Why I’m Going Gray
Happy Wednesday ladies. As the title suggests, I’ve decided to see what’s happening with my hair color so I’m going gray. I haven’t been happy with the color of my highlights and their tendency towards brassiness for many years, so about 6 months ago, I decided to go cold turkey.
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I can’t say I’m going just gray, because what’s growing in, looks more like an ashy pewter gray. My hairstylist tells me it’s a combination of shades that includes some silver strands, ash blonde, and pure white. The overall effect looks darker in my bathroom lights and almost unnoticeable in other lights. Have you noticed the change?
My hair texture has definitely changed. I really miss the volume I got from coloring my hair. When you use bleach, it swells the hair shaft by opening the cuticle which adds volume. For a woman with thin, baby fine, poker-straight hair, that’s a big deal. It’s a lot flatter now too so I’m adjusting how I style it and trying to get used to the change.
Because I was a light blonde with highlights, I’m not dealing with a solid demarcation line where it’s growing. I am still dealing with the moth-eaten look and in some lights, I could be confused for a woman who has just given up. That gorgeous natural gray hair I envisioned just hasn’t shown up yet. I wonder if it will.
Natural brunettes would be hard-pressed to go gray the way I am without having their hair colorist make some adjustments. My stylist wanted to use a toner to help with the transition but I decided against it until I see what I have naturally.
I’ve got a ways to go before I see the full effect of my new, natural hair color, but I’m already changing my hair care products. I’m now using a purple shampoo every day and more conditioner but my hair is still not as shiny as it used to be. The reflective quality of the gray strands is quite different than highlighted hair.
Most hairspray also has a matte finish and I use it every day which makes my hair look dull. The shine products and glosses usually have an oily component to them which is fatal for fine hair. I did order a few things to try and will let you know how they work out.
In other news- we attended several holiday get-togethers last weekend and now that I’m letting my hair grow out, all I see are women who’ve done the same. I noticed something interesting at one event. The women who are maintaining their original dark brown hair, look older than the women who have lightened it or allowed it to lighten on its own. As we discussed earlier this week, our contrast changes as we age and that involves our hair color.
You might enjoy- How To Find Your Personal Contrast Level And Why It Matters
Many who are gray are wearing their hair in a pixie cut which is not a great look with my broad shoulders and square jaw. I’ve been looking for haircut ideas on Pinterest and Instagram, but for now, I don’t want to do anything drastic. One big change at a time is enough for me.
Now that I’ve started this, I’m anxious to get to the finish line. I’ve already decided that if I don’t like the results, I can always go back to the salon for color. Going gray is a personal choice each woman makes based on her lifestyle, upkeep of color, finances, and health concerns. It’s our privilege to go gray or not, and I encourage us to support other women’s choices.
How about you. Have you gone gray? How easy was the process?
Thanks for reading ladies and remember to wear what makes you feel confident.
I am what my mother called “dirty dishwater” blonde, not light blonde but with many natural highlights. Eventually I started highlighting my hair. In my mid 60’s I just got tired of it (and the money spent!) and went natural. Best thing I ever did! My hair is naturally lighter in the front around my face and I love it. When people ask me who colors my hair I tell them God does. I feel my hair is healthier, too, without the chemicals. And yes, being natural blonde does make the transition easier.
Just today I got a compliment on my “natural highlights”. 😉 I was always an ashy brunette so I loved my warm highlights to brighten up my look. But in the end, I didn’t want to be a slave to coloring my hair. When the grow out got long enough I did the chop from long hair to a bob. I still think about going back…but don’t think I ever will.
I stopped heavily highlighting my hair about 4 years ago because it was looking to warm and brassy. The change has been great. The gray keeps coming in but it seems to feel just right for what’s going on with my skin tone. I’m so happy I stopped doing it because of how it looks, but also to be done with the chemicals, it just feels better for me. Good luck, I bet it’s going to look great when it’s finally all in and you’ll find products that work for you, you’re great at that! And if you don’t like it, you can change it!!
Well here we go with the “go grey” thing again…..I sincerely hope it goes well for you. I have straight fine hair but lots of it and I currently get blonde highlights. I get the highlights because I really have NO grey to go to…..just blah not anything colour….not blonde, not brown just sort of blah taupe. I soooo hoped that I would get my Grandfather’s pure snow white hair but no such luck.
Women of a certain age used to be looked down on because they were grey….I certainly hope we don’t swing to the other side of the pendulum and look down on women who continue to colour their hair…..could we just let everyone do the best with what they have?
Yes, we must celebrate every woman’s decision about her hair!! I fear I may not have enough either so that’s why I m growing it out.
I started going gray last year. My hair is coming out about 50% gray and 50% light brown. I bought temporary dye from Overtone to help make the roots less noticeable. It lasts about a week and they have a lot of colors. This year I started experimenting with colors and currently am dyeing my hair dark blue, which makes the gray blue and leaves the brown a purple color. I love it! Lots of people (mostly young) have complimented me, others just look at me funny but don’t say a word!
How fun!!! Bravo Janet
Good Morning,
Relish your gray hair, you silver foxes out there. It is so much better for the hair particularly your scalp, to go natural, not continually coloured as I found out a few years ago. It is more other people’s perception of you as an ‘old’ person with gray hair but that ash colour has been very popular with younger people for quite a while now. I use the purple shampoos and they will bring shine to your hair. Probably for me, a really good style cut is the answer, not to let it get too long and brassy on the ends. I looked up lots of cuts for women over 50 on the internet until I found what I was comfortable with. You still need that fabulous relationship with your hairdresser. Good luck everyone on your silver fox journeys.
I use an inexpensive hairspray called Freeze it and it has optical brighteners which seem to add shine but not oiliness to my hair, but it is stiff. I have had blond hair all of my life, dark blonde in winter since I didn’t spend time out in the sun in winter, and much blonder in summer when I used to be outside. Now since I have knee problems I spend very little time outside, and have had so much time with various places healing after knee surgeries, and a problem left over by one of the knee surgeries, and lately eye surgery that takes a very long time to heal. I used to cheat and use a home coloring blonde touch up color when my hair got too grey at the temples are too dark at the roots. I haven’t been able to do that in about a year, either wounds I didn’t want to get hair color in as I rinsed my hair in the shower and now my healing eye
surgery,which I am not even supposed to get plain water in. My hair is now a light brown with very light sprinklings of white straight hair throughout, but quite a bit under my hair where it doesn’t show much at my temples. When my eye is completely healed I will color those white temples with light brown touch up color. I sure liked my blonde hair better, but this brown is so much easier than my home hair color. One problem is that this very plain light brown hair just isn’t complemented by my clothes that went with blonde,and my complexion looks washed out, I think I need some peppier blusher and lipstick. Maybe my complexion is washed out from having macular hole surgery and being in my 6th week of healing with a gas bubble in my eye. Maybe in about 3 weeks when the bubble is gone, I will feel better and some of my color may come back to my cheeks. When I pass a mirror it still surprises me to see my brown hair.
I’m so sorry Susie. You’ve had a really rough time!! I think a brighter cheery lipstick is definitely in order for you! Sending healing thoughts your way!
Your hair color looks great! I went grey at 56 about 8 years ago and love it! It’s freeing and very glamorous and classy! Embrace the grey ❤
I have been going gray for about four years. I’m more pepper than salt. I wish it would just go gray. I thought I would quickly. My dad’s whole family grayed early. I must take after my mom. She didn’t go to totally gray until her seventies. I’m 62, and I want pretty white hair like one of my aunt’s had. She was my dad’s sister of course. I’m hoping I can get that way some day.
Thanks for sharing this journey, Jennifer! My hair color, texture and length is similar to yours. I also debated going natural during COVID, when I found that my color (blond, with highlights and lowlights) didn’t look all that different as it grew out. Like you, I missed the volume and went back to highlights, but changed my appointment schedule to more cuts and fewer highlights. I’m still toying with the idea of stoping altogether. With the volume from the highlights also comes a certain dullness and lack of shine. I find the same thing occurs with volumizing products, since they rough up the hair. Even though it’s counter intuitive, I find using hydrating products and a tiny bit of Moroccan oil for light hair at the ends work much better for my fine hair.
Good for you! A little over 3 years ago I walked into the salon to get color followed by highlights—when I sat down with my stylist and friend I said “I think I’m done.” We decided to cut my hair a little shorter, forget the color and go heavy on the highlights. No one ever noticed the demarcation line. I haven’t look back. Like you my hair is fine and straight as a stick. Also like you, I missed the body I got from color. I had to change products, now I use good old Paul Mitchell Shampoo One, every two weeks I use Paul Mitchell Cream shampoo to get rid of built up hair products. I use Redken Hardware when I blow out my hair, followed by a spritz of Paul Mitchell Clean Light hairspray. I give myself a Redken CAT treatment every two weeks. That’s the best formula for my hair, it also keeps my hair shiny. Now on to the good news, for the first time in my entire life people tell me what beautiful hair I have. Also, I seem to have about 25% more hair than I used to—yay! FWIW, I’m 68 with pure white hair and dark eyebrows.
Jennifer. I only noticed that your hair is longer. I have highlights but I quit coloring the base three years ago. My natural color has many different colors in it and using a base color made my hair full and one dimensional. I only have what they call a sunburst which is just on the top layer The gray is a whiteish and is in my bangs and at my temples. The same spots my natural hair would get sun bleached to almost white in the summer. I actually use sun in on the crown to pop it up a bit. My hair is golden so it works for me. I can live with this just fine.
I am 52 and had wanted to go natural for a few years. When COVID hit I decided to go for it and thankful I did. I colored my hair a medium brown so I had the skunk line but I have been working from home, and just threw on a hat when I went out, it was an easy transition. I stopped coloring in March 2020 and in December 2020 my hair was long enough to cut the very little colored hair that was left off. I have very thick hair but it was course when I colored it. My hair has actually gotten thicker and it is so soft now, I love it. My hair is so healthy without all the chemicals! I would suggest sticking with it for at least 9 months. I have pretty nice silver, shiny hair but when I really want it to shine I use the Aveda Brilliant line of products, the finishing gloss really brings out the sparkle. I think you would look great in a Diane Keaton ‘Somethings Got to Give’ hairstyle, the layers would help the fine hair. Best of luck to you, you can do it!
Thanks Kate
I for one are with you on going gray. Only four months in but like my new color.
Seeing lots of gals around me also following the gray trend. Your hair looks good!
A year ago I was coloring my hair weekly to keep in looking good over the holidays. January, I decided to let my stylist put in highlights. A year later, I get lowlights every three months to keep it from looking too flat. It is growing longer with side swept bangs instead of my usual pixie cut. I expected to have white hair like my sister has had most of her adult life. Instead it is a platinum blond. My husband loves my hair. Everyone tells me that it makes me look younger. Now, my hair is in a bob that is almost to my shoulders. I have the hair I always wanted when I was younger. I have adjusted my products. I use purple shampoo weekly and I have added some product for volume at the top. My hair has always been fairly thick with lots of volume, but now I have to help it along more.
I went gray several years ago and like you, I was blonde with highlights, so the demarcation was not as great as other people I knew who had darker hair. My gray, though, was very white which washed me out. I had my colorist start putting in a few darker strands to give it some depth and not appear all one color. But when I recently saw pictures of myself at my daughter’s wedding shower, I felt I looked drab and I knew I didn’t want to be gray for her wedding. So I went back to my medium blonde with highlights look for her wedding…and I was glad I wasn’t gray for the wedding pictures.
Yes…embracing my grey, which isn’t grey at all, but white. I’m a natural mid-tone blonde like my Dad was, and he literally has Santa Clause hair now : shoulder length, curly and white as snow. I still get a few salon-blended highlights which adds a little more sparkle to my head. I’m about 30% white now, and secretly wish it was 100%!
I do understand that feeling. I’m sorry I don’t have more gray.
I allowed my natural color to grow in during the pandemic’s 2020 isolation. It was hard. I did it because it was an opportune time and because coloring my hair was getting harder and harder on my hair. I tried purple shampoo for awhile but am preferring a shampoo and conditioner formulated for fine hair-no other products . I now wear a simple bob cut with thin wispy bangs and a bit of wedge in back which helps give the effect of more fullness than I really have—I dry my hair almost dry with a comb blower and then set it in foam Velcro rollers to encourage fullness and spray lightly. I may not love the gray but I’m never going back to coloring.
Jennifer…your hair is just fine! Really, just fine!
I’ve had gray”ish” hair for 35 years and it is Snow White now at 71!
I’ve NEVER colored my hair(yet)! Believe it or not! And my hair stylist refuses! Lol!
I find that I cannot use conditioner at all on this fine hair. I use Nutrogena shampoo to keep it white. Blue shampoo didn’t work, ever! I use pretty cheap, yes, cheap, hairspray on damp hair and then scrunch it up. Less product keeps it light and styled.
I keep a long shaggy pixie cut with lots of Texturizing! It is sooo wash and go….so easy.
My hair always added to my credibility in my education career…a trade off??
Keep up the great work of being honest with us!!
i have darker hair and decided years ago to go to my natural color!! My grandmother had white hair and my mother silver hair!! Low and behold, I thought I was much grayer than I am!! I still have my dark hair with silver/gray around hairline and sides. It’s natural and I keep expecting it to get grayer and it doesn’t!! Enjoy your journey. You may be surprised at the outcome!!