and some of the original brown to be gone. I appreciate everyone sharing their journey which is inspiring for me to stick with it. I will say it is really freeing to not be worried about my ‘skunk’ line.
Hello its Carole from Roseville….I recommend trying Glimmer Shine by Moroccan Oil. It adds a bit of shine. After styling your hair, just spray on. Worth a try!
I waited to go gray until my hairdresser and I felt that most of my hair had changed. Then, I think I just let it grow out. May have gone to a pixie cut to get rid of color. It’s been a while; I don’t really remember.
Try Davines Volume Boosting mousse, I have baby fine hair in a pixie cut. It gives texture without feeling sticky or losing the shine. Sounds like it may feel like your hair when it had been colored. I have never used hair products because I don’t like how it makes my hair feel but I love this! I support you going grey, I agree most women look so much better in their natural color.
Another subject close to my heart. Thin fine hair has been the bane of my life.
No swinging shining ponytail, no long hairdos for me. Especially tough I have a crown in the back and the hair grows to the east, west, south and north of it leaving a nearly bald spot. I was a natural strawberry blonde and Ive got grey in there now.
Still doing a few low lights for body.
I’ve not noticed a change in your colour yet. Always ready for product tips.
I thought about going gray during the pandemic. When I finally went to my hair stylist, he said that it will add 10 years to my age. Decided I looked old enough and dyed my hair again. Because your hair was light, you still look good!
I don’t think you are supposed to use the purple shampoo every day, only once a week. If used too often it can give your hair a lilac tint!
I was wondering if you were making the transition to gray. I did it three years ago and it is so worth it! Whatever color mother nature gives you, it will be flattering. I agree with you that the women who have gone gray look softer and younger compared to the harsh look of dyed hair. Transitioning to your natural color is definitely a journey. There are new ways to take care of your virgin hair as well as choosing new makeup and clothing colors to create the authentic you. My hair seemed dull while it was growing out, but now is healthy and shiny. Enjoy your journey and hang in there!
I’m so glad to hear yours looked full during the grow out too!! I’m relieved.
You look great in the photos! I think you will like the effects once you grow out all the hair that you had colored.
I went fully gray about nine years ago after a disastrous bleach job! At first I had snarky comments that my hair was “aging” me. One woman gave me her hairdressers phone number.
I tossed the aging comments off because I have always been honest about my age with everyone and am not bothered by it. I am 68.
It took a good two full years to grow out the damaged hair. Soon I began to see platinum blonde around my face and spreckled around the rest of my head and I get compliments on it now!
So hang in there, see what Mother Nature has in mind for you and don’t apologize for it!
Hi Jennifer, I also have gone grey and I love it! I’ve received many compliments on my new color! I would like to know did you change your makeup color palette? Are you now choosing lighter colors or darker in makeup colors? Love your blog, you always have such good ideas!
Barbara
I was originally a strawberry blonde, very Irish looking with a fair amount of red in my hair. It was always and still is very fine and straight. I went natural a few years ago and never looked back. The red got less and less and now I’m completely platinum. Even my hairdresser recently asked if I’d added a blonde colour. I love it and get many compliments. I wear it simply in a longish bob.
I love your blog Jennifer and think you always look great.
Thank you Jen
I would like to get my colors done in person. Do you know of any companies that service the north bay specifically Santa Rosa California?
I do. Please send me an email at [email protected]
I decided before COVID that I’d had enough of trying to be a redhead and go back to the orginal brownish blonde. Wow! there was lots of gray in the mix. But since I wasn’t going out and about for the foreseeable future, I just said pooh and let it grow out. There’s been lots of disliking, lots of pinning and prodding and product in the hair. However, it did grow out and my stylist finally convinced me to go short and sassy with the natural curl that was hiding there all along! Now it’s many colors with a healthy handful of gray and silver “wisdom lites”, and it’s also wash and wear. I get so many compliments, funny, especially from young women asking where I go for my “highlights”. I’m so glad I did it, now. But it took over a year (!!) before I felt comfortable with this choice. I’m wishing you lots of luck with it – it certainly does take time and a great stylist. But I also think you’re a beautiful lady and you’ll will find yourself embracing that!
Thanks so much Kathleen
Hi Jennifer, I can totally relate to this post as I too have recently chosen to let my hair colour grow out and see what the grey looks like. and like you I have fine hair. So far the front and top is quite a nice silver but the back is much darker and I still have quite a bit of dye to grow out. I also had my hair cut really short which, although I’m not thrilled with it, has proved to be a good choice because of my arthritis in my hands and wrists.
I think your hair looks lovely and the style suits you well. Good luck with the transition.
I went gray years ago. As a child I was a brunette. I got my first gray hair in middle school. When I was in my late 30’s after home coloring it brown, I went to a hairdresser and ended up blonde. Because my hair ranged from brown to white, the new color ranged from pale blonde to honey blonde so it wasn’t a solid one color. After a few years of that and tired of the upkeep, I grew it out and found it easy. Went to my hairdresser once and I can’t describe exactly what he did, added some low lights I think. After a little while I cut my shoulder length hair to a chin length bob. I never had a demarcation line. Think of it this way. Our heads are sort of round like a ping pong ball so the hair from the nape of the neck to the top is all growing, but the underneath layers grow out first. It will be interesting to see how this goes for you. Once it has grown out, you may add some highlights to give you some body without as much upkeep. I am very supportive of whatever choice a woman makes. My main problem is thinning due to thyroid, oh well, it’s always something …
My thyroid wrecks havoc on my hair too 🙁